Psychology Explains How to Rewire Your Brain to Stop Procrastination


If you learn nothing else from this article, let it be this: your brain is designed to have an insatiable appetite for stimulus. We just can’t stand being bored. A split second of downtime and we’re reaching for our phones, a magazine, or searching the internet. Have you ever noticed that? Of course, you have. Everyone has.

But it isn’t your fault. Really. The brain is wired to avoid the “same old, same old” and seek the novel. The problem is that if such innate behaviors of the brain are left unchecked, we quickly become procrastinators. Procrastination is defined as “putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention.” Procrastination carries a considerable price tag. Not only are we far less likely to reach anything close to our potential, but we put our very health and wellbeing at risk by taking on unnecessary stress.

In this article, we’re going to focus on the psychology behind procrastination. Also, we’ll talk about how you can rewire the brain to become more productive, stop procrastinating, and feel better about yourself!

Why does procrastination even exist?

“You feel caught, trapped in a vortex of anxiety, stress, and procrastination. Many of my clients have been told, or have told themselves, that they procrastinate because they are disorganized, lazy, or worse because they just don’t care enough! Most of the time, nothing could be further from the truth.” – Pamela Wiegertz, Ph.D. (source)

Procrastination is a pervasive problem in society. It’s probably not a stretch to say that nearly everyone procrastinates at some point – and probably to some extent every single day. Perhaps the more important question to ask and answer is, “Why do we procrastinate?”

Answering this question is all the more vital for chronic procrastinators – the folks who continuously delay things in both their personal and professional lives. One expert who specializes in the psychology of procrastination estimates that two out of every ten people (20%) are chronic procrastinators, a higher percentage than that of clinical depression or phobia.

Put simply, procrastination is deeply rooted in human psychology and, thus, the human brain. This biological predisposition to procrastination is a force with which to be reckoned, particularly in this age of distraction.

The habit of procrastination correlates highly with disorders like ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, and anxiety. Negative personality traits such as the proclivity for revenge and passive-aggressiveness have also been linked to procrastination.

Stress, however, may be the most universal catalyst of procrastination. When stress builds up, it reaches a point where it becomes highly distracting – something known as the procrastination accumulation effect. Put simply, stress accumulates to the point where one’s default mode is procrastination; and the stress caused by the procrastination itself results in a cyclical effect. The procrastination accumulation effect is probably the number one reason why people procrastinate.

“We don’t view procrastination as a serious problem but as a common tendency to be lazy or dawdling. But we have shown in our research that it is much, much more. For those chronic procrastinators, it is not a time management issue – it is a maladaptive lifestyle.” – Joseph Ferrari, Ph.D. (source)

Rewire the brain for proactivity

“The price you pay for procrastination is not always immediate. The true cost becomes apparent via a ripple effect that expands the more you put things off. This ripple effect eventually impacts both your personal and professional lives.” – Damon Zahariades (source)

The inability or unwillingness to override these automatic impulses is what separates procrastinators of the chronic variety from the rest of us. Fortunately, there are means of rewiring the brain for proactivity as opposed to procrastination. Without further ado, here are some ways to help rewire the brain to stop procrastination:

Accept Reality

Nothing is gained by beating yourself up over procrastination. Instead, constantly berating yourself drains vital energy and makes it more likely that you will procrastinate in the future.

Again, all of us put things off. It’s the ability to witness the presence of procrastination and bring your attention to the task requiring completion that counts. Have compassion for yourself, promise to do better – and then move on.

Beat Perfectionism

The need to be perfect is a severe hindrance to proactivity – the antithesis of procrastination. You could do something a million times with the utmost effort and never achieve perfection. The logic is quite simple: humans are fallible (read: imperfect) creatures. How much sense does it make, then, to think that we can be perfect in anything we do? Not very much.

Instead of focusing on the impossible aim of perfection, gauge your focus and skillfulness on the task at hand. The former builds upon the latter, leading to a more proactive, fulfilled mindset.

Celebrate Accomplishments

We humans are funny when it comes to goals and achievements. We’ll work towards a goal, expecting fulfillment only to achieve that goal and not think twice about it. Sure, we’ll get a momentary high from having completed something, but this feeling quickly fades and we forget it entirely.

It is vital for your self-esteem to celebrate your accomplishments. Not only should you revel in the moment of achievement, but also while looking back at all you’ve achieved. Why? Because we quickly forget just how awesome we are! For example, we’ll hit a bump in the road, doubt our capabilities, and procrastinate. Instead, think of a time when you overcame the odds. This will make you feel better while reminding you of your real abilities!

Eat Right

It’s no secret that the brain is an energy-hungry organ. Per Scientific American, the brain uses up more energy than any other organ – upwards of 20 percent. This despite the fact that the brain weighs just 3 pounds!

Proper nutrition is absolutely critical for overall energy. It is therefore essential that you eat right. With this fact in mind, here is a short list of some of the best consumables for the noggin:

  • Omega 3 fatty acids: Omega-3s improve the structure and communication of neurons. They do this by providing the raw ingredients for the myelin sheath, a protective covering that surrounds fibers called axons. The best source of omega-3s is fatty fish like mackerel and salmon.
  • Cacao (cocoa): The brain is highly prone to oxidative stress. The antioxidant flavonoids found in cacao protects the brain against this stress. Cacao may also help with blood vessel and neuron growth – two essential brain components for learning and memory. The best source of cacao is high-quality dark chocolate.
  • Caffeine: Coffee lovers, rejoice. The caffeine in coffee and other beverages aids concentration and provides a good, though short-term, source of energy. The only caveat is that caffeine must be consumed in moderation. Moreover, caffeine is a known diuretic, making it necessary to drink water to avoid dehydration.
  • Monounsaturated fats: A healthy type of fat, monounsaturated fat, reduces blood pressure and protects against cognitive impairment and decline. Avocados are an excellent source of monounsaturated fats, as are almonds, cashews, chia seeds, fish, and soybeans.

“Just Do It”

The familiar discomfort accompanying procrastination quickly fades when we just get started on whatever we’re delaying. A big reason for this is we have a tendency to make too much of our expectations and judgments. In other words, we seriously misconstrue our thoughts and emotions.

You’ll find that by getting started, the task isn’t so daunting and there really was no good reason for avoiding it after all! Something that may help you get to the job faster in the future is to discover a reusable method of completing it. For example, if you tend to put off writing a report, try constructing an outline that you can reuse in the future.

Single Task

To “single task” is to pay attention to one thing at a time. Not only is single-tasking a more effective means of accomplishing a task, but approaching work in this way also saves the brain energy. As we’ve discussed, the brain’s energy supply is an inextricable component of getting things done and not procrastinating.

Another thing about single-tasking: focus on one part of a project at a time. This piece of advice is especially applicable for larger pieces of work that require a significant amount of time and effort. Going back to the report writing example, instead of saying to yourself, “I have 2,500 more words to write!” think, “I have 300 more words to finish this part, and this is where I’ll focus my attention.”

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6 Habits of People That Reach Their Full Potential

Contemplating the phrase “reaching your potential” often conjures up conflicting feelings of wasting that very same potential. You may be unclear as to how to reach your full potential, which only causes additional self-conflict.

Don’t fret if this describes you. Why? Because such feelings are common among the ambitious – the folks who want to fulfill their potential, but perhaps are at a bit of a loss as to how.

Here’s another reason you needn’t fret: human beings are full of untapped power. Consider the human brain. Some of the smartest people in the world are at a complete loss as to the inner workings of thought. So marvelously complex is the brain that many scientists have labeled it as the most extraordinary thing in the known universe!

To some, we are burdened with the limitation of time. While it is true that we don’t know just how much time we have left on this Earth, history (and psychology) shows us that lifespan is in no way indicative of the quality of life. Acknowledging this fact means making the most out of your days. And one way we do this is by fulfilling our limitless potential.

This article focuses on six habits of people who fulfill their potential. We’ll also discuss the real meaning of potential and how you can best align potential with purpose. Let’s do this!

“Human potential is the same for all. Your feeling, ‘I am of no value,’ is wrong. Absolutely wrong. You are deceiving yourself.” – The Dalai Lama

Forget “Stuff” and Find Purpose

“A lot of research has been conducted on the relationship between wellbeing and materialism, with a consistent theme emerging in the results: More materialistic people are not as happy as less materialistic people.” – Ian Zimmerman, Ph.D. (source)

Part of the journey (and it is a journey!) that is reaching your potential involves realizing that doing so for the sake of money or possessions is fruitless. These things come and go, as do the satisfaction that comes with them. What matters is your person, your soul, your calling. Things that can never be taken from you. And, quite possibly, things that survive the death of the physical body.

If you study the names of those forever etched in the books of history – Leonardo Di Vinci, Mother Teresa, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Mohammad Ali – you realize that they all lived for a purpose. In the case of Franklin, this purpose was becoming a statesman. For Ali, a larger-than-life sportsman and peace activist.

While their livelihoods, personality, education, and background were all different, their impact on those who knew them was subjectively similar. All of these people were bigger than such things.

You needn’t be an inventor, statesman, scientist, or sportsman to fulfill your potential. There are millions of “normal” folks out there who are proving themselves every day. How?

By following these six lifestyle habits:

  1. Living each day with purpose

Surprise, surprise! Number one is so for a reason – and cannot be emphasized enough! Purpose gives life meaning. Purpose gets you out of bed every morning. Without purpose, life remains meaningless.

A clearly-defined purpose awakens the dormant powers within you to achieve that purpose. If you can create a vision in your mind’s eye, you can live the life you desire.

If you don’t yet know your life’s purpose, that’s okay! Here are a few questions to ask yourself that may help uncover it:

  • What were you passionate about as a kid?
  • If you didn’t need to work for money, what would you do?
  • What activity causes you to lose track of time?
  • Who or what do you hold near and dear to your heart?
  • What issues do you bring up with your family and closest friends?
  • What do you dream about?
  1. Meditation and/or mindfulness practice

According to Tim Ferris, around 80 percent of the people he interviews have a daily mindfulness practice. Ferris, upon understanding the numerous benefits of meditation, took up a regular practice himself. “Meditation, or mindfulness practice, it’s really about, to me, decreasing emotional reactivity so you can proactively create your day and create your life; versus, just being a walking reflex that sometimes screws up,” says Ferris.

Numerous research studies verify the benefits of meditation and mindfulness, including:

  • Less anxiety and stress
  • Improved self-image
  • More positive life outlook
  • Reduction of depressive symptoms
  • Enhanced self-awareness
  • Longer attention span
  • Better quality sleep
  • Pain control
  • Lower blood pressure
  1. A solid morning routine

The reason behind a good morning routine is simple: by expending less energy in the morning, you are able to conserve it for more demanding, purpose-driven tasks later. Of course, what you do in the morning – and how you do it – sets you up for the rest of the day.

Of course, a solid morning routine is more than just going through the motions. You must implement the right habits, including exercise, meditation, planning, reading, and accomplishing your most important task. Successful people also spend quality time with their family or by themselves (quiet time).

  1. Commitment to excellence

Fulfillment of potential and striving for excellent are two peas in a pod. You can’t separate one from the other. Excellence in this sense means to put forth the needed effort, concentration, and skill to do the best work possible. Only by fully committing your capabilities to the work at hand can you create excellence. Only by creating excellence can you fulfill your potential.

People often make things harder than they have to be by not giving their full attention to the task at hand. Allowing your attention and focus to disperse isn’t conducive to excellent work. On the contrary, gently and directly redirecting your concentration – as needed – to the task at hand will ensure excellence every time.

  1. Doing the right thing

People who truly fulfill their potential are benefactors of society. They are committed to doing the right thing, every time, whether “profitable” or not. Perhaps this habit is the best one to illustrate the gulf between success and fulfillment.

Someone who isn’t particularly keen on acting ethically can achieve success from an outsider’s perspective – but they’ll probably never be happy in the long term. Fulfilled people, on the other hand, are both successful and happy – in no small part because they commit to acting for the benefit of everyone, including society as a whole.

  1. Maintaining focus

There is no way to reach your full potential without a great deal of focus. Things happen in life that will test your commitment to your purpose. Whether or not you can keep on depends a great deal on where you place your attention. If you maintain laser-like focus despite the obstacles, you have a much greater chance of fulfilling your potential.

When something bad happens, such as a setback, allow it to take its natural course. Be upset if you want. Get angry. Resent the situation. But then redirect your focus and “keep on keeping on!” Those who fulfill their potential do this as a habit. They may get miffed beyond belief, but they have an uncanny ability to keep their eye on the ball.

Final thought: Fulfillment isn’t struggle

By now you should have a solid understanding as to the sacrifices required to reach your potential. So now seems like a good time to understand that a fulfilling life doesn’t mean perpetual struggle. For if it did, life wouldn’t be too satisfying, would it?

Indeed, the idea that the path to realizing one’s potential as being rife with struggle needs to vanish. It is perhaps because of this misperception that most don’t end up reaching their potential.

The truth is that while setbacks are inevitable, they are much easier overcome through a commitment to purpose. Purpose trumps worry, doubt, and struggle every time. Be passionate about what you want, learn as much as you can, stay focused, and you will realize your potential!

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10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Breast Health


Every woman is concerned about breast health and their own personal chances of experiencing this alarmingly common cancer. Statistics only add to the concerns, as current predictions put 1 in 8 women at risk. Everyone agrees that breast cancer prevention is key to lowering these statistics.

There are steps every woman can take to strive for a lifetime of favorable breast health. And there are also steps to take to ensure any problems will be noticed and addressed before they can become life-threatening. Although the statistics may be scary, the survival rates continue to increase as more women take proactive measures.

So what can you do to take care of your breast health at every stage of life? How can you know your chances of experiencing breast cancer, and what changes in lifestyle can help increase cancer prevention? Here are 10 points to ponder for your own health and awareness.

1. Everyone is different.

There is no absolute standard by which all women should judge their breasts. Every shape, size, and color is beautiful and unique. Whatever you may have been told, It is likely that the breasts you were born with are perfectly healthy and normal for you, so enjoy yourself for who you are[1].

That being said, your lifestyle may or may not affect your breast health. There are all kinds of claims about wearing bras, sleeping positions, and exercise. None of these things have been definitively proven to increase or decrease breast size, and will not be able to defy the law of gravity as you age. Taking care of your overall health is one step toward keeping your breasts healthy, but you can expect your breasts to continue to change with children and age, just like the rest of you.

2. Wearing a bra–yes or no?

First of all, in spite of what you may have heard or read, there is absolutely no scientific proof of a link between wearing a bra and breast cancer[2]. However, an improperly fitted bra may cause back and shoulder discomfort and possibly clog milk ducts in breastfeeding moms, so make sure you have properly measured yourself for comfortable support.

More active women find extra support to be helpful when exercising. And those more “well endowed” often like to keep those girls under control. Everyone has their own style, and if you’re more comfortable wearing a bra, don’t feel guilty about it. Your breast health does not depend upon it, so don’t let the media dictate your preferences[3].

3. Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding has gone in and out of vogue over the last century, but more recent studies seem to indicate that breastfeeding can lower your risk of cancer by 20%, more or less. There are also indications that breastfeeding your daughter can help lower her chances of developing breast cancer[4].

Most people know that breastfeeding provides newborns with antibodies that kickstart a healthy immune system as well as assist in forming a strong mother/child bond. But the benefits to mothers have also been verified by studies in several different countries. These studies show a lowered risk of one of the most aggressive types of cancer, hormone-receptor-negative cancer[5]. So there are more reasons than ever for expectant mothers to consider this natural option.

4. Birth control medication.

For healthy women who are not positive for genetic factors leading to breast cancer, hormonal birth control methods such as pills, injections, or a ring may increase the chance of cancer…but only by a very small amount. And the longer you go cancer-free after you stop taking the contraceptives, the less chance there is that it will affect you.

However, if you do show a genetic factor and you’re over 40 years old, you may consider changing to a different type of birth control method. There are a number of options that you can discuss with your doctor in order to keep the odds as low as possible[6].

5. Genetics.

The most common genetic factor increasing a woman’s risk of breast cancer is an inherited mutation in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. This gene’s purpose is normally to repair damaged DNA, but they sometimes mutate and cause abnormal cell growth. A woman with one of these mutated genes has a 70% chance of developing cancer by age 80.

Women with this mutation also have an increased risk of developing cancer younger and in both breasts. Some racial and ethnic groups are more susceptible than others, so it is worth your while to become informed about this dangerous inherited factor over which you have no control. There are also other genetic factors to consider, especially if you have a family history of breast cancer. Your doctor can advise you about any steps you may take for your own breast cancer prevention plan.

6. Self Examination.

Whatever your age, experts recommend you perform a self-examination of your breasts at least once a month. Up to 40% of cancer diagnoses have been made as a result of women identifying a lump or other abnormality through self-examination. Early detection greatly increases a successful treatment outcome.

Self-examination is not difficult. It can be performed in the shower or while lying in bed. There are a number of websites that give detailed instructions about what to do and expect[7]. Most women have some lumpy tissue in their breasts, and most lumps are not cancer.

7. Pay attention to warning signs.

It’s important not to ignore possible indicators that there may be a problem. If you observe any of the following changes, consult your doctor right away.

An area of hardening. If an area of your breast feels hard near the surface of the skin, have it checked out. Don’t just wait for it to go away.
Indentation. If an area of skin other than the nipple becomes indented or sunken in, call your doctor.
Erosion.If your breast develops an area of sore, eroding skin, it’s time to have it checked out.
Redness or heat.If any of the above are accompanied by redness or heat, or if it seems you suddenly have a sensitive, abrasion-like area, call your doctor.
Fluid other than milk. If you experience an unusual discharge, make an appointment for an exam.
Dimpling or ‘orange peel’ skin. You know it can’t be normal. Call the doctor.
Nipple retraction. Some women have normally retracted nipples, and that’s not a problem. But if this is not the norm for you, you should have unusual retracting checked out.
Unusual change in size or shape. If you begin to see a bump or notice a new asymmetry in your breast, get a professional exam.
Prominant veins. If you notice a blood vessel becoming more visible close to the surface of your breast, it may be worth getting it checked out.

Don’t put off having any unusual changes checked out by your doctor. The issue may not be cancer, but there may be other factors to be addressed. Procrastinating will not improve your chances for ongoing breast health or complete recovery from other issues.

8. Mammograms.

In recent years there has been a bit of controversy over when a woman should begin to have routine mammograms. The general consensus is that women who are of average risk should begin having yearly mammograms between 45-50 years of age. Those in higher risk groups may begin at a younger age, as their doctor recommends.

Some women choose to begin yearly screening at 40 years old. There is no reason not to if you feel it will give you peace of mind. Self-examination will often reveal potential issues if you prefer to wait until your older.

9. Survival rates are improving.

Ongoing improvements in breast cancer prevention are helping keep survival rates on the rise. Ninety percent of women now survive a cancer diagnosis. Early detection and treatment are key, so the importance of contacting your medical professional with any potential issues cannot be overstressed.

Protect your breast health as much as possible through education and proactive habits and lifestyle. Find out about your own risk factors so that you can make the best, informed decisions for your future health.

10. Reducing your risks.

Along with genetic screening and regular examination, there are a number of ways to reduce your chances of developing breast cancer. Women have unique nutritional and emotional needs, and allowing yourself to become run-down can contribute to all kinds of physical issues. Meeting the overall needs of your body can help maintain breast health as well.

Eating habits and various detox routines can also be a part of your breast cancer prevention plan. Regular exercise, stress reduction, and moderate alcohol consumption are some more health factors to be addressed. Developing healthy habits will keep you strong whatever may come.


If you are diagnosed with cancer, weigh your treatment options carefully. Talk to specialists, and make sure you have a strong support group to help you through each step back to total health.

Breast cancer is no longer the death sentence it once was. Awareness and prevention are major reasons women can now have hope for the future. Optimism continues to grow that this cancer, along with so many others, will no longer be the threat it has been to past generations. Stay informed, stay healthy, and live with an appreciation for the ones you love, one day at a time.

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Jim Carrey Explains 5 Ways to Make The Law of Attraction Work For You


If you haven’t heard of the Law of Attraction before, it basically states that “like attracts like.” In other words, the energy you put out into the universe must come back to you in some form. So, if you have angry, tense energy, you’ll probably find that relationships, jobs, and everything else in life resist you. On the opposite spectrum, having open, kind energy allows the universe to bring you situations that help further your growth and make you more fulfilled.

History of the Law of Attraction

“Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but to materialize.” – Unknown

While many people believe that the Law of Attraction stems from New Age theories, it actually dates to the early 19th century. A man named Phineas Quimby suffered from tuberculosis, and upon recovering, he began to study the concept of “mind over body.” Medical treatments for his condition didn’t work, so he believed that he cured himself of the disease through mental power alone.

While he never used the words “law of attraction,” he did write this in his book titled The Quimby Manuscripts:

“… the trouble is in the mind, for the body is only the house for the mind to dwell in, and we put a value on it according to its worth. Therefore if your mind has been deceived by some invisible enemy into a belief, you have put it into the form of a disease, with or without your knowledge. By my theory or truth, I come in contact with your enemy and restore you to your health and happiness. This I do partly mentally and partly by talking till I correct the wrong impressions and establish the Truth, and the Truth is the cure.”

However, the law of attraction really only became a popular concept around 1887. Prentice Mulford, a huge advocate for the New Thought movement, wrote an essay called “The Law of Success” in which he discussed the Law of Attraction extensively. Many thought leaders followed in his footsteps and wrote books about this newfound way of thinking. In 2006, the Law of Attraction really took off with the release of the film The Secret, which aimed to show the power of our thoughts and how we can shape them to get what we want in life.

So, how can you make the Law of Attraction (LOA) work in your life? It turns out that actor Jim Carrey believes in this concept, so we will go over some of his advice below.

Jim Carrey’s thoughts on the Law of Attraction:

While the Law of Attraction doesn’t have much science behind it yet, Dr. Srini Pillay, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, writes this about the LOA:

“Recent brain imaging studies are rapidly showing that the brain does in fact conform its function to the ‘Law of Attraction’…Anxious people make other people anxious, and fearful people make other people afraid. Similar principles apply to happiness and expected reward, when our brains will light up, centers that correspond to these emotional states in others (do as well)… ‘contagious actions,’ ‘contagious feelings,’ ‘intention-action’ connections and ‘attention-action’ connections all support the ‘law of attraction.”

Dr. Pillay concludes, “Underlying all of these ideas is the notion of connection – we are connected within and without …The depth of our feelings and actions is a critical variable in ‘attracting’ what we want to our lives.”

To break it down for you a bit, here’s what Jim Carrey has to say about LOA:

  1. “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.” – Jim Carrey

What does this mean, exactly? Well, if you think about it, everything in life requires work. We can’t just wish upon a star and hope that our dreams fall into our lap. We have to put in the effort to bring those dreams into reality.

You must take action toward your dreams, or else they’ll remain a distant desire. To bridge that gap between desire and reality, you must create actionable steps. Start off by creating small goals that will bring you closer to what you want, and then once you’ve gotten those out of the way, tackle the bigger goals.

No one builds an empire in one day; it takes hard work, dedication, and most of all, patience.

  1. “Our intention is everything. Nothing happens on this planet without it.” – Jim Carrey

Most people don’t even realize this since they live in a constant state of disconnection and apathy. However, we do have the power to create what we wish to see in life; we just need to reclaim that power. Society likes to put us in boxes and tear us down for the sake of controlling us; you might need to deprogram yourself from these limiting beliefs and teach yourself a new operating system, one of endless potential.

If you want something in life, put all your energy into manifesting it. Remain open to the possibilities that await you and start saying “yes” to life.” Once you remove any mental blockages, you’ll start seeing your dreams unfold before you.

  1. “You can ask the Universe for it.” – Jim Carrey

Most people don’t ever ask for what they want in life, but we all need some help achieving our dreams. Rely on the power of the universe and the people in your life for guidance and support. You must make your intentions firm and clear for the universe to hear you and grant your wishes. The universe doesn’t respond to weak energy; it requires a calm, yet assertive energy so it knows what to give you.

Don’t hesitate to speak aloud or write down what you want. How in the world can you receive it without first bringing the idea into existence?

  1. “As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the Universe know what you want, and working toward it, while letting go of how it comes to pass.” – Jim Carrey

Of course, nothing in life happens the way we want it to. It might take 15 years or six months for you to achieve your dreams, but either way, you won’t get to the mountaintop unless you keep on climbing. Many people give up on their dreams because they put too much emphasis on how their story unfolds instead of just going with the flow.

As long as you keep on working toward your dreams and take the necessary steps in the right direction, the universe will reward your persistence eventually. Everything good in life takes time; don’t give up just because you don’t see the finish line yet.

  1. “I believe in manifestation,” says Carrey. “I believe in putting a rocket of desire out into the Universe. And you get it when you believe it.”

If you don’t have the life you’ve envisioned for yourself, try to look a little deeper. Do you really believe in yourself and the life you want? Do you believe you can tackle any obstacles that stand in your way? A lot of the success of the Law of Attraction hinges on removing limiting beliefs.

It takes time and effort to reprogram your brain, but it can be done. Simply make the effort to utilize positive thinking, visualization, and mindfulness. You have to make your brain work for you instead of against you. You must get out of your comfort zone and take big steps to achieve your dreams.

Many people attract what they don’t want in life because they focus too much on the negatives instead of the positives. They don’t give themselves enough credit and remain stuck in life because they don’t empower themselves with self-love and positive thinking. Block out everything that no longer serves you and put 100% of your energy into manifesting your dreams. Remember: the universe responds to assertive energy, so believe that you’re worthy of living out your dreams and you’ll eventually reap the rewards.

Final thoughts

The Law of Attraction works based on energy: the energy that you emit comes back to you in one way or another. So, if you want a big, powerful life, you need to correct your own energy so that you can get into the right mindset to accept it.

Most people don’t even know that they could have the life of their dreams if they eliminated the self-imposed limitations they place on themselves.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

Keep that quote in mind when you write down your goals and start working toward achieving them. You can’t ever accept that dream life if you don’t first acknowledge that you deserve it. When you correct those limiting beliefs and truly accept your power, the doors will start opening and you will see that you had what you seek within you all along.

Reclaim your power and go boldly in the direction of your dreams!

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12 Ways To Be Happier (In Less Than 10 Minutes)


Being happy is arguably the most important aspect of living. Happiness means satisfaction in what you are doing and where you are in life. It means that most of your day is accompanied by happy feelings. It means that you aren’t bombarded with negative emotions on a regular basis. With that being said, are you actually happy?

TIME magazine has some insight to offer, explaining that “… only 33% of Americans surveyed said they were happy” (2017 Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness.) If being happy was a test in school, we would be earning a big whopping “F.”

As human beings, we are driven to succeed in everything we do. That to say, we do a poor job of succeeding in our own internal happiness – something that is right in our face every single moment that we live. Maybe it isn’t so much that we are failures or that we can’t do it, but rather that we don’t put in the effort to learn and achieve happiness.

Pointing out the utter lack of happiness across society is not very helpful; it is quite possibly even counterproductive. That to say, there is advice to offer. If you want to really learn what it takes to be happy, you should stick along for the ride.

So, without further ado, let’s get into the specifics of finding long term internal happiness. Because some of these suggestions may resonate with you more than others, focus on the ones that you think can make the most difference in your life.

Here are 12 ways to be happier

1. Develop Emotional Intelligence and Understanding

One of the most effective ways to be happier in life is to develop a deep understanding of emotional quotient (EQ). The EQ scale works similarly to the IQ (intelligence quotient) scale, although it focuses on your understanding of emotion, rather than academic-based intelligence. An in-depth comparison between IQ and EQ can be found at A high EQ is helpful because it allows you to understand why you feel the way that you do.

When you know exactly why you feel sad or why you feel happy, you are in a better position to eliminate the bad and increase the good by taking the steps to do so (which will be apparent if you know what causes those feelings). Every emotion that you have is rooted back to something else; it just takes some thinking to figure out what that root is. When it comes to improving your EQ, you can achieve this efficiently through means such as analyzing your daily emotions, learning mindfulness through meditation, or even developing empathy through reading novels.

2. Learn To Prioritize

Learning to prioritize in life is another effective way to be happier. Life is about priority in every aspect, yet most of us fall short of prioritizing in a productive way. Priority is the idea of deciding what things are the most important to you and acting on them. For example, someone on a diet would say that their number one priority is to lose weight through eating healthy. Lack of priority arises when they choose a delicious meal that tastes good over a healthy meal that follows their diet. Prioritizing is one of the essential ways to be happier, but it also takes a lot of discipline, which brings us to our next point.

3. Stay Disciplined

If you want to be happier in life, you need to put a lot of effort into staying disciplined. While it may be true that some people don’t know where to start as far as improving their lives, most of us have an idea of how we can accomplish this. You might want to wake up early tomorrow, eat a healthy breakfast, get physical activity, have a productive day, spend time with family and friends, and get 8 hours of sleep at night. This sounds like a good day, but it also sounds like a lot of effort.

Wouldn’t it be easier to sleep in, worry about the gym the next day, and merely survive the day at work? It would certainly be easier, but you can probably see which option is disciplined and likely to promote a positive day.

4. Force Yourself to Focus on the Good

Focusing is a huge part of life, happiness included. Learning that you are in control of your focus is a useful tip that can help you be happier. Unless you are someone suffering from ADD or ADHD, which often results in an uncontrolled lack of focus, then you are technically in control of your focus at all times. That said, you are also in control of focusing on the good rather than the bad. It may take some effort but if you really want to help yourself be happier, the effort is well worth it. Remember, the glass is always half full, because why not? It really only hurts you to be negative.

5. Detach from What is Causing Unhappiness

Another one of the best ways to be happier is to detach from the stimuli in your life causing you unhappiness. Some triggers of your unhappiness may be out of your control, but most of them are not. This may be a bad habit which you partake in, a negative outlook on life, or even specific people causing you constant distress. If you want to be happier, run away from these people, habits, or ideas. When it comes to people, it can be difficult to cut them out of your life, but has a great article to help you out if need be.

6. Manage Money

According to The American Institute of Stress, money is one of the major causes of distress in life. Considering that you need it for everything from water to a home, this is quite understandable. Now don’t take this the wrong way, this doesn’t imply that money will make you happy – because it certainly will not. However, dealing with the money you have in a healthier way can help you to be happier. It will eliminate the distress that results from poor money management. Check out these 3 behaviors on that are considered to be bad money management skills.

7. Learn to Delay Rewards

This plays heavily into having discipline. As such, it is another one of the best ways to be happier in no time. Delayed gratification essentially refers to delaying a smaller, short-term reward now for a bigger reward later. Bringing the diet example into play again, one should delay the reward of yummy food for the later reward of lost weight.

8. Catch Yourself Before it is Too Late

Whether this is your stress level or your outlook on life, try to catch yourself before it is too late. Stress and negativity build up in your system. The higher the levels get, the harder they are to bring down. Catch yourself as quickly as you notice yourself heading in the wrong direction; it will then be much easier to take control.

9. Socialize and Maintain Relationships

Relationships with other human beings are a necessary part of being happy. Most of us have experienced the feeling of loneliness or social exclusion, and this is certainly not an enjoyable emotion. Develop meaningful relationships that are more than just small talk at lunch once a week. This will take effort on both your part and theirs, but if you show that you are willing to do so then they should follow suit. Check out these 35 amazing ways that you can improve your relationships, and give them a (serious) try.

10. Take Care of Your Temple

Taking care of your body absolutely essential if you want to be happy. This is pretty obvious, but the fact that “More than 1 in 3 adults were considered to be overweight” in 2013-2014 doesn’t suggest that we are very good at doing so. Exercise and develop a maintained diet. Make sure to take care of your mental health too, as you are learning about in this article.

11. Decide on Your Core Values

It is your job to decide what has meaning to you and what does not. This isn’t a grey topic so to speak, but rather black and white with a fine line separating the things you value from those that you do not. When you find value in what you are doing, you will live a purpose-driven life, which you can learn more about at

12. Understand Your True Self

Understanding your true self is another one of the easiest ways to be happier quickly. To put a long story short, the real you is you without any distress in your life. Any time you are stressed out or anxious or upset, you are experiencing emotions that are a direct result of negative external stimuli. Take a second to analyze your characteristics when you are totally relaxed with nothing bothering you and nothing impeding your thoughts. This is the genuine you; remember this and look back to this version of yourself next time you feel distress.

Final Thoughts

Before you leave and start living your happy life, let’s make a few things clear. Everyone finds happiness in a different way. If anything from this piece speaks to you, make sure this idea is one that has fully resonated through your mind. There isn’t one single principle of living that promotes happiness. If you want to know how many different variations there really are, click here to check the current world population.

What does this mean? It means that finding happiness is 100% personalized to you and you only. If you found the happiest person in the world and followed them every single day, replicating their every move, you would not even be close to finding happiness. While minor similarities may arise, everyone’s version of happiness is totally different from your own. This article was intended to help you find what works for you, so that you can integrate a set of principles into your life that will ultimately promote your happiness. Hopefully, you can wake up every morning and be happier than you were the day before and keep this trend going for the rest of your life.

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How to Prevent Hair Color Change


Keeping your colored hair looking vibrant and beautiful is a real struggle. Over time, most women who dye their hair see its life and gloss fade away and that’s a real bummer!

I mean, what’s the point of getting your hair treated if its just going to lose all its luster in a few weeks?

Thankfully, the Born Realist team has been hard at work trying to figure out why this happens, but most importantly how to prevent it!

We’ve decided on a few full proof ways to keep your hair lively without using hair toners.

1) Have your hairdresser use only Quality Products and Dye in your hair:

Getting your hair dyed can be an expensive procedure! Hence, most women prefer hair stylists who offer cheap discounts.

However, the cut-down prices these parlors offer are usually because they use inexpensive products which, are not just harmful to your hair color, but lead it to lose its luster faster then it should.

Make sure to use a high-quality product in your hair, it’ll keep your hair looking pretty!

2) Red hair dye will fade the fastest:

Red hair dye has the largest molecules and hence, it is harder for the dye to dissipate into your hair. This is why it gets washed away faster.

While getting a red hair treatment, make sure to use high-quality products and give it a heavier hue then you need so it settles into the color you want over a few weeks and lasts longer.

3) Hold back on the Shampooing:

Don’t shampoo your colored hair every day. In fact, it is recommended that you should only shampoo thrice every week. Pick alternative days and be gentle as you wash your hair. Make sure to use color-friendly hair shampoo.

This will help maintain the oils that keep your hair looking glossy and will help retain the color.

4) Hold back on Shampooing for at-least 48 hours after you color/toner your hair:

After you color your hair, don’t wash it for a minimum of 2 days. This will allow the dye to soak into your hair and will enable it to last longer. This is actually good when it comes to getting your hair trimmed according to new trends.

5) When you aren’t Shampooing, keep your hair:

Make sure you wear a hair net in the shower. This will allow the color to last longer. The water that goes through your hair allows the molecules of dye to detach from your hair and fall away. Keeping them dry as long as possible will make the color last a lot longer.

P.s This one is actually a much better solution than using any kind of hair toners.

6) Don’t shower with extremely hot water:

Turn down the temperature of your shower when you wash your hair. The hot water will wash away the color from your treated hair faster. This is because hot water makes it easy for the molecules of the dye adhering to your hair to slip away from your hair, this results in the lack of luster you experience in a few weeks time.

7) Always use Color Friendly Conditioner:

Never skip your color friendly conditioner when you shampoo, and if you can, try using your conditioner only during your showers from time to time.

Keeping your hair moisturized is an important part of keeping the color you’ve come out the parlor with.

Not to mention, color friendly conditioners contain special chemicals that allow the color to last longer than it initially would have without the conditioner.

8) Use Sulfates free shampoo or a good hair toner:

Sulfates are a big no for colored hair. The sulfates in shampoos are usually responsible for the bleached and lifeless look that people experience a few weeks after getting their hair dyed.

You can avoid this by making sure you use the most color friendly shampoo you can find. Try to use conditioner and shampoos that are recommended by your hair stylist. They have more experience then you do!

9) Try a hot oil treatment at home:

Hot oil treatments, that involve leaving on hot oils help in keeping the sheen that most people want in their hair, last longer.

Hair oil treatments also take care of hair after the intense and rigorous treatments that it has to go through after the dye.

Check out: Unbelievable Story of Shakira’s Rise

The post How to Prevent Hair Color Change appeared first on Born Realist.

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11 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Emotionally Numb


Emotional numbness normally occurs as a coping mechanism, or a way of blocking out painful experiences or emotions. The following disorders and conditions can cause someone to become emotionally numb:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • PTSD
  • stress
  • grief
  • drug abuse
  • trauma

If you feel emotionally numb, you’ve likely been through a lot in life. Your mind needs a break, and as a result, you start to switch off both negative and positive emotions. You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with feeling happy?” Well, we can’t feel joy without experiencing pain, so a person who doesn’t feel emotions would rather not go on that rollercoaster ride anymore.

A person who dissociates from themselves and their emotions often feel that life seems a lot easier when emotions don’t get in the way. Of course, it feels great when you make it into the clouds; falling back down into that dark abyss over and over again can easily break the spirit, however.

Feeling emotionally numb doesn’t usually just happen; it’s a slow process that causes a person to slowly remove themselves from life. It doesn’t happen by choice, either; a person who feels nothing once felt everything so deeply, but the pain of this destroyed them. So, their brains responded by shutting off their emotions in order to deal with the trauma.

If this sounds familiar, or like someone you know, read on to find out more about what they might be going through.

Here are 11 behaviors that show someone is emotionally numb:

As we move through this list, keep in mind that detaching from your emotions in certain situations doesn’t necessarily point to a problem. For example, if you need to assert boundaries, assist in an emergency situation, or remove yourself from a toxic conversation or environment, feeling emotionally numb can actually prove beneficial. It becomes a problem when the numbness takes over your whole life and mind, keeping you from feeling joy at all.

  1. They isolate themselves.

For a person who feels emotionally numb, socializing and going to events won’t bring them happiness. They don’t see much of a point in trying to connect with others when they don’t even feel connected to themselves. So, instead of using all that energy to make friends or attend events, they’d rather sit at home and play games, watch TV, or engage in other relatively mindless activities.

A person who dissociates from themselves and life may find “normal” activities overstimulating; they prefer to spend most of their time at home, away from overpowering stimuli.

  1. A person who feels emotionally numb will have trouble expressing emotions.

In conversation, they may appear dull and bored. They won’t seem happy or sad, just neutral. Additionally, they might not talk much and won’t engage with you unless you go and talk to them first. They may respond with one-word answers and will appear hard to read. They don’t do all of this on purpose or to be rude, of course; it’s just a natural defense mechanism.

  1. They will appear almost lifeless.

They won’t show much interest in anything unless they really have a passion for it. Most of the time, they’ll seem almost robotic in nature, going through the motions of life and just trying to stay afloat. At some level, all of us experience this. In someone who is emotionally numb, however, this becomes their operating system. They don’t know how to express emotion without feeling overwhelmed, so they just do what needs to get done in order to survive.

  1. It might seem like they’re on a whole different planet.

People with dissociative symptoms might seem like they’re not even present. Their eyes might have lost their twinkle, their smile may appear forced, and overall, they just don’t seem “all there.” Reality can get painful, so they try to remove themselves from it. Thus, they don’t have to deal with the suffering.

Psychotherapist Imi Lo says, “Though it sounds paradoxical at first, many emotionally intense and sensitive people struggle with ‘emotional numbness,’ a kind of internal deadness or emptiness that permeates their whole being and strips them of the joy and fullness that life has to offer.”

Like most of our coping mechanisms in life, detaching ourselves from a situation or event that causes pain helps us survive. Everything we do, essentially, aims to preserve our life and shield us from threats. So, it doesn’t come as a surprise that disconnecting from our environment might help save our life or keep us sane in times of extreme stress.

  1. They might talk in a monotone way.

Because of their inability to feel extreme emotions, people who feel emotionally numb might appear robotic in conversation. They don’t get much enjoyment out of life for whatever reason, so they won’t get too excited about everyday topics of conversation. Of course, if you bring up something they feel passionate about, you might see them become a bit more animated than usual.

  1. They might share that they feel like a passive observer in their life.

If you really get to know someone who feels emotionally numb, they might share with you that they feel disengaged in life, like they are watching a movie of themselves. Despite their best efforts to participate, they just feel that they can’t get in on the action. They feel stuck in a perpetual out-of-body experience and don’t know how to connect to their body and feelings.

  1. Someone who feels emotionally numb may feel that life is just a dream.

Expanding on the last point, someone who feels disconnected from themselves may not even feel real. In other words, they may feel like a puppet on a string being pulled in different directions by an invisible force. They may feel that they have no control over their lives, so their solution is to not get too caught up in what happens. Everything feels fake and foreign to them, as if they came here from some other planet or world.

  1. They won’t show interest in many activities.

You get the gist by now; they don’t feel much in life, so activities won’t pique their interest most of the time. Those who are emotionally numb may do things just to pass the time, such as watch shows or play video games, but they might not actually enjoy these activities. They are just fillers for them.

  1. They might feel that everything (including themselves) is pointless.

People that feel emotionally numb may have a nihilistic view of the world. They don’t believe life has meaning, so why give it meaning? They don’t feel that they have any purpose in being here, so why get caught up in the drama of being human? The world doesn’t make sense to them, and they’ve stopped trying to understand it a long time ago.

  1. An emotionally detached person won’t show strong emotions in intense situations.

Because they have disconnected from their emotions, they may not even show much concern in a situation that warrants a strong response. For example, in a crisis or emergency, they might appear stoic and calm while everyone else freaks out. This does have its advantages, but stuffing emotions down can lead to a blowup later. However, in a crisis, remaining collected and level-headed could actually allow the person to provide better help to those in need.

  1. If they ever do feel anything, they won’t know how to control their emotions.

If they finally do allow their emotions to surface, the intensity will rise very quickly. In a person who feels emotionally numb, they usually only feel something if they’ve allowed their emotions to build up for too long and something sets them off. A stressor such as a breakup, divorce, death in the family, loss of employment, or health crisis could spark intense emotions.

Because they never feel anything, they don’t have much practice in handling their emotions healthily, so their feelings might get the best of them.

Final thoughts

Feeling emotionally numb does have its advantages (evolutionarily speaking), but in the modern world, cutting oneself off from any feelings can cause isolation and depersonalization. No one should cling to their identity or emotions for comfort, of course, but the answer lies in balance. You don’t want to let your feelings take control of you, but you also don’t want to shut yourself off from sadness (and therefore, happiness.)

If you find yourself feeling disconnected and numb in life, seek the counsel of friends, family, or a licensed therapist. They can help you find ways to connect to yourself again and reclaim your joy in life. No one should have to move through life on autopilot; while this can protect you from painful experiences, it also shields you from people and things that can bring out the light in you.

We leave you with thoughts from Quora user Scarlett Trillia: “Be vigilant, be gentle with yourself, and don’t forget that knowing darkness is the only way to deeply appreciate the light once you’ve found it.”

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7 Habits Soul Mates Have In Common


Many people dream of meeting their soul mate, but it’s much easier said than done. That’s why so many people don’t believe in the idea of soul mates. Many believe it’s just a far-fetched fantasy and that there’s no such thing.

The truth is that soul mates do exist. They’re not as fancy or glorified as people make them out to be, but finding “the one” is completely possible. These are people who complement you, who you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, and who treat you right – all while you do the same for them.

So let’s say you’re in a good relationship. How do you know that person truly is the one? How do you know you aren’t just caught up in the love bug and don’t realize you might not be entirely right for each other? What if you’re with your soul mate and just aren’t aware of it?

The good news is that there are signs that suggest your partner is more than just another romantic interest. There are ways true “twin flames” behave around each other that indicate their relationship runs deeper than the typical partnership. Here are some habits soul mates have in common.

Here Are 7 Habits Soul Mates Have In Common

1. They Respect Each Other’s Differences But Are Similar Where It Counts

A soul mate isn’t meant to be the other half to your whole. You’re meant to be two unique, individual people. This means that there are going to be some different opinions.

Instead of trying to change each other to be more like them, soul mates respect each other’s differences. Tolerating differences and accepting them is crucial to a true partnership, and it avoids many potentially bad arguments. You love each other for your differences, not in spite of them.

At the same time, soul mates will have similar values and traits where it matters, according to David Klow, who is an author and licensed family therapist. Most people have a list of non-negotiable things they desire in a partner. Some examples of reasonable non-negotiables that someone might have are:

  • Doesn’t smoke, drink, or do drugs
  • Wants children
  • Is for/against (insert political or social movement)
  • Has a good career plan

Choosing a life partner is an important task, so it makes sense that someone has some deal-breakers and makers. Soul mates meet each other’s “requirements” and don’t need to change themselves to fit them. This is a true sign of compatibility that isn’t forced and bodes well for the future.

2. Their Communication Is On Point

Positive communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and soul mates have this skill down pat. When they have concerns or disagreements, they know how to talk it out in a productive and efficient way. They don’t use unhealthy, emotionally twisting tactics, and they rarely bother dropping hints – they are straightforward and direct so everyone is on the same page.

This also means that both parties in the relationship are happy to listen to their partner, even about things they don’t necessarily understand or agree with. Their ears are open and they make their partner feel heard and valued because they truly want to know what that partner has to say.

  • Soul mates who communicate well also never have trouble starting conversations with each other.
  • They talk about anything and everything, listen to each other’s stories about their days, and are not afraid to bring up any topic.
  • At the same time, they understand the value of quietly hanging out together and enjoy many comfortable moments of silence!

3. They Just “Get” Each Other

Couples can have an intuitive bond that allows them to know each other extremely well. This is very true for soul mates, and sometimes you might feel that yours knows you better than you know yourself.

As an example, your partner may know that a particular facial expression means you want to leave a party. They might know you’re having a bad day based on the movie you put on or the food you’re eating. They may be able to predict your reactions and even list out a number of unconscious habits you display – including ones you might not be aware of!

But it’s not just about recognizing quirky habits. It’s also about being able to pick up on your partner’s emotions. You might intuitively know when your partner is feeling down, needs comforting, or needs some quiet alone time. You’re able to step in to help when needed, and they’re able to do the same for you.

You might also just really feel like your soul mate understands you. They just get you, and it’s a wonderful feeling in a relationship.

4. They Talk About Their Futures

A soul mate is in itfor the long haul. They will have no trouble discussing their future plans, and you’ll always be a part of their visions of their upcoming days. Someone who isn’t happy discussing the future likely doesn’t see themselves in yours, or you in theirs.

Soul mates will also likely find it easy to talk about difficult subjects regarding the future. They’re not afraid to discuss career goals, location possibilities, and building a family. They discuss fears and compromises, talk about contingency plans or game plans for troubling times, and are able to responsibly and maturely plan for a shared future.

Another reason this is important is that it indicates a mature relationship. It shows that, even if thinking about the future seems daunting, you are willing to discuss it and form some sort of plan. It means that both parties have ambition and goals, signifying their responsibility and mental maturity – something very important in any partnership.

  • You don’t have to build vision boards and exchange them.
  • All you have to do is be on the general same page when it comes to what direction your lives are going.
  • Most importantly, you know that no matter where life takes you, you’re both in it together.
  • That’s the kind of positive thinking that keeps a couple together!

5. They’re Comfortable Around Each Other

People make jokes about how you know the romance has died if you’re so comfortable around each other when using the bathroom, lying around looking like a mess, or wearing your worst, ugliest clothes. But that doesn’t really mean the romance has died; it means that you’re comfortable with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing!

Think about it. If you can see each other at your absolute worst and still find the other person attractive and be more in love than ever, you’ve met your soul mate. Of course, some people take more time to feel comfortable than others, so don’t feel pressured to adapt too quickly. But this comfort is a big sign of intimacy – and it’s one of the many habits soul mates have in common.

This also means that soul mates are at peace being entirely themselves around each other. They don’t worry that being their true selves will make the other person love them less. They can be honest and open and hide nothing from the other. That’s what happens when two people truly become one family – or, more accurately, when two people realize they perfectly complement each other.

6. They Approach Problems As A Team

Life is always going to have speed bumps. Hurdles will surely appear in the road ahead, no matter if you’re single or in a relationship. But knowing how to handle those hurdles makes all the difference.

When you and a soul mate fight, you recognize that there are ways to do so in a constructive way. You communicate your feelings effectively, refrain from personal attacks, and practice positive thinking. You recognize that it’s not one partner versus the other, it’s the relationship versus the problem.

The same goes for non-fight problems, such as losing a job, having issues with money, facing a natural disaster, or getting along poorly with a partner’s family member. Soul mates team up and challenge these struggles together, and they often emerge even stronger from them.

Even with individual struggles, such as personal problems, a soul mate is there to support you and you are there to support them. Those who aren’t soul mates may turn on each other, toss around blame, or become reserved and distant. Soul mates realize that there’s no one they’d rather have by their side through difficult times than their other half, and it’s a beautiful habit to behold.

7. They Are Best Friends Who Respect Each Other

Above all else, soul mates don’t just love each other – they like each other. Their respect for each other runs deep, and they’re more than just romantic partners. They’re also the best of friends. After all, friendship is an incredibly strong foundation for longevity in a relationship. And what is it that best friends do? They respect one another.

The positive strength of friendship is what you need to outlast bad times and thrive during good times. It’s what you need to accept each other, love each other, and challenge each other to be better people without forcing the other person to change who they are. You share a sense of humor, you get along all the time, and you love just hanging out and chatting.

  • This also means you’re not shutting out the rest of the world to be with a soul mate only.
  • You have your own friendships and have your own life outside of the relationship, and they do too.
  • Just because you like spending time with each other the most doesn’t mean you don’t have separate interests and social circles!
  • You’re your own unique people, and you love that about each other.

Final Thoughts On Habits Soul Mates Have In Common

Have you met your soul mate? Do you and your current partner share these 7 habits soul mates have in common? Finding your perfect match isn’t easy, but when you do, everything falls into place and you realize that you want to be with that person forever.

If you haven’t met your soul mate yet, don’t sweat it. Love isn’t something that can be rushed, and you can be rest assured that it will come just when the time is right – mark our words!

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The 5 Most Important Traits You’ll Need to Attract Your Soulmate


The love of your life is waiting for you, but how will you find them? While you may think Tinder-ing your life away will bring your significant other your way, the truth is actually a bit more complex. In order for the universe to send your significant other to you, you must attract them.

Traits to Attract Your Soulmate

While you may think that “attracting” someone will require you to focus on your physical appearance, the reality is that you actually must look inwards. The following five traits will help you attract the love of your life:

1. Be Intentional

While you can’t conjure up a soulmate out of thin air, there is something to be said about being intentional in your pursuit of a soulmate.

Attracting a soulmate is as much about what you want from them as it is figuring out what you want from yourself. While we all get lonely in life, that cannot be the only reason that you want to fall in love.

If you truly hope to manifest your soulmate, you must first discover the true intentions behind your journey for love.

The type of person that you attract is directly correlated to the intentions that you set. If you set out to find someone to share a life with, you’re already on the right track to finding your ideal partner.

How to Become Intentional

Once your intentions are set, the challenge becomes figuring out how to translate them into your actual dating habits. Consider the following tips whether you are actively dating or waiting to meet “the One”:

  • Establish Your Purpose: If you’re looking for your life partner, it’s important that you are dating with this purpose in mind. Rather than creating an atmosphere of just “hanging out” or “testing the waters”, make it clear to the other person that you’re searching for something that will last a lifetime.
  • Be Clear: In relationships, it’s important that both people are on the same page. Even if you’ve just started showing interest in someone, it’s important to be clear about everything. While you needn’t lay all your cards on the table on the first date, don’t hide anything either. Eliminate the potential for confusion and focus on always communicating clearly.

2. Love Yourself

You’re looking for love but have you first looked inward? The search for your soulmate must start with the search for true love within yourself.

Our entire lives are really a journey to understand and accept ourselves fully and completely. We all have our own faults and strengths and we must learn to love both in order to evolve into the best version of ourselves.

Without this type of love, we will never be able to truly love anyone else, as we won’t understand how we deserve to be loved.

If you’re setting out to attract your soulmate, start by reflecting on how you can do better to love yourself. Look inside and see if there are any issues from your past that are still affecting your present so that you can work on them while waiting to meet the One.

Learning to Love Yourself

We never stop learning how to love ourselves. The more we get to know and love ourselves, the better prepared we will be to give and receive love. Practice self-love with these tips:

  • Start the Day with Affirmations: Don’t let the day start without you telling yourself how worthy you are. Spend your first morning minutes breathing in love. Focus on meditating on how incredible you are and how deserving you are of love.
  • Focus on Positivity: Fostering a sense of self-love is all about focusing on the positives in life. While you shouldn’t force yourself to be happy all the time, train your mind to think positive thoughts by catching yourself whenever something negative enters your mind.While this transformation won’t happen overnight, every step will help shift your thinking.
  • Focus on Personal Development: Always be willing to grow. Dedicating yourself to constant improvement is an important act of self-love. While none of us are perfect or will ever become perfect, we can always become better.

3. Prioritize Gratitude

Gratitude is a trait that is often overlooked these days. However, gratitude is essential if you hope to attract your soulmate.

Focusing on all the positive blessings in your life will help you feel fulfilled and complete even prior to finding your soulmate. This will help shape your positive outlook on life, ensuring that you keep attracting more positivity into your life.

Moreover, as you practice being grateful for what you already have, make a point to be thankful for what has yet to come.

Think about all the qualities that you want in a partner and start expressing gratitude for what will happen in your future. Whether it is tomorrow or it is later on down the road, this type of gratitude is an example of the law of attraction at work.

Learning How to Express Gratitude

Gratitude isn’t confined to the thank you’s we give to people after they’ve done something for us. True gratitude comes from understanding how beautiful it is to simply exist. Consider the following tips to learn how to better express gratitude:

  • Appreciate All the Little Things: It’s easy to complain about everything that goes wrong in our daily lives. However, making a habit of having gratitude will allow you to see that the universe is conspiring to give you good things in life. One of which will ultimately be the love of your life.
  • Write in a Gratitude Journal: As you meditate on all of the positives in your life, don’t forget to write these things down. This will help you remember all of these blessings, whether they’re big or small.
  • Volunteer Your Time: One way to express more gratitude in life is to give back more often. Volunteering your time in order to help others will increase your well-being and ultimately improve your capacity to experience gratitude.

4. Visualize to Attract Your Soulmate

The best is yet to come and if you really believe that, you’ll live life like this statement is absolutely true. By visualizing your desires, you will manifest their existence into your reality.

As you attempt to attract your soulmate, you must visualize them. When you firmly believe and actively imagine this meeting taking place, you are setting yourself up to meet the love of your life.

While there is no way to know when this meeting will take place, you agreeing to visualize this reality already proves that you KNOW it will happen one day and when it does, you’ll be ready.

Tips for Visualizing

Finding true love through visualization isn’t only possible, it’s essential when trying to find your soulmate. Try these exercises as you work to strengthen your visualization skills:

  • Write Down Your Future Partner’s Ideal Attributes: Specificity is needed when working to attract your significant other. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, the universe won’t know what desires to answer.After you meditate on all of these attributes, destroy the list that you’ve written. Just as it is important to know what you want, it is also necessary for you to relinquish control.
  • Make Daily Steps Towards Your Goal: Visualization is as much about speaking your desire into existence as it is about making it happen. Do one thing each day that will bring your dream into reality.Whether that is practicing self-love or being open to the possibility of meeting new people, readying yourself to meet the love of your life will help you to prepare for when it does happen.
  • Keep Going: Being lonely isn’t a pleasant feeling. Instead of obsessing over these feelings, think about how this time is shaping you to better appreciate your future love when you do meet them.

5. Have Patience

Ever heard that the minute you stop looking for something you’ll find it? In the case of you and your true love, this statement couldn’t be truer.

You can hope to meet the One all you want, but if you aren’t ready to receive this love, you’ll never be able to make the love last.

Give the universe a chance by giving up all your anxious efforts to try to force a relationship to work.

Live your life to the fullest and be open to the possibility that love is all around you. One day, in the right moment, you’ll find what you’ve been looking for all along.

How to Trust the Universe

Trusting that the love of your life will one day come to you can take on many forms. If you’re ready to practice more patience with your love life, keep reading:

  • Stop Trying So Hard: Are you a regular on the most popular dating apps? Do you look at every new person you meet as a potential partner? While you may have good intentions, this type of mentality makes it difficult for real love to find you.Take a step back and focus on learning to be content with yourself. Once the time is right, the universe will send your true love to you.
  • Stay Focused: Hooking up with random people can be fun, but it can also be distracting. If your end goal is to fall in love with the One, now is not the time to become preoccupied with serial dating or one night stands.

Final Thought on Attracting The One

The One will find you when the time is right. As you work to attract the right person, focus on falling in love with yourself and your life.

Keep these five traits in mind as you grow in your understanding of what love is and what it looks like in your life. Whatever may happen in life, always keep the faith!

The post The 5 Most Important Traits You’ll Need to Attract Your Soulmate appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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These Illustrations Show What True Love Looks Like Behind The Scenes


Illustrator and painter Yaoyao Ma Van As uses personal experiences to create works of art that evoke deep emotions about true love and romance. If you have ever been in love with someone, you will definitely relate to her beautiful artwork and illustrations.

Below, we’ll show you some of her best works that will have you swooning over your significant other all over again.

These illustrations show what true love really looks like:

“True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.” – Ricardo Montalban

1. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

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Anyone in a long distance relationship or who has been apart from their lover for a while can relate to this image of true love.

2. “Breakfast-dinner date”

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Sometimes dinner (or breakfast) means eating in front of a webcam together while talking about your day. It’s the little things.

3. “You play and I’ll sing”

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How romantic is this gesture of true love?!

4. “Valentine’s Day every day”

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5. What’s better than Chinese food and stargazing with the one you love?

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6. “Heard someone could use some soup!”

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There’s nothing like food delivery from your true love. Forget Favor or Waitr!

7. Love happens when we least expect it and could be right in front of us all along.

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8. Sometimes your true love is just a couple cubicles away.

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9. “Surprise kiss”

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Everyone needs a break from work, and a kiss certainly tops the list of welcome distractions.

10. “Lazy Sunday morning”

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Can we all agree that the best feeling in the world is cuddling up with your favorite person and forgetting about everything else for a while?

We hope you enjoyed these illustrations! If you can relate to them, please share with friends, family, or your significant other.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The post These Illustrations Show What True Love Looks Like Behind The Scenes appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.

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