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Lifestyle

20 Real People Who Never Gave Up And Made Their Dreams Come True

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“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.” – T.E. Lawrence

Do you have a dream gnawing at you because you keep trying to stuff it down, but it just won’t go away? Most of us probably do, but our responsibilities and daily lives keep us from acting on them. However, some of us take the plunge anyway in hopes that, by following our hearts, we can finally come alive.

If you’ve been on the fence about following your dreams, let the stories of these everyday people serve as your inspiration. Let them remind you that anyone can achieve their dreams if they put their mind to it!

Here are 20 people who never gave up and turned their dreams into reality:

1. Even when you’re at your lowest, someone could come into your life and change it for the better. Beautiful story!

Yesterday I married this beautiful woman. After years of PTSD, crippling anxiety and depression I can finally say I am the happiest I have ever been. She sees the beauty in every little thing around her and it is by her example that I have learned to truly love life. from happy

2. No matter what you’re going through, if you keep your eyes on your dreams, you can make it.

After years of struggling to get out of bed with pain from endometriosis and RA, this morning I walked 4K of the Great Wall from happy

3. Can you imagine being in that situation? What a strong woman to go through that and come out on top!

I’ve erased 100 titles by now because nothing can explain how happy I am. Four years of trying to figure out how to be an utterly single mom, homelessness, and living in my car, we finally moved into a real home. Obligatory floor pizza on the first night from happy

4. Earning a Master’s Degree is no easy feat, so congratulations, Ma’am!

After many long years in school- my Master’s diploma came. I am so happy and proud of myself. from happy

5. Buying a house in 2019 isn’t cheap, so this is a huge accomplishment!

Hey, Reddit! I bought my first house today! from pics

6. Man’s best friend is literally the best birthday present ever. So awesome!

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 15. Since bringing Mia into my life just one week ago, I’ve felt more happiness and peace than I ever thought possible. With her by my side, I know 26 will be my best year yet. from happy

7. Only the bravest among us could even think of jumping out of a plane. Kudos to you, Sir!

Just completed my certification to become a class A Skydiver! Here’s a shot from my grad jump. from pics

8. Working two jobs isn’t easy, but it definitely beats being unemployed. What a heartwarming story!

After nearly 2 months of being unemployed, horrible depression, and eating nothing but rice and beans for the past two weeks I now have 2 jobs. One as a Bartender and another as a Pita Maker. I am not only very happy, but extremely grateful. from happy

9. What an adorable little man! He’s clearly so happy that his dad adopted him.

Our adoption was finalized today! I’m “officially” a dad! from daddit

10. This couple certainly deserved their very own backyard paradise!

In their 34 years of marriage, my parents worked multiple jobs to support our family. Every summer they would fill a small, round, inflatable pool with water from the garden hose for us kids. Yesterday they had their first swim in their very own pool! from MadeMeSmile

11. Sometimes, the darkest times in your life reveal your greatest strengths.

I’m holding my new album CD for the first time. I wrote this album while going through depression, and I couldn’t be happier to still be alive and experience this ??? from happy

12. To all the Harry Potter fans out there teeming with jealousy, we hear you.

My dad loves legos so for his 50th Birthday we got him the Hogwarts Castle. He’s so happy. from pics

13. How inspiring! That’s a really great time, too!

I ran my first race today! It was a 6.5km and I did it in 44:27! I trained for two months (and lost nearly three clothes sizes), having never been a runner before. I’m so dang proud of myself! from happy

14. Mental illnesses are hard to overcome, and this is definitely a step in the right direction.

Today for the first time in my Anorexia recovery being told “I look healthy” made me happy not guilty! Yay for good mental shifts! from happy

15. This is an important stepping stone on the path to making her dreams come true!

My Daughter Won a welding skills fest today. Best Valentine’s Day gift ever!! from pics

16. You’re never too old to play around with your hair color!

Grandma always wanted to dye her hair, finally happened from MadeMeSmile

17. Hard work pays off, so never give up on your dreams!

I’ve lost a lot of weight and can finally see it when I look in the mirror, this is the first time in months I’ve dressed up and felt genuinly decent looking from happy

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18. It’s awesome how this dad has the support of his family as well. Way to go!

I’ve never seen my dad go a whole day without a drink, until this year. 27 days sober and counting! from MadeMeSmile

19. Creative endeavors take a ton of willpower and effort to see through; congrats to this Reddit user!

I have finished photographing the final recipe for my first cookbook! I’m a self taught photographer and home cook and I’ve been working nights and weekends developing over 100 recipes over 4 months. I’m soon going to be a published author and I’m so freaking proud. from happy

20. This is a beautiful moment captured on camera. If you go after your dreams with all your heart, they CAN come true!

Gabriel Nobre, 19, with his mom and sister right after he found out he’d passed Brazil’s famously difficult university entrance exam. The young man had cut a deal with a prep course to clean the building in exchange for free classes to help him prepare for the exam. from MadeMeSmile

Dreams seem impossible to achieve at times, but many people have started from the bottom and climbed their way up the ladder to their dream life. Just remember that anything you can conceive, you can achieve. It takes a lot to get there, but with time and perseverance, you can do it!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The post 20 Real People Who Never Gave Up And Made Their Dreams Come True appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

The #1 Reason You Can’t Find True Love (And How to Fix It)

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We all dream of the day that we meet our true love. Whether it’s off of a dating app or through a chance meeting at a favorite coffee spot, falling in love with our soulmate is something that all of us hope to achieve sooner rather than later.

But sometimes, it feels that it will never happen. If you’re wondering why you never seem to find the right partner, the answer is closer than you think.

Finding True Love

The #1 reason you can’t find true love is that you don’t yet love yourself.

While self-love can look differently for many people, it is something that so many of us are missing, perhaps because we have never been taught how to love ourselves.

If you’ve yet to find the greatest love of all, we’ve got the answers for you.
Though self-love is a journey, regardless of where you are in yours, we can all make steps to fall more in love with ourselves. Keep reading to learn how to find true love within yourself.

1. Recognize Your Accomplishments

Life passes us by so quickly that we spend most of our lives planning and worrying about the future and doing all that we can to ensure our goals are met. However, this type of mindset leaves little room for celebrating ourselves and our accomplishments.

A key part of transforming your mindset to one of self-love is learning to take pride in your accomplishments. Regardless of how productive you are or how much you got done this week, take notice of what you’ve already done.

By making a list of everything you’ve accomplished, you’ll be able to remind yourself of all your achievements and you’ll see just how capable you are and how valuable your energy is.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

We all have a voice inside our heads as we go throughout the day. This is the voice of our self-talk and will vary depending on how we feel about ourselves.

While it may not seem like it at first, the way you think about yourself can seriously change your life. For example, if you constantly think “I’m so dumb” or “I’m so stupid” after making a mistake, this sort of negative self-talk will eventually erode at your self esteem.

These thoughts will spill over to your life and will seriously prevent you from experiencing the level of self love that you deserve.

3. Change What You Can

Is something standing in the way of you liking yourself? While you should love yourself as you are no matter what, if there is something you don’t like that you have control over, you can change it.

This advice isn’t necessarily about physical attributes–it can refer to how you think and act.

Are you overly critical of yourself? Are you incredibly anxious? If this is the kind of behavior you’ve witnessed in yourself, you have the power to change this.

Start by monitoring the way you think and how you respond to certain things. Once your mind starts wandering in that direction, stop yourself. While this retraining will take time, you’ll find that you will feel entirely different about yourself through the process.

4. Learn to Trust Yourself

We often value trust so much in our relationships with others but we fail to think about it in relation to ourselves.

While you may not think about the fact that you’ve been distrustful to yourself, it happens more often than you realize. Whenever you tell yourself you’ll do something but end up going back on your word, this is an example of you giving up on yourself.

Grow in your self-love by boosting your self-trust through the following methods:

  • Remind yourself of moments when you’ve kept your word to yourself. These memories will show you that you are reliable and can handle anything you put your mind to.
  • Keep the promises you make to yourself. After setting a goal, do everything in your power to follow through with it.
  • Trust your judgement. While it’s perfectly fine to ask others for help, ultimately, you get the final say when it comes to your choices. Whether your decision follows the advice of others or not, you get the final say.
  • Accept your flaws and learn to love everything about yourself. None of us are perfect, so learn to love yourself–flaws and all.

5. Date Yourself

Since romantic love is so celebrated by our society, many of us believe that we can only go on dates with a romantic partner. However, this isn’t true at all.

Do you have a favorite restaurant that you love to go to? Is there a certain movie that you’ve been dying to see? Take yourself out on a date and spend time enjoying your own company.

If you can’t spend time alone with yourself, you’ll never know just how enjoyable your own company is. How can you expect your true love to?

6. Create a Vision Board

A major component in loving ourselves is knowing that we are living our best lives. Make sure you are reaching for your dream life by keeping your future goals at the forefront of your mind by making a habit of creating vision boards.

Whether you create a vision board in person or on Pinterest, this activity will allow you see that your biggest dreams are all achievable.

Regardless of how big or small your goals are, you have what it takes to see them through. Keep reminding yourself of this truth by regularly updating your vision board.

7. Invest in Yourself

Part of learning to love yourself involves fostering your desire to keep learning and growing in life.

As long as you’re breathing, you’re never too old to learn something new. If you’re working to fall more in love with yourself, don’t ever stop growing.

Invest in yourself by taking a class, getting a certification, renting a few books, or spending time learning from a mentor. This practice of constant exploration will show you that you are truly limitless in your abilities.

8. Learn to Love the Silence

In the hustle and bustle of our daily activities, it is often difficult to carve out time for total silence. Though most of us underestimate the power of silence, having the opportunity to take just a few minutes each day to sit quietly and alone is invaluable to self-love.

Use this time of solitude to completely declutter your mind and separate yourself from all the stress you have in life. This act of self-care will do wonders for your self-love.

The process of sitting quietly and focusing on clearing your mind will renew your energy and restore balance to your thoughts and emotions.

9. Stop Looking for Love

Are you a serial dater? Are you so determined to find the perfect partner that you are always looking to find true love wherever you go?

Whether you’re constantly swiping through Tinder or you’re spending all your free time going on as many blind dates as possible, this isn’t the best way to find true love.

Though it is quite cliche to say, “love will find you when you stop looking for it”, it’s true.

When you focus so intensely on trying to find the love of your life, you put all your time and energy into ensuring you identify and attract the right person. Once you meet someone, you may end up rushing into things, simply because you’re trying to make your true love happen over night.

While dating is fun, there is something to be said about taking things slowly and letting life simply happen as it wants to. Instead of actively searching for your soulmate, it’s time to look inside and see that you are your own true love.

10. Handle Your Past Pain

Emotional baggage is certainly something that can prevent you from moving forward.

It is impossible to truly fall in love with yourself if you’re still being weighed down by all of your past pain. Start the healing process by identifying the hurt that you feel and understanding what issues they stem from.

Once you learn where your pain is coming from, it’s time to go through the forgiveness process. While this isn’t easy, it’s incredibly important as you work on loving yourself a little more each day.

As you continue to work on your baggage from the past, you’ll find that you’re able to free your mind and your heart, which brings you one step closer to being emotionally and mentally prepared to find true love.

Final Thoughts on Finding True Love

No one can tell you exactly how or when you’ll meet your true love, but we can tell you where to find the greatest love of all. Look within to find the first person you must fall in love with before you meet your soulmate.

Learning to love yourself is a process that takes time. Enjoy this journey of self-love and keep these 10 tips in mind. True love will find you, but make sure you love yourself enough for the both of you.

The post The #1 Reason You Can’t Find True Love (And How to Fix It) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

15 Emotional Photos That Perfectly Capture The Stunning Beauty of Women After Childbirth

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Many women feel ashamed of their bodies after childbirth and try to cover up their stretch marks or scars as much as possible. Of course, the media hasn’t helped women feel confident with their bodies after having a child, because news outlets constantly show pictures of celebrities looking stick-thin after giving birth. We as women know this isn’t reality, but it’s hard to feel confident in our own skin when using those women as a comparison.

These women below show us that our bodies are still lovable after childbirth; there’s no shame in flaunting them!

Here are 15 photos that show the beauty of women after childbirth:

1. This woman shares a beautiful message to all the new mothers out there who are worried about the changes their bodies have undergone.

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2. Precious moments shared with your little one make all the struggles worth it.

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3. Photos like this of women after childbirth show the true beauty of bringing a child into this world and the unbreakable bond you have with them.

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4. Extra skin does not make you ugly. To all you new mothers out there who feel uncomfortable in your skin, you’re beautiful.

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5. Motherhood is such an honor. Embrace it while you can.

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6. “I find my current size and shape to be utterly beautiful. I find it worthy of every ounce of love this world has to offer.”

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7. It doesn’t get more precious than this. Awww!

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8. “Yes I have stretch marks, I have more than one chin, my thighs rub together. My body isn’t perfect, but it did give me my baby. My body carried and cared for her. I don’t care if it’s not the definition of perfect, it’s perfect to me.”

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9. This photo shows that women after childbirth can look beautiful at any size or shape.

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10. Bodies after childbirth deserve love and acceptance.

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11. Scars and stretch marks are still worthy of love.

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12. Women after childbirth need to stop being shamed into looking a certain way.

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13. Never feel bad about the skin you’re in.

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14. Beautiful mom … and the background isn’t too shabby, either!

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15. Show off your post-pregnancy bodies, Moms! You have nothing to hide!

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(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

The post 15 Emotional Photos That Perfectly Capture The Stunning Beauty of Women After Childbirth appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

10 Things Healthy Relationships Do (And 10 Things They Don’t)

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Healthy relationships are incredible to be a part of. It’s no wonder that everyone seeks out these positive, happy partnerships when looking for a significant other. But a lot of toxic habits in relationships go overlooked because they seem small or unimportant.

This is why it’s so important to take note of unhealthy behavior and focus on creating positive habits for a good, long-lasting, mutually satisfying relationship. Here are some things healthy relationships do, and some things they don’t.

10 Things Healthy Relationships Do, And 10 Things They Don’t

1. Respect of Privacy (Not Oversharing)

When you love someone, you like to talk about them. In a healthy relationship, though, there’s a clear line that is not to be crossed. Sure, you and your closest friends might giggle about something romantic your partner does or roll your eyes at some silly trait your partner has – but there are things you just don’t talk about.

Your partner might share deep dark secrets with you in confidence that you shouldn’t then spread around to other people, even if they promise not to tell anyone. If your partner finds out, they could feel betrayed and it will affect their overall trust in you.

The same goes for fights and disagreements. While it’s okay to rant to a trusted person on rare occasions, for the most part, your arguments with your partner should be between you. Bringing in third parties that will give you biased opinions or cause you to view your partner more negatively shows huge disrespect for your partner.

2. Independence (Not Codependence)

A relationship that is healthy should feature two whole, independent people staying together because they want to be together – not because they feel like they need to. This means each person should have no trouble doing activities on their own, such as:

  • Going out with their own group of friends
  • Following unique career paths and dreams
  • Enjoying their own hobbies
  • Taking me-time to themselves to rest and recuperate

This doesn’t mean you aren’t involved in each other’s lives, or that you don’t include each other in them. It just means that you have your own lives, too, which is a very positive trait in healthy relationships.

In unhealthy partnerships, one person may feel jealous or envious of the other person’s life, career, or friends. This stems from neediness, insecurity, and a validation-seeking nature that can be detrimental to a relationship in the long run. They may then resort to guilt-tripping, manipulation, unreasonable rules, and even forceful behavior to get what they want.

3. Giving Happily (Not Giving To Get)

Giving is a standard part of many relationships, but only a healthy one gives in a positive way. The good, healthy type of giving involves happily doing so in a free manner, without expecting something in return. You like seeing your partner happy, and they like seeing you happy, so it feels natural to give and make the other person smile.

Meanwhile, a toxic relationship never gives – unless it is seeking to get in return. This creates an air of distrust and discomfort within a relationship. You may worry that your partner’s gift means they are about to betray you or have done something wrong.

The same goes for soliciting giving. In a healthy relationship, both parties give freely. In unhealthy ones, you may feel like you have to give, or else. A partner might perform guilt tripping behavior in order to receive something from their significant other.

4. Support (Not Discouragement)

In a healthy relationship, your significant other is always there to support you. They inspire you and motivate you, pushing you to be better. When you go after your goals, they support you wholeheartedly and are there for the ride. And when you succeed, you can bet a million bucks that they’ll be right there celebrating with you!

But in unhealthy relationships, there isn’t this same level of support. Instead, you might feel discouraged. This can happen in a few different ways.

· Feeling stuck

You might feel actively discouraged when you think about your future because you need to make sure it is suitable for your partner – and that involves going in the opposite direction than you want to.

· Lacking confidence

Your partner may bring you down and convince you that you cannot succeed in chasing your dreams.

· Envy

If you have a competitive partner, they may become bitter when you succeed. They may feel extremely envious whenever you’re getting ahead in life, causing you to feel guilty for doing well.

· Jealousy

Your partner might stop you from following your dreams for fear that you will drift away from them. They might actively hold you back in order to keep you around.

5. Equality (Not Superiority or Inferiority)

A healthy relationship features equality. Both partners respect each other and consider each other equals in every way. There is no concept of someone deserving more than the other in any area, including:

  • Money
  • Freedom
  • Free time
  • Work
  • Benefits
  • Respect
  • Listening

This means finding compromises in a lot of areas. If one partner works 9 to 5, the other will take on extra chores. If both parties work, they split chores and errands between them. There isn’t a case of someone sitting in front of the television while the other person runs around doing all the household tasks and parenting duties.

An unhealthy relationship features ego dynamics that cause superiority battles. This isn’t just about chores, though; it’s also about entitlement. One person may feel like they deserve to be constantly listened to but never listens to their partner. Or a partner may feel like they are owed intimacy-related favors because they did extra chores.

6. Fighting Against A Problem (Not Against Each Other)

Fights aren’t pleasant, but when handled in a positive way, they can help a relationship grow stronger. If the idea of a good argument sounds foreign to you, take a look at these ways that fighting can be done healthily in a relationship, compared to unhealthy fighting habits.

· Learning

When you fight, you learn more about each other. You get better insight into your partner’s needs and, if you play your cards right, you’ll be able to understand them more and see how to prevent such disagreements in the future. You will also gain knowledge on how to better handle the situations that led to the fight.

A person in an unhealthy relationship, however, will collect this information as ammunition to use against their partner in the future. They don’t seek to learn from this fight to prevent future ones – they seek to learn so they can “win” the next one.

· Compromise

A healthy fight involves compromise. You have two different opinions or preferences, and you have to find a win-win solution. It takes a lot of work and effort from both parties, but there is always an option that will make both of you feel relatively satisfied.

On the other hand, an unhealthy fight is selfish. A partner in this situation will insist on having things done their way, refusing to budge. This will either cause a never-ending argument or result in someone being forced to give in.

· Togetherness

The goal of an argument should always be solving the issue. This means you and your partner are fighting against the problem – you aren’t fighting against each other.

In a healthy relationship, this is apparent. Both people try to stay calm and promote good discussion while keeping their positive thinking. Meanwhile, in an unhealthy relationship, both people are so concerned about preserving their pride and “winning” that they can’t find the solution they need.

7. Security and Trust (Not Jealousy)

In healthy relationships, you and your partner will feel secure with each other. You will trust each other without question; it’s great to come home at the end of the day to a place you know is safe, and a person you know loves you no matter what.

This also gives both partners more freedom. They have their own friends and lives while still feeling secure in the love they share with the other person. It’s a very important feature in a healthy relationship.

But in unhealthy relationships, a partner – or both – will be insecure. They will feel jealous about other connections a partner has, act in a controlling manner, or sneak through text messages to look for incriminating evidence. This creates a lack of security in the relationship that makes it feel unsafe and volatile.

8. Forgiveness (Not Resentment)

You and your partner are human. You will make mistakes sometimes. But when it’s all said and done and it’s all been hashed out, you are both ready to forgive each other and put it behind you – that’s a healthy relationship.

In an unhealthy relationship, one or both members have difficulty forgiving, though they might try to. In all likelihood, grudges will be held and resentment will build between both of you until it all comes to blows. Dwelling in the past like this is toxic and only harms the relationship.

9. Making Plans As A Unit (Not Being Self-Centered)

In healthy relationships, you know you’ll be together for a long time to come – so you make plans accordingly. You make decisions and plan for what’s to come as one cohesive unit, with positive thinking and hope, and by respecting each other.

However, an unhealthy relationship will not do this. Instead, there will be self-centered behavior and fighting because you refuse to compromise on what you want. It will force one person to give up their personal hope for the future so that the other one can flourish; and, as you can imagine, this will create tension further down the line.

10. Acceptance (Not Change)

In healthy relationships, it is paramount that both people love and respect each other 100%. This means accepting your partner and all their quirks, flaws, and traits. You should love your significant other just as they are.

In toxic relationships, on the other hand, a member will try to change their partner to suit what they desire. A partner may control the other, or guilt-trip them into changing certain behaviors. This extremely unhealthy behavior shows a lack of true love for the other.

There is, of course, the need for personal growth and improvement – but the keyword here is “personal.” Your partner shouldn’t be forcing you to change or telling you that you need to improve. Instead, they should simply inspire you to grow and develop – just as you should for them!

Final Thoughts On Some Things Healthy Relationships Do And Some They Don’t

Healthy relationships can be hard work, but they are extremely worth it. They will make you happy and spur you to do better, not drag you down through toxicity. Keep this in mind moving forward, and you’ll surely enjoy great partnerships to come.

The post 10 Things Healthy Relationships Do (And 10 Things They Don’t) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Business

Best Business Class Airlines to Italy

The whole new world opens before those passengers who preferred the Cheap Business Class flights. This a world where when flying to Italy each passenger has a chance to comfort himself not into a simple big armchair, but into the armchair easily transforming into a sleeping bed. But this only the beginning of the conveniences available. There are also hot towels, luxury food, and tidy sheets.

Business class flights made the world smaller, and once distant and exotic Italy for millions of people became now immeasurably close and modern so that it seems you can grab it in your hands and take a closer look. Many billions were spent to make the business class international Italian airlines available to everyone. These flights performed by world air-carriage leaders establish a system of uninterrupted connection with one of the most beautiful and spectacular European countries. Passengers who are willing to take the business class flight to Italy must be one hundred percent sure that this travel will become much cheaper with services of the Cheap First Class airline consolidator. Italian airports are widely regarded as the most expensive destinations of international air transport.

Italy can boast of having about 40 airports of local and international destinations. However, some of them distinguish among others.

  • Fiumicino – Rome. Another proper name of this airport is Leonardo da Vinci International Airport. The airport was opened in 1961 and is considered the largest in Italy. The record passenger traffic volume amounted to 40 million people. About 110 international airlines fly from Fiumicino Airport to 210 destinations around the world. The airport infrastructure also includes more than 170 stores representing top Italian brands. The airport is operated by the company Aeroporti di Roma. This particular destination may become your last stop if you would try and get the last-minute ticket to Italy with Cheap First Class airline consolidator;
  • Malpensa – Milan, the second largest international airport in Italy. Malpensa1 airport performs intercontinental passenger flights, while Malpensa2 performs solely international flights. Linate Airport is specialized in domestic flights. The total traffic for Malpensa exceeds 19 million passengers. Malpensa Airport was certified ENAC (Ente Nazionale per l’Aviazione Civile/National Civil Aviation Committee) in 2004. At the airport is available the entire spectrum of passenger services for business class. Malpensa airport is located 48 kilometers from Milan. Airport and city are connected to by a network of roads and railways. The most convenient railway routes are the Malpensa Express train (Milan-Cadorna), Freccia Rossa (Milan-Central Station). This airport might become a perfect place for your landing when you purchase last-minute tickets from Cheap First Class airline consolidator.

Our company maintains a close partnership with numerous airline companies around the world. Here are some of the famous Italian airlines business class services of which you might enjoy when you buy last-minute tickets from us:

Alitalia Compagnia Aerea Italiana – the first Italian airline company established on September 16, 1946. Currently services 29 Italian airports and 92 destinations in the world. As a result of the integration of the fleet, the organizational and commercial structures of the former Alitalia and Air One, in 2009 a new powerful fleet and an extensive network of infrastructures and commercial organizations were formed.

Air Dolomiti – the regional airline controlled by Lufthansa created in 1989 performs flights to Monaco, Frankfurt, and Vienna. Participates in the Star Alliance affiliated network.

Air One – created in 1983 under the name Aliadriatica is the major partner of Alitalia.

Air Vallée – being established in 1989 in Aosta the regional airline carrier nowadays performs flights with Dornier 328 jet airplanes.

Air Europe was established in 1989. the company provides charter flights to Mexico, Cuba, Jamaica, and the Maldives. Serves the airports of Malpensa (Milan) and Fiumicino (Rome). Included in the Volare group.

Alpi Eagles – being created in 1979 the company performs internal and external flights.

The time for purchasing your business class tickets has come. Contact Cheap First Class and find suitable last-minute tickets for the most comfortable flights to Italy now.

The post Best Business Class Airlines to Italy appeared first on Born Realist.


Source – bornrealist.com

Lifestyle

5 Emotional Wounds Women Carry Into Relationships When They’re Unloved As Children

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The love of our parents is something society views as another of our “unalienable rights” as children. Society tends to prefer to create the worldview that all parents love their children, know how to show that love, and know the best way to parent each individual child. It assumes that each parent is a mature, responsible adult without any past emotional issues that affect their parenting.

Sadly, that is not often the case. Parents are human. They make mistakes. They have their own views of the world and what is proper parenting. All parents have weaknesses and unresolved issues; some may struggle with mental illnesses, addictions, personality disorders, emotional wounds or more.

The results from parents who struggle to maintain themselves – much less raise healthy members of the next generation – are children often left to manage on their own. They not only must learn how to handle the parent but also learn how to socialize, handle their own emotions, form their view of the world, and adopt proper morals. There is a quote I read once from a psychologist that stated, “Children are excellent observers, but horrible interpreters,” meaning they see everything but can’t make sense of it or have the wisdom to put it into perspective. Without someone to help you do that, your view of the world (and yourself) becomes skewed.

Women, generally the more emotionally-sensitive sex, carry their childhood emotions with them far longer than the majority of men. This is not to say men don’t carry childhood wounds with them, but that they tend to approach them in a more pragmatic way as they get older. Women, however, carry the pain with them for many years. It affects all their relationships until they finally heal.

Here are 5 emotional wounds woman carry into relationships when they are unloved as children.

1. Attachment Issues:

A child raised with a parent who responds with love, support, and care will see relationships and attachments as something good and safe. A child raised where the parent doesn’t show affection or is inconsistent in their availability for the child, learns that “people can’t be trusted.” She is learning that relationships are not secure or consistent; they can change on you quickly. For a child who needs emotional feedback and affection, this is devastating. She grows up constantly seeking this connection yet teaching herself to remain entirely self-reliant. Relationships make her anxious and uncertain as she always expects rejection to come her way.

2. Trust Issues:

A child raised with a parent who makes themselves available and helps the child understand and resolve even simple problems becomes confident that others are there for her. A child raised with a parent who pushes them away must learn to handle things themselves; if that parent is completely absent, she often learns that she cannot trust others. She learns that people won’t protect her or help her and that relationships are unsafe.

3. Difficulty with Boundaries:

A balanced parent understands the importance of teaching their child that everyone deserves their own space and time; each individual is their own being and has different needs that should be respected. An unbalanced parent doesn’t give their child enough space. She will treat the child as if only her needs matter. As that child grows, she values her independence and space more than average while feeling the need to please everyone. She also misinterprets others’ needs for space. She believes that others are rejecting her if they don’t want her around all the time.

4. Dominated by Fear of Failure:

A parent should teach their child that failure is normal and it’s just a setback, not a destination. An unbalanced parent may be hypercritical or punitive if certain expectations aren’t met. There are also situations where parents don’t give any attention unless things were done to their expectations. This leaves a child feeling that if she does not perform exceedingly well, she is undeserving of love or approval.

5. Poor Sense of Self:

A parent should show consistent approval and attention to a child so that the child learns that she is lovable and good just the way she is. An unhealthy, hypercritical parent who doesn’t give compliments or show affection is teaching the child to doubt that she is worthy of love and attention and must not do things right. Essentially, she feels defective.

These emotional wounds may show themselves in many ways.

The results of these emotional wounds may differ depending on if the wounds were caused by their mother or father. Some wounds from inattentive fathers may show themselves as:

1) More prone to depression: Many women have a hard time with romantic relationships due to poor relationships with their fathers. It severely effects their self-esteem and can lead to depression due to the sadness they don’t know how to handle.

2) More prone to eating disorders: Daughters without a strong father figure are twice as likely to develop obesity. Essentially, they fill the void of emptiness with food. Others may become anorexic or bulimic. They think if they had been thin enough, “daddy would have loved me.”

3) More prone to early sexual relationships: Many studies have shown that a girl lacking in her father’s affection is more likely to try to get a man’s approval through sexual relationships.

4) More prone to addiction: Per the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, a fatherless child is 69% more likely to use drugs and 76% more likely to commit crimes. A daughter is more likely to turn to drugs to numb the pain.

How to heal your unloved child within

It would be wonderful if we could go back into our past and recreate the loving childhood we dreamed of, where we could experience love, approval, and safety as so many others have. Instead, we are pushed to continue through life and make the best of it. Maybe that is the best way. After all, you wouldn’t be the person you are without going through your experiences. Your level of empathy, care, sensitivities, and resilience wouldn’t be the same. It is possible to heal from these past events and become a healthier, stronger you. Here are some steps to help you heal your unloved child within:

Write about it.

Tell your story. By writing, it allows you the opportunity to give it structure and organization – to remember complete events, not just the leftover emotions. It helps you to gain perspective. It also allows you to let the emotions out.

Look through old photographs.

Oftentimes we remember ourselves as the child we were told we were and not the reality. For example, a child who was told they were fat may be able to go back and see that in actuality, they were about the same size as other children. A child who got emotional wounds by being told they were stupid may see old report cards where they received some A’s, some B’s, and an occasional C. This allows you the chance to see the reality of yourself and become more aware of how this lie has created behaviors that have no base.

Re-evaluate your current relationships.

If you have a friendship or sexual relationship that is leaving you feeling bad about yourself, look at it. Look at what is drawing you to them. Are you just reinforcing your parent’s view of yourself through this other person? Do you have the strength to leave them? Do you tend to give more to others than you ask for in return? Maybe make a list of what you would like out the relationships and then step by step, bring them into more balance.

Accept the reality of your past and build new boundaries with your parents.

Being able to take control of your current relationship with your parents is as important as the others in your life. Make a list of where your parent’s/parents’ actions intrude upon your life in a painful or unfair way. Then make a list of rules you can establish to change this. Granted, this is not an easy process and will bring up old pain from these emotional wounds. Taking back the control you didn’t have as a child with your parent(s) is very therapeutic if done in a calm but firm way. There is a push and pull as both of you will slip into old patterns, but it is possible. If possible, make sure you do have a good support system with you as well.

Final thoughts

Healing the emotional wounds that you brought into your adult relationships from when you were unloved as a child is tough. The one thing you should remember is that you already went through the toughest part and came out alive and still fighting. It is possible to heal this hurt child and become the balanced and loving adult you deserve to have a happy life.

If you struggle with emotional wounds that you carry into relationships, seek a counselor who can help you move through these feelings. They can put things into perspective and help you have more self-esteem and confidence.

The post 5 Emotional Wounds Women Carry Into Relationships When They’re Unloved As Children appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

Science Explains 11 Ways to Fall Deeper In Love With Your Partner

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Feelings can grow and fade. If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are that you’ll want to fall deeper in love as time goes on. But is that possible? Can love really keep improving, even after years of being together?

It can be saddening to hear of couples who “fall out of love” with each other. You may worry that all relationships are doomed to follow that same path. You may worry that you and your partner will not last as long as you want to.

The good news is that love in relationships is something that fades when you stop working on it. Essentially, as long as you keep prioritizing your relationship and working to improve on it, your love will develop and grow.

But how can you do this? How can you ensure that you and your partner continue to become stronger together?

Science Explains 11 Ways To Fall Deeper In Love With Your Partner

1. Give And Pay Attention

Life gets hectic and busy, and you can become so absorbed in work that you neglect your partner. This is a huge no-no. You need to prioritize your relationship in order to continue to grow your love.

Building regular connections with your partner is crucial to helping the love last, and you can’t do them without paying attention to them. Here’s how you can do so!

  • Ask about your partner’s day.
  • Cuddle with them for a short while.
  • Give them a heartfelt compliment.
  • Give them a subtle message of support.
  • Make them coffee or tea.
  • Listen to them.

Though these might seem like small efforts, they make all the difference in one’s busy lifestyle. Trust us, your partner will notice these small, sweet gestures and will appreciate them immensely.

2. Spend Time Together

When was the last time you set aside time specifically to spend with your partner? Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., states that doing things together involving only the two of you is very important. It creates unique moments that you can share and hold onto, thus helping to nurture your bond.

Relationships always need regular nurturing. Here are some ways to allocate quality time to your partner.

  • Schedule a date night and follow through.
  • Have a lovely home-cooked dinner.
  • Go for a walk together.
  • Plan a short holiday when you next have the time.
  • Cuddle in front of a TV and catch up on shows.
  • Just hang out.

Studies have shown that married couples who continue to have dates between once and thrice a week feel more satisfied in their relationships, thus reducing the likelihood of divorce significantly and enjoying a more positive love life.

Many long-term relationships begin to die out the more busy each person gets, as they stop being able to truly make time for the other easily. Making the effort to plan and spend time with your partner can save the relationship as a whole.

3. Be Grateful

Taking your partner for granted is a one-way ticket to losing them. That’s why it is so important to be grateful and appreciative of them and all that they do.

The worst thing you can find yourself saying on special occasions is “I know I don’t say this enough, but…” Sure, it sounds like a sweet sentiment, but why haven’t you been saying it? Appreciation shouldn’t be reserved for anniversaries and birthdays – it should be practiced daily.

Learn to be grateful and practice positive thinking regarding your partner every day. Here are some ways you can do so.

  • Compliment your partner regularly.
  • Thank them for every nice thing that they do.
  • Go out of your way to do nice things for them.
  • Keep a gratitude journal and log the sweet, loving gestures your partner performs.

Not sure where to start with your gratitude? Here are some suggestions that you may be overlooking.

  • The household chores your partner does
  • Your partner making you food or drinks
  • Your partner giving you quiet space for days so you can focus on work
  • The hard work your partner does to put food on the table
  • Your partner loving you and caring for you
  • Your partner knowing just how to cheer you up

4. Face Problems Together

You’ll deal with a lot of problems during your lifetime. It can be tempting to deal with them on your own and leave your partner out of it, but this type of isolating behavior is endlessly harmful to otherwise healthy relationships.

Ask your partner for opinions, advice, or even just support. Treat them like you can count on them, because you can, and you’ll learn a lot of things about them that make you fall even more in love with them.

This also applies to problems that affect both of you, like serious arguments and fights. Remember that you should always treat fights as both of you versus the issue, not one person versus the other. A couple that works on resolving arguments healthily stays together!

5. Make More Physical Contact

Taking time to cuddle, hold hands, or just engage in more physical contact is great for any relationship. It helps strengthen bonds and can provide a closeness that never fails to give your love a boost.

When you touch a partner lovingly, even if it’s just to hug, your brain produces oxytocin; this feel-good neurotransmitter boosts your positive thinking and makes you feel great. On top of that, it’s a bonding hormone that helps you feel closer to the other person and increases feelings of trust between you.

6. Find New Experiences

Adventures bring people closer together. They’re fun, they’re brand new, and they can teach you more about the other person along the way.

According to dating expert and relationship expert Jonathan Bennett, it has been scientifically proven that trying new things, especially exciting ones, can help you feel more satisfied in your relationship. Here are some ideas to try out!

  • Go on a day trip to somewhere new.
  • Try an adrenaline-pumping activity, like skydiving, together.
  • Do a new type of date. (Museum date? Amusement park date? Concert date? Massage date?)
  • Play new games.
  • Take a class together.

7. Listen And Empathize

It’s very easy to only see the world through your own perspective. But your partner is a separate, whole person with their own lens and way of looking at life. That’s why learning to put aside your opinions to truly listen to your partner is such a positive habit.

When your partner has a complaint, try to listen to them and see where they are coming from. Validate their feelings and work on empathizing with them. If you put effort into this, you’ll be able to show more care towards your partner, and you’ll also be able to understand their moods and thoughts much more easily.

8. Make More Eye Contact

The thought of staring into your partner’s eyes might sound silly, but it’s a very important part of maintaining and growing love. In fact, science has proven that is has a positive effect on passion and love levels in couples.

Try holding eye contact for extended periods of time. Gaze into each other’s eyes and hold a conversation, or just say nothing. It can feel funny at first, but you’ll be surprised by how much closer you feel after it’s done!

9. Do More Nice Things

Many relationships lose their sense of romance as time goes on. Don’t let that happen to you! Keeping adorable romance alive can be as simple as continuing the random, sweet, thoughtful things you did when you were still courting your partner, such as:

  • Writing sweet notes
  • Surprising them with gifts
  • Planning a surprise dinner or date
  • Giving a massage

10. Understand Their Love Language

Love languages refer to ways that people like to receive love the most. It’s usually also the way they show love. A discrepancy in love languages without understanding them can lead to a lack of fulfillment in relationships.

There are five love languages, which are:

  • Gifts – giving and receiving presents
  • Words of affirmation – compliments, verbal support, and more
  • Acts of service – helping with chores, whittling down a to-do list, running errands for the other person
  • Quality time – spending time together, going on dates, and more
  • Physical touch – intimacy, kissing, holding hands, and more

As an example, if your love language is quality time, you might believe that putting aside work to hang out with your partner is enough. But if their love language is acts of service, they might feel like you aren’t doing anything romantic and therefore don’t love them as much as you used to!

Talking about your love languages and catering to each other’s is a great way to fall deeper in love with your partner. Make sure you understand how they like to receive love and that they know your preferences, too.

11. Learn More About Each Other

No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you can continue to learn more about them every single day. Don’t lose your sense of curiosity about your partner. Ask them questions, show an active interest in their hobbies, and keep up with their ever-changing dreams and goals.

Human beings develop and change over time. Don’t assume your partner will always be the same person they were when you met them. Continuing to learn about them as the years go by will prevent a sudden shock that is sure to come if you haven’t been keeping up to date on their personal selves!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Fall Deeper In Love With Your Partner According To Science

No one goes into a relationship expecting it to end. For the most part, when someone starts dating another person, they want that partnership to last. If you’ve been dating someone for a good long while or are even married to them, chances are that you want to be in it for the long run.

A successful, positive relationship requires effort from all parties. You, alone, cannot make love grow if your partner doesn’t put in equal effort. As such, when you’re performing these 11 ways to fall deeper in love with your partner, make sure it’s not one-sided! All members of a relationship must be interested in growing their love in order for it to work.

At the end of the day, falling more and more in love with your partner is all about continuing healthy habits, avoiding toxic ones, and making sure neither of you falls complacent. By continuing to work on your relationship and togetherness, you’ll always find new things to fall in love with!

The post Science Explains 11 Ways to Fall Deeper In Love With Your Partner appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

11 Habits A True Friendship Does Differently

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We all seek true friendship. This kind of companionship is a step above normal friendship. It involves people around whom you can simply be yourself – people you can trust and who care for you just as much as you care for them.

But figuring out which of your friendships are genuine, long-lasting ones can be challenging. Luckily, there are some very clear signs that separate true blue pals from the rest.

Here Are 11 Things A True Friendship Does Differently

1. They Make You Feel Less Stressed Out

When you go to hang out with a true friend, you’ll feel the stress melt right off of you. Every encounter you have with them will leave you feeling great and even energized.

In fact, spending time with good friends who are good for you can drastically improve your positive thinking and happiness levels, especially after or during negative events or circumstances. Essentially, if you feel the urge to spend time with someone when you need a pick-me-up, that’s a true friendship.

If you’re dreading a meeting with your friend because you always feel drained from them, it may be time to re-evaluate the friendship – especially if you feel bad before, during, and after each hang-out session.

2. They Are Honest With You

Honesty is always the best policy, and this applies to friendships, too. A true friend will make sure that they never deceive you in the following ways:

· False Flattery

A true friend is never going to hype you up falsely. This doesn’t mean they aren’t supportive; it just means you can count on them to never lie to you. They compliment you on real things you’re good at – and they don’t flatter you just to get on your good side.

· Gossip

A friend will not start rumors about you, nor will they listen to gossip that is floating around. If they think something is happening, they’ll tell you; if someone is spreading rumors, they’ll tell that person off and report it to you.

· Sugarcoating

A true friend does not try to make you happy by allowing you to be ignorant or wrong. They can be brutally honest, even if they are tactful, about what’s going on. They always tell you what you need to hear, not only what you want to hear – even if it’s tough, even if it hurts, and even if they know you’ll be angry.

· Backstabbing

If a true friend has a problem with you, they will tell you to your face. They won’t complain about you to everyone you know so that they can gain high ground. They respect you and they would never tarnish your reputation.

3. They Don’t Get Jealous About Your Other Friendships

Jealousy and envy don’t have any place in any kind of healthy relationship – whether a platonic, friendly one or otherwise. These emotions stem from insecurity and can drag a friendship down.

In a friendship that isn’t a true friendship, your companion will feel oddly possessive over you. They will take it personally when you hang out with other people, and they feel upset when you make other friends. They might even be angry if you take up hobbies that reduce the time you can spend with them.

Of course, the green-eyed monster can be difficult to control. Some people do feel jealous of their friend’s friends, but they don’t allow it to take over them. Instead, they ask themselves why they feel that way and recognize that it is a negative emotion before taking steps to overcome it.

4. They Know You Better Than Everyone Else

A true friend is someone you can confide in, and who will never use the things you tell them against you. They know:

  • Deepest secrets
  • Silly, unintentional quirks
  • Worst flaws
  • Most “out-there” dreams
  • Personality traits
  • Buried history
  • Love life
  • Embarrassing moments

Essentially, a true friend knows you better than just about anyone else does, and they might even know you better than you know your own self. They know your negative sides, your positive sides, your weird sides, and everything else in between – and you trust them with that knowledge.

This is someone who knows who you really, truly are and values every last bit of you! That’s truly something precious to be treasured.

5. They Are Genuinely Happy When You Succeed

A friend who isn’t true will be bitter when you do well in life. They might have trouble smiling and congratulating you, even if they try their best to act happy through it. A part of them is envious of what you have any wishes they could have it, and that insecurity separates them from a true friend.

On the other hand, someone who can’t wait to celebrate every success you have is a friend you can count on. They’ll scream along with you when you get a job promotion. They’ll demand you take loads of pictures to send them when you go on vacation. They’ll be just as happy as you are about your achievements and positive life changes.

Some people are very good at hiding envy and bitterness. But, as you carry on through life and go through its ups and downs, the people around you will reveal who they really are.

6. They Call You Out Without Judging You

You aren’t perfect, and the average friend will overlook your errors in favor of keeping the peace. In true friendship, however, they aren’t afraid to call you out when you’re being unreasonable. Here’s how they might do so.

· They Tell You When You’re Wrong

A friend isn’t going to point out your wrongs just to play devil’s advocate. But when you do something they don’t agree with or think is morally questionable, they’re going to tell you directly without sugarcoating it. They want you to be held accountable for your mistakes, just like everyone else has to be.

· They Are Gentle, But Firm

A true friend won’t intentionally hurt your feelings or belittle you when you mess up. They will tell you when you’re in the wrong, but always in a constructive and helpful manner – not in a cruel one. This helps you maintain your positive thinking even while they’re correcting you.

· They Don’t Hold Grudges

Once you’ve apologized or made up for a mistake, a true friend will put it behind them and move on. If they need time, they’ll tell you, but they’re not going to hold a grudge against you forever.

· They Don’t Expect Too Much

A true friend doesn’t expect you to be the picture of perfection. You don’t worry about needing to walk on eggshells around them, but you know that if you start trampling on them, they’ll say something. They don’t expect perfection – they only expect the best you can do!

· They Aren’t Judgmental

We all make mistakes, and it doesn’t mean we’re bad people. A true friend knows this, so when you mess up big time, they aren’t going to judge you for it. They’ll be understanding and encourage you to be better.

· They Want You To Improve

At the end of the day, a real, genuine friend wants you to be the best you can be. That’s why they tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s not the most pleasant.

7. They Make An Effort To See You (And You Do The Same)

Life can get very busy, but a true friend wants to work around a hectic schedule to see you. You will both compromise so you can find a time to meet and hang out because you’re both so important to each other.

A friend who isn’t the best you could have will not make much of an effort to meet you halfway. You suggest outings, ask them to meals and movies, or even invite them over for a friendly sleepover, and they always seem to be too busy.

Worse still, these fake friends may only want to be around you when they want something out of you. This type of one-sided friendship isn’t great for anyone involved.

8. You Have Loads Of Memories and Inside Jokes

A true friend is someone who complements you as you complement them. You laugh together, forge amazing memories, and collect hilarious inside jokes as you spend time together.

You know a friendship is for real when you can’t even keep track of all the amazing times you’ve had over all the hours you’ve hung out. Better yet, you can’t wait to continue making these memories with them!

9. They Really, Truly Listen

Lots of people claim to be good listeners. A true friend really is one, especially towards you. Here are all the ways they listen to you if it’s a true friendship.

· They Converse Fairly

Conversations are a two-way street. When you and a friend are chatting, a true one does not cut you off, nor do they constantly turn the topic back to them. They want to hear from you as much as you want to hear from them.

· They Give You Their Full Attention

A true friend puts their phone away while they’re talking to you, and you do the same. If you don’t do this, then you should definitely consider it if you want a positive friendship! Research has found that the mere presence of any device can reduce connection levels between people.

· They Listen To You When You Need Them To

If you have concerns, a true friend listens to them carefully. They validate your feelings and make you feel heard. Plus, they know when you just need to rant, so they won’t offer unwanted advice.

10. They Are There In Good Times And In Bad

A friend will be with you through the positive and negative moments in life. Whether you’re excited about your engagement or sobbing over losing a job, they’re right there by your side through it all.

If it’s true friendship, they will also stick around through ups and downs. The challenges you face will make you stronger friends with closer bonds at the end of the day. A fake friend will leave at the first sign of adversity. A real one values your friendship too much to give up.

11. They Love You Just As You Are

Throughout your life, some people will try to change you to be who they want you to be. A true friend is not one of them. They love you for who you are, including for your flaws and silly antics. To them, the person you are is incredible, valuable, and wonderful, and they couldn’t imagine anyone else they would rather be friends with!

Final Thoughts On Some Things A True Friendship Does Differently

Do you have a friend who checks all these boxes? Good news! They’re a true friend! Cherish them and value them, and don’t forget to do all these same things for them, too!

Finding true friends can be difficult. But if you know what to look for, you’ll be able to separate fleeting friendships from ones that will last a lifetime.

The post 11 Habits A True Friendship Does Differently appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

6 Toxic Relationship Habits To Never Ignore

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Everyone wants a happy, healthy relationship. They do everything they can to keep love alive, keep the romance going, and ensure longevity. They might take on habits and actions that they deem to be helpful in ensuring a positive relationship.

But lots of toxic habits and behaviors are normalized and even romanticized, and it’s important to be able to tell them apart from truly positive habits. Luckily, if you are able to spot them, you can stop them from taking over you and your partner before it’s too late.

Here Are 6 Toxic Relationship Habits To Never Ignore

1. Using The Relationship As Leverage

There are a number of ways someone might use a relationship as leverage, but for the most part, they all involve threatening a break-up over some form of conflict or disagreement. This is a form of emotional and psychological blackmail, making it a highly abusive and toxic type of behavior. Here are some phrases a person doing so might use:

  • I can’t date a person who prioritizes their work over their family.
  • If you go on that trip, we’re through.
  • I don’t want to be with someone who can be so inattentive.

One quibble or disagreement shouldn’t be a reason to threaten the entire relationship. A partner who uses your desire to keep a relationship together against you is seeking to gain high ground. They are not interested in proper communication or problem-solving – they just want to “win,” and this kind of attitude is extremely detrimental to a couple.

If you or your partner engage in this type of behavior, it’s time to focus on communication and compromise instead of cutting and running at the first sign of trouble. It’s important to understand that loving someone and being 100% committed to them doesn’t mean you’re going to like or agree with everything they do. Go for feedback and discussion instead of judgemental reactiveness.

2. Beating Around The Bush

Direct communication is very important in ensuring a healthy, positive relationship, but that doesn’t stop a lot of people from neglecting it, especially when they are angry or upset. Here are some ways someone might beat around the bush with their partner.

· Dropping Hints

Dropping hints is a surefire way to get misconstrued or misunderstood. Many people do this in order to avoid being judged or sounding cruel. There’s a difference between stating something in a gentle, tactful manner and completely confusing the other person by hedging around the real issue.

Don’t nudge someone in the right direction; kindly tell them what the issue is and what you need them to do. Be direct about it. You can be firm without being mean!

· Passive Aggression

Passive aggression is rooted in emotional manipulation and mind games that don’t actively solve the problem. It involves a refusal to deal with the problem maturely, instead seeking to “win” or get your way by guilt-tripping the other person.

The correct way to deal with a problem is to have a discussion about it. Passive aggression will only hurt the other person.

· Silent Treatment

This is the opposite of good communication, as it involves no communication at all. Plus, it’s highly emotionally toxic. It’s almost a form of guilt-tripping and it closes off all opportunity for discussion.

If you need time to be quiet and collect your thoughts, tell your partner that you need it. Don’t just fall silent and walk around huffing and giving them the cold shoulder – it’s non-productive and mean.

If you or your partner tend to beat around the bush in your relationship, figure out why that happens. Is there a fear of confrontation? Does one of you tend to lash out at the other? Are there deeper issues at work? Communication is crucial to a relationship’s survival – don’t discount it!

3. Buying Peace

Conversations and discussion are difficult – we know this. Sometimes, if an argument has been going on for too long, partners may attempt to “buy” peace instead of solving the issue. Here are some ways someone might try to buy peace.

· Gifts

A partner might buy you expensive jewelry, flowers, and other presents in order to appease you after a fight, and you may do the same for them. This is all fine if it’s an apology gift after you’ve made up and talked things out – but it’s not good if it’s taking the place of good communication.

· Intimacy

Intimacy is used as a reward, apology, or proof of love in many relationships – in 78% of relationships, in fact! Unfortunately, it is not a positive mechanism for solving problems. It can result in the commodification of intimacy, which is then seen as something to be earned instead of an enjoyable bonding activity between partners.

· Promises

There’s nothing inherently wrong with promises. But making them in lieu of talking about something is dangerous. A partner may refuse to talk about an issue and instead promise to do better next time without even understand what they did wrong. This causes an endless cycle that has no clear solution.

Covering up arguments and problems with gifts or material items and shoving them beneath the rug instead of dealing with them is a surefire way to have them build up. Taking someone out to a nice dinner or buying them a new item is not going to solve the issue. It’s going to fester and grow instead.

4. Keeping Score

Relationships aren’t a competition – or, at least, they shouldn’t be. Here are ways you might be keeping score without realizing it.

· Gifts

Who gives the most gifts to the other? Relationships aren’t about presents, and who gives the most isn’t a viable argument to have.

If you give your partner a lot of gifts and want more from them, talk about it; don’t silently keep score and get increasingly more angry with each additional present you give. Gifts should be given from the heart, expecting nothing in return.

· Mistakes

Remember that one time you messed up at your partner’s family home? How can you forget, when they keep reminding you and using it to prove that you’ve screwed up more than they have?

You and your partner are both human. You are going to make mistakes, and you are going to have to learn more and more as you go. If you’re keeping track of errors and using that to judge who the best partner is, you’re doing it wrong!

· Successes and Failures

A little healthy competition is great, but in some relationships, it can become all-consuming. If you’ve both been gunning for a promotion at your respective jobs and you win it before your partner does, your partner should not become angry. They should celebrate your success with you.

In many relationships, a scorecard of this variety is used as a reasoning for why current wrongdoings are acceptable; this adds a whole additional level of toxicity. Dredging up the past and using a scorecard as proof of your point is only going to guilt-trip your partner. You’re convincing them to view your actions against their track record, instead of taking them at face value.

When a new problem comes up, deal with it in the present and treat it as an individual occurrence – not as an add-on to past problems. If something that happened six months ago is still bugging you, it should have been dealt with six months ago. If needed, deal with it separately, after this current issue is handled.

5. Blaming The Other For Emotional Problems

If you’ve had a bad day or are in a bad mood, the last thing you should do is take it out on your partner. You might find all sorts of excuses as to why it’s their fault, such as:

  • They aren’t being sympathetic enough.
  • They’re too distracted.
  • They haven’t done anything to make your day better.
  • They never care about your problems.

Of course, through the perspective of your upset thoughts and anger, it definitely looks like this. But perhaps your lens is muddy and needs a change. Your partner is not responsible for solving your problems. They are not expected to magically know how to brighten your day. And if you’re in a place where nothing helps, it is unfair to expect the impossible of them.

This type of behavior is very selfish, and it can be dangerous and harmful to your partner. If you need them to make you feel better, tell them. In fact, tell them exactly what you need. Want to be left alone? Need them to listen? To offer advice? Hugs? Their full attention? Be clear.

Worse still, this type of blaming can lead to codependency. Your partner may start to feel like they have to constantly check in with you at every turn and for every single tiny decision, or else face your wrath. If positive thinking just isn’t possible at the moment, take time to yourself and speak to your partner again later.

Most importantly, take responsibility for your own emotions. Your partner should be supportive of you – not obligated to take all your worries away.

6. Expecting A Relationship To Make You Whole

Lots of people perpetuate the idea that when you find the right person, you become “whole,” and two parts become one. They expect everything to fall into place the moment they meet a good dating candidate. This is an immature thought born from romantic movies and novels, and it’s incredibly damaging and toxic in real life.

To say you must love yourself before someone else can love you is mostly accurate. Though it is a little extreme, the concept rings true. You have to be one whole person going into a relationship with another whole person in order to enjoy a successful relationship.

Relationships aren’t designed specifically to make you happy. They’re meant to encourage you to grow. They are meant to provide you with extra positive thinking on your journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. They’re part of your life – they shouldn’t take over all of it.

Final Thoughts On Some Toxic Relationship Habits To Never Ignore

Relationships aren’t easy, but they shouldn’t be toxic. It takes a lot of work and effort to communicate well and maintain positive interactions without any negative habits forming – but it’s definitely worth it.

If you or your partner display any of these toxic relationship habits to never ignore, it’s time to sit down and talk about them. By working together, you can solve the issues you are facing.

The post 6 Toxic Relationship Habits To Never Ignore appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

How to Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

8-Phrases-Manipulators-Use-To-Hide-Their-Intentions-300x169

Manipulative people are difficult to deal with. There is often no end to the tricks they will use to guilt trip you, twist situations, and get what they want from you. The good news is that most of them use the same statements to get their way, so you can prepare to deal with them.

Learning how to respond to the most frequently used psychologically abusive tactics can help you keep yourself safe from even the most brutally manipulative individuals.

How To Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

1. I trust you; I just don’t trust other people.

A manipulative person, especially a partner, might constantly try to control your life. When you ask them why they don’t trust you, they’ll insist that they do, but that it’s other people they can’t trust. They may use this as an excuse to:

  • Check your phone and email
  • Run background checks on your friends
  • Refuse to let you go anywhere on your own
  • Prevent you from spending time with certain acquaintances

This turns the onus around on you, making you seem unreasonable while they look protective and strong. The problem, of course, is that this doesn’t make any sense – if someone untrustworthy is able to convince you to cheat, then you yourself weren’t trustworthy to begin with.

What’s the best response to this situation? Well, it should go a little something like this:

“I’m the person who you are dealing with here. It makes no sense for you to have to trust other people in order to talk to me. By reacting this way, you are making the assumption that I am weak-willed or prone to doing something bad if someone else entices me. It’s very disrespectful and you should trust in my honesty and faithfulness.”

2. You’re being too sensitive/crazy!

This is a type of gaslighting and it can really make you second-guess yourself. When something goes wrong and you try to talk about it or call it out, a manipulator will belittle you for your lack of positive thinking. They might say:

  • Calm down, it was just a joke.
  • Why do you always take everything so seriously?
  • You’re being crazy right now.
  • Stop being so sensitive!
  • You’re overthinking this entire situation.
  • It’s not actually that big of a deal.
  • You’re just misunderstanding me.
  • Lighten up!
  • Nothing you’re saying makes sense.
  • You really need to learn to loosen up a bit.
  • This is so unreasonable of you.

It definitely doesn’t help that manipulators naturally prey on people who are sensitive, in a positive way – people who are empathetic, understanding, and emotionally intelligent. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive to begin with, and it shouldn’t come up when you’re voicing a valid concern.

Gaslighting can make you feel like you’re the crazy one, or like you’re overreacting and being insane. It’s a common manipulation tactic to trick you into giving in. Don’t fall for it! Here’s what you should say instead:

“This is something that is very important to me and it would mean a lot to me if you would listen and hear me out. It’s not fair of you to call me crazy or sensitive just because we don’t see eye-to-eye on something.”

3. I already said sorry; what else do you want?

Apologies are always a good way to go. But manipulators don’t use them when they truly are sorry and seeking forgiveness. Instead, they use it as a quick way to get out of a nasty situation and stop you from being angry or calling them out.

Unfortunately, that’s not how apologies work, especially for more serious transgressions. It’s normal to need to take some time to deal with the aftermath of what the other person did to you. You can’t switch to positive feelings right away.

This is reasonable and perfectly understandable – but a manipulator doesn’t think so. They think that since they’ve dropped the magic word, everything should stop right then and there. Demand a fair amount of time to recover from what happened by saying something like this:

“I really appreciate your apology, but apologizing doesn’t automatically heal all wrongdoings and wounds. Give me some time to process this and heal.”

4. Look what you made me do!

One key sign of a manipulator is that nothing is ever their fault. They refuse to take the rightful blame for anything wrong they do and will find any way to twist it so someone else is at fault. Manipulators are unable to take ownership of their mistakes, so they often try to pass the responsibility to someone else.

These types of people might say a number of different phrases to try to pass themselves off as innocent and pin the blame on you. Of course, it’s ridiculous to be blamed for something you didn’t do at all, especially when it’s the other person who is hurting you. To shut them down, say this.

“I am only responsible for what I do, and you’re responsible for what you do. It was your decision to act how you did, and I cannot make you act in a certain way, nor can I do that to anyone else.”

5. I would never hurt you.

This sounds like a good statement with kind intentions. It sounds reassuring and gentle. But manipulators don’t use it that way – they use it so you brush less obvious forms of abuse under the rug.

For many people, the deal breaker line is drawn at physical abuse. Meanwhile, emotional abuse becomes more and more prevalent, but you’re not as aware of it. This allows many forms of toxicity classified as psychological and emotional abusive to continue.

A manipulator is very aware that your limit likely lies here too, so they’re careful to never cross that limit. Instead, they are abusive in “sneakier” ways that they hope you won’t notice, and they throw you off the scent with phrases like these. So if someone is feeding these lines to you, respond like so:

“You can hurt someone in more ways than physical. Understand that a lack of physical assault doesn’t mean that there isn’t emotional pain.”

6. I already did something nice for you; why are you still angry at me?

Just like with the apologies, manipulators may do a nice thing for you so that you’ll drop some issue. They might buy you something expensive or do you a favor in hopes that your gratefulness will cause you to forget their problematic behavior.

It’s easy to fall victim to this kind of ploy. When someone is kind to you, you might feel bad demanding further apologies or may feel guilty when you are still mad at them. But keep in mind that there is nothing that can “buy” forgiveness. It has to be earned graciously with patience and changed behavior.

If a manipulator is trying to make you feel bad because they bought you a gift, say this:

“It was very kind that you bought this for me, but there’s no price tag on my forgiveness. If you’re attempting to use this present as a bribe for my forgiveness, you can take it back.”

Or, if they didn’t buy you presents:

“It was very kind that you did this for me, but you cannot buy my forgiveness with chores and errands. If you have an ulterior motive for helping me and doing these nice things, then I’d prefer you didn’t do them.”

7. I will hurt myself if you leave me.

This is one of the most dangerous forms of emotional manipulation. Someone who stops you from leaving them, or stops you from doing anything they don’t want you to by threatening to harm themselves, is incredibly toxic and a danger to themselves and to you.

Why is this so problematic? Well, this is the clearest type of manipulation. They don’t want you to do something, so they make it so you will feel guilty and suffer immediate consequences if you do it. That way, they can make themselves look like the victim and paint you in a bad light.

Many people feel pressured into staying with abusive partners because of tactics like this. They force themselves into positive thinking to “save” their manipulative significant other. Don’t fall prey to it. Stand your ground and let it be known that you will not be swayed with a statement like this:

“If you are experiencing these thoughts, please call a suicide hotline or an emergency number. I can help provide numbers for you if you like. I have told you why I have chosen to leave, and my decision is made, so please respect it.”

8. I understand your feelings, but trust me – I know what’s best!

No one should be allowed to make your decisions for you. A manipulator will pretend to be looking out for you but is instead pulling your strings to convince you to do what they want. They’ll use any types of words and phrases to convince you that they understand you when they either don’t at all or really don’t care.

Yes, everyone could use an outside opinion sometimes, but at the end of the day, you still know yourself best. A manipulator isn’t actually seeking what’s best for you – they are selfish and want specific things for themselves, so they’re just trying to rope you along.

In any partnership, you deserve to be respected and heard. Your opinion matters just as much as the other person’s; a lack of willingness to compromise or talk it out, instead resorting to cheap tricks like this, is a huge red flag. Don’t fall for it. Instead, say this:

“To presume that you know what’s best for me, even when I tell you my opinion, is very controlling. I would like for what I have to say to be listened to and respected. I believe that the best thing for us is to make these big decisions together, as what is best for you may not actually turn out to be what is best for me.”

Final Thoughts On How To Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

Dealing with manipulators is exhausting. Although we referenced romantic relationships for many of these instances, they work for all types of people, regardless of your connection to them.

Manipulators come in many forms. They can be your partner, a family member, a friend, a colleague, or even a mere acquaintance who you barely know. Regardless of who someone is to you, manipulation is wrong, and it’s important that you know how to protect yourself. Shutting down their most common phrases will show them that you’re not someone they can play their mind games with.

The post How to Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com