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10 Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and How to Help Turn It Around)

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We all know that one particular individual who is always negative and puts a bad vibe on everything. Sometimes, that person maybe you, even if you don’t realize it. There are many signs of a negative thinker that you may not always consider.

You may always think you are bringing positivity and optimism to a group. If you are exhibiting any of the red flags discussed below, however, you are doing the opposite of that. Negativity doesn’t always mean rudeness or sarcasm, and it can occur in many forms.

A negative thinker may not realize it, but negativity is bad for both their emotional well-being and their health. It can cause negative self-thoughts, judgmental thoughts about those around them, and destructive behaviors. Plus, it can cause high blood pressure, over-production of cortisol, and cause problems in their relationships.

Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker

Hard times will occur, and unexpected obstacles will interfere with your plans. You can’t let your negative thoughts overwhelm you in these instances, though, because the future depends on your positivity. Watch for these red flags in yourself and others that someone is a negative thinker.

1. This Person Often Says, “It’s too good to be true.”

Another phrase you may hear from them is something like, “It’ll never last”. They shut down all possibilities because they think good things will never truly come to them or those around them. This type of mindset forces them to miss out on joy and happiness.

2. Negative Thinkers Dwell on the Past

While the past is essential, it shouldn’t be all-consuming or even causing stress and anxiety. For negative-thinkers, however, they can’t get past what has happened before. It will keep them stuck in a cycle of repetitiveness and displeasure.

Instead, they should think about how their past situations shaped who they are today. They should think about what they learned from it how to avoid it in the future.

3. Negative Thinkers Are Always Judging Other People

If someone is always gossiping and making rude comments about others, they are likely a negative person. It may seem relatively harmless, but when it is a regular occurrence, it’s a sign of negativity toward themselves and others.

Their overly critical personalities are a huge red flag, and it’s something that doesn’t go away on its own. You may often wonder if they are saying mean things about you behind your back. The people in their lives will often wonder if they’ll ever be good enough, too.

4. They Seem Unable to Accept Compliments

Many people have this problem, and you’ll notice it quickly any time you hear them receive a compliment. They will downplay their accomplishments or tell you they don’t believe you when you offer nice words.

This mindset causes people to miss out on the happiness and excitement of achievement. Plus, it can ruin self-esteem because these folks are always thinking negatively about themselves.

5. They Have Trouble Keeping Friends or Relationships

People who aren’t negative don’t enjoy being around negative people. The constant negative remarks can take a toll on any relationship, causing the relationship to end. It’s all about how they present themselves and how they behaved toward the person.

6. People Who Think Negatively Focus on the Problem

Instead of thinking about a solution, a negative person will fixate on the problem. They won’t be able to see a way to fix the problem, and they’ll keep bringing up the negativity. Frequently, they’ll be able to point out where the failure happened, but they still won’t come up with a solution.

7. Negative Thinkers Aren’t Excited About the Future

If someone is overly anxious about the future, they may be a negative person. Likewise, if they won’t do anything to change their future, it’s also a sign. They don’t often explore new opportunities or work on developing skills.

When a challenge arises, they often give up because they can’t process that the future can be better. Since they have already decided that it won’t be better, they’ll do nothing to change it.

8. Negative Thinkers Are Overly Bossy

Negative people like to control everything, and that includes the actions of others. They will try to tell you what to do in your life. Then, they’ll have a negative opinion about every decision you make if it isn’t the decision they suggested.

Even big situations in other people’s lives will warrant a comment from a negative person. From which house they buy to the job they choose, the negative person will weigh in. This is another sign they haven’t gotten their life issues taken care of, and they have a negative personality.

9. Those Who Think Negatively Are Constantly Listening to Bad News

They will always know the latest bad news about those around them and about the world in general. Often, they feed off alarming or shocking news, as it gives them something to discuss. They will keep you well-informed on all the details, even if you aren’t interested.

Unfortunately, over-exposure to negative news can harm a person more than they think. It can cause post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety.

10. Negative Thinkers Are Always Complaining

You will notice a person who complains or whines about every aspect of your life. These are negative people, and they find any tiny detail to complain about.

They make it seem as if everything happens only to ruin their day. This is including the weather and other things that no one can control. This person will also often blame their “bad luck” on their boss or their upbringing. You may notice that they think they are never at fault. They will never admit that their lack of effort, energy, or creative energy is what is holding them back.

negative thinkerHow to Start to Think Positive

1. Start and End Each Day with One Positive Thought

Starting the day with a positive thought can set the tone for the entire day. If you start with a positive idea, you will have a joyous day. On the other hand, if you begin negatively, you’ll have a gloomy day.

Tell yourself that it will be a good day and that you are going to be in a good mood. This will help you get in the right mindset for positivity.

2. Find a Positive in All Situations

Unexpected obstacles or situations are going to occur, no matter what. Remember to stay positive through these situations. You can do this by finding any positive, no matter how small it is.

The positive could be that you had time to listen to your favorite song on the radio. Another option is to find humor in a negative situation. No matter what it is, it will help keep your thoughts positive.

3. Learn from Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, so remind yourself of that next time it happens to you. Instead of thinking negatively about it, use it as a learning opportunity. Figure out an action plan for next time so that you don’t make the same mistake.

4. Eliminate Negative Self-Talk and Implement Positive Self-Talk

You might not notice when the negative self-talk first sets in. As soon as you see, however, you should make a conscious decision to change it. For every negative thought, think two positive ones about yourself.

5. Focus on the Present Moment

Don’t even focus on something that happened five or ten minutes ago. Only focus on this exact moment, and make a change so that it’s a positive one. Frequently, negative thoughts stem from things that have happened previously, so focusing on the present will eliminate that problem.

6. Surround Yourself with Positive People

Positivity is contagious, so when you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll become more positive. From them, you will hear positive comments and outlooks, lively stories, and positive affirmations. These words will positively affect you, and you’ll find yourself having similar thoughts.

Additionally, you need to get rid of other negative people in your life. Just like positivity, negativity is contagious, too. When negative people surround you, you won’t be able to become more positive.

8. Learn to Accept Compliments

It may feel off-putting at first, but force yourself to say “thank you” when someone compliments you. Don’t shrug it off or tell them you don’t believe them. Don’t convince yourself that their compliment had a negative meaning beneath it, either.

When you can do this, you’ll become more positive. Plus, it’ll help boost your self-esteem and confidence.

9. Stop Listening to or Reading Negative News

Hearing negative news each day can take a toll on your mental health. It can force you to think negatively and hinder your ability to be hopeful for the future. Limit your news intake if you feel like it might be affecting you.

negative thinkerFinal Thoughts on Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and how to turn it around)

Everyone experiences negative thoughts sometimes, but if you are a negative thinker, you’ll always have them. Positive people will roll with whatever comes their way and look for the best solution to problems. Try to focus on doing that if you find that you are having negative thoughts.

If you let the negative thoughts take over your life, you will struggle to reach your goals. Use these ideas for how to turn the negativity around so that you can live a more fulfilling life. If you aren’t the negative thinker in your life, share these ideas with the person who is.

The post 10 Red Flags Someone is a Negative Thinker (and How to Help Turn It Around) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

Experts Explain Whether a Nighttime or Morning Shower is Healthier

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Do you like to take a morning shower, or do you prefer to clean up before going to bed? Whether you choose to cleanse your body in the morning or night doesn’t matter. It’s about getting clean. So, which method is the best?

It’s an age-old debate that probably has been going on since the cavemen were rinsing off from their day in basins. Even with all the advancements in science and health, there is still no clear answer to this dilemma. Indeed, we might never have a clear answer–just personal choice. However, you can use science and studies to make an educated decision on when you should shower.

Of course, you must also consider your personal preference as there is no right or wrong answer. Some might say that the answer is just as murky as used bathwater. If you prefer to shower at night, then your theory is that it’s good to wash away all the dirt and grime from the day before you get into bed.

Those individuals who prefer a morning shower like to wash away all the sweat and debris from the night. Since some people sweat heavily during their sleep, it’s understandable how washing away the nighttime and having a fresh start to the day is the way to go.

The sad fact is that you can take a shower but still spread germs and such around on your sheets. It’s common for humans to sweat at night, and all the bacteria that you collect and generate throughout the night are on your sheets and your body. The germs are just sitting on your skin, waiting to make you smell and feel gross during the day.

Advantages of a Morning Shower

The argument for a morning shower is that you start your day fresh and clean, putting you in the right mindset for success. A shower is refreshing and awakens you so that you can be more alert for your day. If you need a creative boost to get you going, or you have a hard time waking up in the am, then a morning shower may be a better choice for you.

Everyone experiences sleep inertia, and it can last for 15-30 minutes after you rise. Your body is starting to wake up and get all your systems going. It can take some people longer than others. A morning shower can help you shake off that sleep inertia and step out on the right note.

Did you know that many people plan their day and deliberate about their problems while letting the hot water pour over their bodies? It’s in these moments that you have a few minutes to ponder your life, and what better time than when you’re lathering up your soap and cleansing away dirt and grime from your rest. Might as well wash a little bit of negativity down the drain too.

A scientific argument for a morning shower is that the hot water activates your “alpha brain waves,” which are known for giving you clarity about your life and situations that you must handle. Some believe it’s like the zoning out experience that you have when you’re doing exercise or meditations as it can get your creative juices flowing.

Advantages of an Evening Shower

Now, if you prefer to wash off the bacteria from the day in a night shower, then you couldn’t imagine changing your bath schedule. Some argue that since you’re rolling around on the sheets, the germs are spread on the surface rather than piling on top of your skin. Additionally, taking a shower before you go to sleep can help set the mood for a good night of rest.

A study showed that if you take a bath about an hour and a half before you go to bed, it will improve your ability to sleep well during the night. Though it was specifically looking at baths, their investigation focused on the warmth felt from the waters, so it can easily apply to a bath or a shower, either one.

Did you know that your body cools down at night, and your circadian rhythm or internal body clock winds down so that you can drift into dreamland? When you take a shower, it raises your body’s temperature ever so slightly, which kickstarts your body into going into the cooling down process. So, it makes it easier for you to sleep, which is ideal for those who suffer from sleep disturbances like insomnia.

What About Baths?

What if you could care less about the time of day you shower but prefer to take a bath and soak away your troubles? Some argue that baths are nasty because you’re sitting in your bacteria and grime washed from your body. Others don’t care because the warm water eases their tired muscles and feels invigorating.

• Old School Bathhouses

Did you know that bathing has been popular since the Middle Ages? While people weren’t as lucky as a civilization today to have indoor plumbing and tubs, they would gather in bathhouses spread throughout the cities. The Egyptians were the ones who revered the bath as they were fanatics about keeping their bodies clean.

Soap was invented around 2,000 B.C., and before this time, people would use things like olive oil to cleanse their skin and scrape it off with a unique tool. You’ve probably heard of The Roman bathhouses as they were made famous by the people in Italy.

A bath in one of these houses was not just an opportunity to get clean, but it was also a reason to come together and assemble. These baths had a cold room that they called a frigidarium. You started here to get your body ready for the tub. Then you went to the warm room, aka the Tepidarium.

The last room was the hot room or the caldarium. The final step in the cleansing process was to take a lovely, cool dip in the swimming pool. Remember, this was before the days of chlorine and other pool cleansers, so can you imagine the bacteria in those pools?

The churches deemed these sinful places. Thus, church leaders stepped in during the 16th century to begin closing these places, which became obsolete shortly after.

They were concerned about the number of children being born from sinful acts in these houses as well as people’s desire to spend more time congregating in the bathhouse and less time in service. Thankfully, history was already moving beyond the need for public bathing as more families installed bathrooms in their homes.

morning affirmations• The Revolution of the Bathroom

By the 14th century, people had begun to build tub structures from trees to put in their bedrooms. The Palace of Westminster was the first official residence to receive a bathroom, and Edward III ordered it. The baths were mostly with cold water unless they took the time to heat a cauldron.

During the 19th century, everything changed. By the late 1800s, bathrooms were commonplace in households, and residents enjoyed taking a warm bath thanks to Benjamin Maughan and his invention of the gas water heater. Baths became more a part of a daily ritual as people didn’t need to travel to a bathhouse or heat water. In this century, toothpaste, paper towels, soap, and other toiletries also became commonplace.

History is fascinating to learn, and you can now see where your daily bathing habits originated. But, it still doesn’t answer whether it’s clean to take a bath. The truth is you’re not getting clean, even if you use soap, by sitting in a tub of water.

Your body sheds about 30,000 skin cells every hour, which is a significant amount. So not only do you have all the filth you wash from your body, but you also have tons of dead skin cells floating around in your water. How can you possibly get clean when you’re sitting in a tub full of bacteria?

If you like to take a bath for the therapeutic benefits that it brings, then rinse off in a quick shower afterward. There are about 200,000 bacteria per square inch in your tub. Thus, it’s easy to see that you’re not doing yourself a favor by soaking to get clean.

morning showerFinal Thoughts on the Night Versus Morning Shower Debate

Whether you prefer a bath or a shower doesn’t matter, the point is that you get clean the way that feels comfortable for you. As to when you take that shower, again, preference comes into play. The ideal thing would be to shower in the evening and then again in the morning, but many people don’t have extra time.

Essentially, your shower schedule appears to depend on whether you require more help going to sleep at night or if you need help with getting your body and mental juices flowing first thing in the morning. There truly is no wrong time of day to get clean.

The post Experts Explain Whether a Nighttime or Morning Shower is Healthier appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

20 Things That Give You a More Peaceful and Happy Home

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You want your home to be a haven of peace, and all those who live there happy and blessed. However, you must realize that a family doesn’t just get this way without some hard work. It takes dedication and a commitment of your time and energy to have a happy and healthy family unit. So how do you create a peaceful place where you can entertain friends, relax, and live in harmony? Well, here are 20 tips that can help you.

20 Ways to Create an Environment for a Peaceful and Happy Home

Are you ready to make your household more peaceful? Try these easy tips.

1. Don’t Take Out Your Frustrations on Family Members

Life is frustrating, and it’s easy to take out those frustrations on your family members. If you want peace in your home, then you need to leave your troubles at the door. When you walk into your abode, it should be a place of peace and tranquility, and the best way you can do that is by not letting the outside problems influence what’s on the inside.

2. Resolve All Conflicts Before You Go to Bed

Unless you’re the perfect family, there will be occasions when you argue or have disagreements. While it’s perfectly normal to have these times of conflict, you should try to resolve all things before going to bed at night. You are not promised tomorrow, and should something happen during the night, you want your partner and children to know that you love them above all else.

3. Assign Tasks for Each Person, So Everyone is Involved in Upkeep

A household cannot run itself, nor can one-person handle everything. The best way to keep your home running like a fine oiled machine is to assign tasks for every person to do. To have a happy home and place to relax, every person must do their job.

4. Always Be Honest

Perhaps one of the things that have the most significant impact in a household is honesty. It means something when you can trust that the other inhabitants are telling you the truth. Even when it hurts or is hard to say, make sure you’re always honest.

5. Make Time For Each Other

Spending time together is the recipe for a happy home. While you may not take exotic vacations, you can watch a movie and pop popcorn together. It’s the little things that have the most significant impacts, especially when it comes to your time together.

6. Have Open Communication and Family Meetings

Family meetings are essential to clear the air. When issues do arise in your family unit, it’s best to meet them head-on rather than to try to sweep them under the rug. At the family meeting, allow everyone to speak what’s on their mind. Together, you can find a good compromise for whatever life throws your way.

7. Take Time for Family Dinners

Outside of entertaining friends, you want to make time for family dinners. There’s something special about the dinner table and sharing all the happenings of the day. Make sure that each person gets a chance to talk about their day, both good and bad. One day, they will remember the magic of sitting around the table, eating good food, and enjoying great conversation.

8. Value Each Other’s Opinions

Each person is a vital part of your happy home, and their opinions matter. Ensure that each person is heard even if it’s just a recommendation on the type of cereal to buy. When everyone feels essential, then the family unit can function healthily.

9. Choose Your Battles Wisely

When it comes to parenting, it’s not an easy task. As a parent, you must choose your battles wisely. This can be an essential bit of advice for your spouse too.

Sure, you may not like that your husband doesn’t shave for three days, but is it hurting you? Your kid may want to dye their hair purple, and you find it embarrassing, but it’s something that must be overlooked.

Remember, the bigger the deal you make of the small issues, the more trouble it will be. If you want something to change, then try using some reverse psychology.

burning sage
Learn the ten healthy benefits of burning sage in your home.

10. Laugh Often

Do you often laugh? How can you have a happy home if there isn’t lots of laughter? Stop being so serious and functioning like a robot.

Take time to tell a funny joke, laugh at something silly that happened to you, or smile. You will be surprised how much better the dynamics of your home when there is plenty of humor.

11. Never Criticize or Be Judgmental

If you want your home to be a place to relax, then you want to feel like you are a contributing member. If you’re continually critical or judgmental of others, then you’re creating a negative dynamic.

No one wants to be judged and feel like they can’t do anything right. Stop being controlling and learn to accept the strengths and weaknesses of others.

12. Celebrate Victories No Matter How Small

An “A” on a math test might not be such a big deal to one child on the honor roll, but to the child who is struggling, that grade may mean everything. Celebrate the little victories as well as the big ones. Each person should feel like their accomplishments matter.

13. Live in the Moment

Do you spend so much time thinking about tomorrow and the day after that you forget to live in the moment? You will blink, and your children will be grown, and you will be in your Golden Years. Don’t forget to take the time to enjoy the here and now. Remember, today is a gift, which is why it’s called the present.

14. Develop a Positive Outlook and Rid Negative Energy

Do you want a happy home with serenity and peace? Well, you must shake off the negative energy that holds you back. Another way that you can help to rid the negativity is by burning sage.

Ancient Indian tribes learned the importance of burning sage to cleanse a space, and you should utilize whatever tools possible to ensure your home is a peaceful haven for all.

15. Spend Money and Time on Making Memories

While it’s fun to entertain friends, you should spend more time making memories. Do you spend your money on material possessions that you can’t take with you when you leave this earth? Why not spend your money on vacations and other adventures that will stick with your family for a lifetime.

Leave a legacy of someone who appreciated serenity and their happy home and lived a life full of adventure.

16. Limit Electronics

Spending too much time on electronics is not advisable. Start small by making dinners smartphone free and setting guidelines for how much time can be spent on television, computers, tablets, and phones.

Did you know that the American Pediatric Association recommends no more than two hours of screen time each day? That means your children shouldn’t be on anything electronic for more than a couple of hours. The effects of too much technology are damaging.

17. Don’t Air Dirty Laundry on Social Media

There’s nothing worse than a person that airs their dirty laundry on social media for all to see. When you have problems that disrupt your happy home, then you need to work on these issues from within. Don’t involve others, especially over social media channels, as it’s a recipe for disaster.

18. Forgive Often

If you want a place to relax and feel at home, you need to learn to forgive. No one can have peace and tranquility if they always feel like someone is holding a grudge against them. Be eager to forgive so that when you do something wrong, you too will be forgiven.

19. Give Preference to Entertaining Friends

There’s something special about inviting friends and relatives over for a barbeque or a cookout. Getting together with others, laughing often, and eating good food is special. You will make memories in your home and ensure that others feel the warmth of your happy place.

20. Don’t Try to Control Everything

Lastly, the best thing that you can do for your mental sanity is not trying to control everything. You must realize that some things are beyond your command.

Use your higher power for guidance and meditate for the times when things can be overwhelming. In this life, it’s impossible to have complete control over everyone or everything. Just do your best to make sure that you are happy and fulfilled, and maybe it will be infectious to others.

happy homeFinal Thoughts on Creating a Peaceful and Happy Home for Your Family

Your home is the place where you hang your hat. It’s the space where you can relax, feel protected, and enjoy the serenity. By following these 20 tips, you can ensure that your home is a happy one where friends gather, and memories are made.

The post 20 Things That Give You a More Peaceful and Happy Home appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

10 Ways to Stop Dwelling on the Past (And Create a Happier Future)

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Life tends to be all about sinking or swimming. Once you’ve experienced the pain of taking on too much and feeling like you’re drowning, it teaches you life lessons. It takes a great deal of effort to stay afloat. However, there is something about rock bottom that teaches you things that you can never learn when you are swimming along peacefully.

When you are at the bottom, you learn how to fight and claw your way back to the surface. You learn the power that you have within you that will sustain you in life. Now, the biggest challenge is to learn how to break away from your past and stop dwelling on those mistakes; it’s easier said than done.

Do you tend to ruminate on your past, and your mind plays a loop of your failures? Why do you keep playing the same movie time and again in your head, and you’re expecting the ending to be different? When you are constantly dwelling on the past, you will reopen wounds that have closed, and it will self-sabotage your determination.

How can you move forward when you are so preoccupied with what’s behind you? Letting go is never easy, but if you don’t get control of your thought processes, then days, weeks, and years will pass without change. To put the past in the past, you must first be willing to take a step forward.

10 Tips to Help You Stop Dwelling on the Past

It’s time for you to move on, and you need to let the universe know that you’re ready for a fresh start and change. There’s no need to be scared because you will stagnate if you never alter or change in life.

Everyone will agree the aroma that comes from stagnant water is pungent. If you’re ready to move on from your past and begin again, here are ten tips to help you.

1. Remember You Write the Story

The great thing about your life is you get to write your story. You will have many chapters, but each of these chapters will tell a story of a time or period you endured. Some chapters will be exciting and full of love and hope, which others will reflect on the darkest times in your life.

You will have support characters, people who are there for only a season, and those who shake things up. Take a good look at your novel and identify the chapter you’re currently in. Now, the great news is that you get to write the ending too.

Remember, no one else can write your story like you, so make sure that you give the novel plenty of interest and love.

2. Learn from Your Mistakes

The book of your life would be a pretty boning read if there were some intrigue, mystery, and drama. Consider a baby learning to maneuver in their new world. It takes them several times to fall before they learn to walk.

However, the young child soon learns what they need to do so that they don’t fall. The same analogy applies to you. You eventually know what you need to do to keep from making the same mistakes in life. Rumination and dwelling on the past only hurt you. Use your failures as motivation for the future.

3. Trust the Process

Do you ever wonder how your life would have been if you had made different choices? Did you know that you’re one decision away from a whole new life? Each choice you make is important because it defines that chapter in your life’s story.

Sometimes, things won’t work in your favor, and other times, you will master it all. The connection to why these things happened will become apparent in the future. If you’re constantly dwelling on the past, you might resist the good things in store for you.

You must trust the process and give yourself a pat on the back that you’ve made it thus far.

4. Look to the Future

Your strength may be limited, but the things you can achieve in your life are limitless. Keep in mind; you are utilizing strength and energy when you’re dwelling on the past, worrying, or angry. It’s exhausting trying to focus on things that are out of your control.

Letting go is so tricky, but in time you will learn to build and trust. The wonderful thing about letting go of excess baggage is that you’re clearing the way for new adventures. There are reasons for change, and when you resist these changes, you could be preventing some of the most extraordinary experiences of your life from occurring.

5. Find Inspiration in Others

Do you think that you’re the only one with problems? Life is all about the ups and downs and the valley. It seems so lonely when you’re at rock bottom, but you may use this time to draw inspiration from others.

One of the most powerful platforms ever created was Ted Talks. People share their stories of facing insurmountable odds and coming through victorious. You can find just about any topic and subject to draw strength.

If you aren’t much for podcasts, then you might try an online support group. It’s incredible what it does to your spirit when you read of others and their tales of the human spirit’s ability to overcome.

pop meme

6. Meditation and Developing a Proper Mindset

Dwelling on the past puts you in a negative mindset. There have been numerous studies done on the effects of negative thinking. If you speak positive things, then you will be optimistic.

However, if you are continually living in a negative realm, your life will have a pessimistic outlook. You can change your thoughts by using meditation. If you’re new to this art form, you might want to try a guided meditation to erase negativity.

Your mindset means everything, so it’s time to change it for good. Stop looking at your past as a life sentence. It’s in the past for a reason, and you need to leave it there. Through mindful breathing and meditation, you can conquer some of your biggest inner struggles.

7. Stop Playing the “What If” Game

Does any of these questions sound like you: “What if I didn’t marry that person?” “What if I didn’t buy this car?” “What if I didn’t move across the country and try this adventure?” There are lots of questions that you ask yourself daily that you cannot answer.

While it’s hard to look at things positive when they turned out to be a disaster, try focusing on the right parts. For instance, your marriage might have been a wreck, but you have a beautiful child that you adore. If it weren’t for that marriage, then you wouldn’t have your baby. Even the darkest of clouds can have a silver lining.

8. Develop a Positive Mantra

You’re human, and it’s nearly impossible to stop all the evil thoughts. Every time thoughts of your past come up and bother you; you need to have a mantra that you quote to clear your mind.

For instance, if you found yourself once addicted to drugs and alcohol, but you’ve been clean for ten years, it’s a significant achievement. When your mind wanders back to those horrible events, tell yourself that you’re more powerful than the pain, and you will use your life for good.

You can use your past to help others who are not as far along on the journey. Then, you’re taking the bad that happened to you and turning it into a positive. Rumination and dwelling on the past are only useful if it’s helping someone else.

9. Stop Playing the Victim

Some people love playing the victim card because it feels good to get attention.

At some point in your life, you must move from victim to victor. Dwelling on the past should never be something you use for people’s pity or to get attention. Plus, this negativity will hold you back and won’t allow you to move on.

10. Get Help

If no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get past the past, then you need to seek professional help. Therapy is an excellent outlet for you to vent your frustrations, process them, and then move beyond that stagnating position.

It’s never easy to change, and there are times when you want to run away and hide. However, there’s something very freeing when you talk about the issues with a third party who is objective. They can help you make sense of the madness and put things into perspective.

It would help if you found the strength within you to move past these events. You know how annoying the old record players were that would get stuck on a scratch and play the same sentences over and over?

Well, you’re doing the same thing inside your head. Ruminating on your mistakes can cause excessive anxiety, depression, and other mental health disturbances. You owe it to yourself and your family to move on.

dwelling on the pastFinal Thoughts on How to Stop Dwelling on the Past

Dwelling on the past holds you back from entering the next significant phase of your life. Consciously work at removing these barriers from your mind. Only then will you be free to attain all your goals and dreams.

The post 10 Ways to Stop Dwelling on the Past (And Create a Happier Future) appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

20 Easy Ways to Impress Your New Crush

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Do you think you are falling for someone? Does he feel the same way? There’s no way to know for sure when it comes to matters of the heart. When you are interested in a new crush, you might feel afraid to make the first move. And you definitely want to impress that potentially special someone.

So what’s a person to do to attract the right kind of attention? Here are 20 ways to impress your new crush and ensure they take notice.

Twenty Ways to Make a Lasting Impression on Your New Crush

1. Be Open and Genuine

There’s nobody in the world quite like you, and there never will be. Why would you want to be anybody else? Your new crush wants a person who is genuine and confident.

Although you want to make a great first impression, try to relax and just be yourself. Let your new crush see you for who you are. When you keep your body language neutral and receptive, you will show an interest in her that she will notice. Let her fall in love with the real you, not a façade.

2. Smile and Have a Sense of Humor

Physical attraction is a much-misunderstood aspect of human relationships. Real, inward beauty is most important, and it’s what will make your relationship last. However, outer beauty is what will attract him in the first place. It’s the only way he can get to truly know you.

Long after your new crush forgets what you were wearing when he first met you, he will remember your smile. A lovely, genuine smile costs you nothing, but it’s more valuable than any gold or diamonds you could wear. Not only does your grin show an interest in him, but it also conveys your sense of joy and humor.

3. Be a Good Listener

Everyone wants someone to show an interest in their life. Nothing is more unappealing than a bore who can’t talk about anything else but himself. If you want your new crush to blossom into a fulfilling relationship, you need to be a good listener.

Practice active listening skills like open body language, mirroring, no interruption, and clarification. Ask her about her day and other questions about things that are important to her.

4. Be Positive

Who likes hanging around a “Negative Nelly?” Guys enjoy talking with women who are upbeat and make them laugh. Being positive doesn’t mean you have an unrealistic view of the world. There are injustices and negative influences in everyone’s lives that must be addressed.

However, there are too many happy things to discuss rather than dwelling on the negative aspects. Be a great conversationalist and talk about things that make her satisfied and dwell on the beautiful things in life. When you radiate joy and positive energy, it makes you even more attractive to a prospective suitor.

5. Take Pride in Your Appearance

You already realize that your new crush was first attracted to you by your appearance. Now that you have his attention, how you look will be even more critical. How else is he going to discover how beautiful you are on the inside as well as the outside?

Getting used to each other is not an excuse to let yourself go. When you are meticulous with your grooming and individual style, it shows your new person that you have self-confidence. He should never be embarrassed to be seen with you in public.

What guy would be impressed to see his lady with no makeup, hair scrunched up like a rat’s nest, browsing through the department store in her slippers and pajamas? Guys, no woman is attracted to a scrubby dude. Look your best and carry yourself with self-respect and dignity.

6. Know How to Have Fun

One of the many blessings of having a steady love interest is that you don’t always have to do things alone. To keep your new crush interested, you must show them that you know how to have a good time. Boredom is the kryptonite of a lasting relationship.

You needn’t spend a fortune to have fun together. Think of exciting places to go or things to do. Don’t start your relationship by getting into a date night rut. Be creative, and keep your sweetheart’s interests in mind.

7. Don’t Be Clingy

Do you want to destroy a budding relationship quickly? Just start texting and phoning him non-stop and whine when he can’t be with you every second. Such behavior spells clingy and desperate, which is most unattractive. You needn’t be aloof, but don’t appear to be needy and controlling.

8. Be Spontaneous

Have you ever heard that variety is the spice of life? Nothing could be more accurate when it comes to relationships. Stay one step ahead of her and keep her guessing what you’ll do next. Meet after work all dressed up and have tickets to a musical she’s dying to see.

Go beyond the norm and do something thrilling together, like hand gliding or exploring a local cave. Instead of your usual Saturday date night, why not plan a surprise getaway to a quiet cabin in the woods? Do the unexpected, and your relationship will always be fresh and fulfilling.

9. Be Open About Your Feelings

Of course, you don’t want dates with your new crush to seem like a therapy session. While it’s good to have each other lean on, you don’t want to go overboard. Neither do you want to keep your emotions penned up in a stoic hush?

Be honest with your feelings and allow your beau to be frank with his. Remember that women tend to be more in touch with their emotions than men are. Be empathetic with one another, and don’t be afraid to say how you feel. It will draw you closer together.

10. Keep the Past in the Past

Many people make the mistake of unloading their romantic history on their new love interest in the beginning. Does he need a running list of your broken relationships and why you despise your former lovers? Remember that being honest doesn’t mean to tell everything you know.

Again, stay positive and don’t spend precious time bad-mouthing people. It will only make you look petty and perhaps a liability in the relationship. Keep any lessons you’ve learned from past experiences in your heart and get rid of the rest.

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11. Be on the Same Page

Perhaps nothing could be more painful and embarrassing than assuming a love interest where there isn’t one. If you are crushing on her, are you sure that she feels the same way? Is it something that may lead to a closer relationship, or is it a passing infatuation?

12. Be Polite

Since when was being a rude attractive? Please note how your new crush treats you because it can reflect how he will treat you in the future. Guys, women still love to be treated like a lady, so be polite with your manners. Does your love interest show courtesy to others?

13. Be Curious, But Not Invasive

When you start dating a new love interest, of course, you have many questions to ask. The whole concept of dating is to get more acquainted with each other. You’ll have a plethora of things to discuss and discover about your love interest.

However, this is a budding relationship that must grow in rapport and trust. Please don’t rush in like a roving reporter and make her feel like she is being interviewed. Talk about your interests and your family life, but make sure you keep your questions general and non-threatening.

14. Random Acts of Love

Isn’t it funny how small, random acts of love mean so much in a relationship? It’s a chance to use your passion and creativity together. Write a little love note and leave it in a place where she’s sure to see it.

Can you imagine his surprise when he sees a single red rose on his desk with a card from you? It’s these little gestures that let him or her know that you are thinking about them.

15. Start a New Tradition

While spontaneity is vital for a healthy relationship, so are traditions. They keep you grounded as a couple and make you remember who you are. Think about starting a tradition that will mean something to you both.

It could be visiting a favorite restaurant once a week or playing your favorite love song to each other and dancing the night away. Do something special that is just meant for you two.

16. Join the Gang

If you’ve decided to take a step from friendship to a love relationship, you’ll want a chance to blend into each other’s group of friends. It’s a great way to officially announce your love so that people will know you as a couple. If you have other platonic relationships, they should be friends with you both.

17. Set Boundaries

Is he interested in dating you seriously? Or is he expecting to date other women? It may take a few dates to see where your relationship is heading. Set boundaries early in the relationship, so each of you knows what to expect from the other.

18. Be Attentive

Do you know when your sweetheart has done her hair differently or is wearing a new fragrance? Has your beau trimmed his beard, especially for you? Pay attention to these things and be complimentary, and your lover will be glad you noticed.

19. Take Time

If you have a plant and don’t water or give it care, it will die. The same thing can happen in a relationship. While you both need personal space, you must take time for one another and blossom in love.

Outside of your work commitments and other obligations, your love interest should take a top spot in your life.

20. Be Faithful

Has your crush turned into a committed relationship? Be a faithful lover and avoid the temptation of straying. Even if you are texting or emailing intimately with somebody else, it’s still cheating.

your new crushFinal Thoughts on Impressing Your New Crush

Having a new crush can be an exciting point in your life. Maybe this will be your forever person. Being honest and having open communication can make the difference in a lasting relationship. Most of all, take care of yourself regardless of the outcome of this budding romance. Good luck with your new relationship.

The post 20 Easy Ways to Impress Your New Crush appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love

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Is your union secure, and you feel that you will never fall out of love? Don’t be so sure that you and your partner are solid. You’ve probably heard that 50 percent of all marriages in this country end in divorce.

The American Psychological Association backs up this statistic. Breaking up is hard to do, yet sadly many couples don’t make it beyond the five-year mark. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to tell if you and your significant other will fall out of love long before it happens?

Thankfully, there are ways to tell if your relationship will last. You can examine things like your communication skills, bedroom habits, and how often you argue as indicators if you will make it for the long haul.

Here are thirteen signs that point to a rocky relationship that might not make it to forever.

1. You Take Your Anger Out on Each Other

Did you know that when you love someone, you are more likely to take your anger out on them? The key is that you interact more with your partner than you do anyone else, so it’s only natural to take out some of your frustrations on them. A study conducted in 2014 showed that this aggression is harmful to a relationship, and it pushes your lover away rather than bringing them closer to you.

2. There’s No Gratitude

Do you appreciate it when your partner spends the whole day cleaning and making a home-cooked meal for you? You should always pay attention to the smallest of things, and make sure you thank them for their efforts. Did you know that when you take a partner for granted, you undermine your relationship?

When you forget to say how thankful you are for their efforts, then you can compromise the physical and emotional health of the relationship. Gratitude should always be a part of your love language.

3. You Try to Change Each Other

One of the easiest ways to fall out of love is when a person won’t align with your perfect idea of a mate. Did you get together with your partner in the hopes that they would become someone else? Having a long-term relationship with someone who you want to change is never going to work.

Have you ever heard the old saying that a tiger doesn’t change their stripes? It’s because they can’t change who and what they are to appease you. Sure, some natural changes occur when you’re in love, but don’t expect to make them an entirely new person to fill your needs as it won’t work.

4. You Forgive, But You Don’t Forget

Every relationship has issues that require you to ask for forgiveness. While you forgive your partner, you must also forget the matter. Now, your brain can’t forget, but you can’t bring up the previous issues every time they make you mad in the future.

When one person is keeping score of the other’s wrongdoings, it sets a negative relationship dynamic. Part of loving and forgiving your spouse means that you release the issue and don’t use it to browbeat your partner with in the future.

5. There Are Trust Issues

When there are trust issues in a union, it makes for a rocky relationship. Sure, trust is not an easy thing to build, mostly if you’ve been burnt in the past. However, you must have a little faith in the person you are with if you want to grow old together.

When the foundation of your relationship is shaky from mistrust, then you can ensure that there will be physical and emotional problems with your union. At one point, you can almost guarantee that your partner will become tired of the trust issues and walk.

6. The Relationship is Full of Secrets

Do you have secrets that you keep from your partner? When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s no fun to keep secrets. Sadly, many secrets cause you to lie.

When a partner tells the other that you can’t handle the truth, then they are saying that they don’t trust you with everything. Secrets in a relationship are one sure way to fall out of love.

compatibility

7. There is No Compromise

What fun is a relationship if you never get any say? If you pick the restaurant this week, then your partner should get to choose next time. When one person dominates the union and makes all the decisions, it’s hard for the other person to feel important. Relationships are all about give and take, and compromise is essential.

8. You’re Not on The Same Page

For a relationship to be successful, you must both be going in the same direction. While you may think that love conquers all, it doesn’t. You must agree on the fundamentals, like if you want kids, saving money, and where you will live.

It’s easy to fall out of love when your goals don’t align. The differences between you and your spouse may start as a small annoyance, but they can fester into a significant wedge if allowed.

9. You Won’t Take Any Blame

Remember, as a kid, when nothing was ever your fault? You would always point your finger at your sibling or a friend to keep from getting into trouble. Sadly, this behavior can carry on with you into adulthood, causing you all kinds of problems.

You are not perfect, and your spouse can’t expect that you will be. However, it would help if you took your share of the blame with household and relationship issues. Let’s assume that you go over your grocery budget by $500 this month.

Rather than putting all the blame on your spouse, you must also take your part in the responsibility. Even if your partner does all the grocery shopping and cooking, you still have a hand in the matter. It may be that they need help with this aspect and rely on fast food and fancy eateries to cope with a lack of time.

Since groceries and eating is something you both enjoy, you must equally take responsibility in matters such as this one. Don’t be so eager to blame shift, or it’s one of the signs that you will fall out of love.

10. There Are Unrealistic Standards

Humans make mistakes, as no one is perfect. Your spouse is doing the best they can, but they are not infallible. If you expect your partner to be 100 percent perfect all the time, then you have unrealistic expectations.

When one person has such high requirements of the other one, it’s easy to become frustrated. Your partner will think that they can never please you, and you will feel that your partner doesn’t measure up. Stop playing the judge and quit expecting perfection.

11. You See Your Partner as Inferior

Relationships, where one person elevates their worth above the other is a recipe for disaster. When you have contempt for your significant other, it’s a telltale sign that divorce is looming. Do you continuously criticize what they do, show disrespect, are defensive, and stonewall them?

These are all indications that there is a deep rift in the union. A study in 2010 found that when one party shows content for the other, then it’s the “kiss of death” in a relationship.

12. Your Emotions Share No Similarity

Everyone has different emotions, but it can complicate things when conflict arises. If one person cries when they feel rage while the other hardly sheds a tear, it can be hard to be on the same page. Your emotional ranges don’t have to be the same, but they need to complement the other one.

For instance, if one person tends to shout and call names when you’re arguing, it can make the timid person who would never say anything wrong about you feel awful. You should have emotional similarities, or the imbalance can cause you to fall out of love.

13. You Stop Going on Dates

It takes a lot of hard work to keep a relationship alive, and it’s easy to fall into old routines. Once you commit to living together, you must try hard to make sure that romance doesn’t become automatic. Most couples waste their time on mundane tasks like grocery shopping, paying bills, or working.

However, everyday life can be far from romantic or exciting. You must make a special effort to ensure that you still do all those little things to keep the spark alive. Take your partner to the movies or out to a nice dinner.

You must put as much work into your relationship to keep your spouse as you did to attract them. Yes, you must still go on dates, even if you’ve been together for 20 years.

fall out of loveFinal Thoughts on Recognizing the Traps That Cause Couples to Fall Out of Love

Do you see things on this list that show that you are in a rocky relationship? You can alter the course of your union by making some changes now. If you can’t seem to get on the same page with your partnership, then ask a counselor to help you sort things out.

It’s easy to fall out of love when massive issues make everyday life together challenging. So, if these issues exist, then you must work hard to alter then for the sake of your relationship.

The post Therapists Reveal 13 Reasons Couples Fall Out of Love appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

15 Habits That Reveals Someone Has a Lack of Motivation

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Do you consider yourself a mover and a shaker? Does your natural sense of inner-drive and tenacity make you focused on what you want in life? Or perhaps a lack of motivation keeps your dreams slightly out of reach.

Remember that you are human, and nobody stays motivated 100 percent of the time. If you are working on a project or your life’s goals, you need some staying power.

These Fifteen Habits Might Point to a Lack of Motivation

Here are fifteen habits that could indicate a lack of motivation and how to fix them.

1. Procrastinating

Does chronic procrastinating stand in the way of accomplishing great things in life? It’s like any other bad habit that needs nipped in the bud and replaced with good habits. You can overcome procrastination with time and self-discipline.

One of the main reasons you may procrastinate is that you look at the big picture, which intimidates you. So, you decide you don’t want to do anything. Instead, break the goal into smaller tasks that are manageable. As you accomplish each mission, you’ll get the confidence to continue until you complete your plan.

2. Does Not Accept Challenges

Boredom is the enemy of success, and it’s an easy trap you can fall into without realizing it. Do you feel a satisfying challenge each day, or do you feel like nothing changes? Perhaps you are afraid to accept a challenge and step out of your comfort zone.

Before you can grow physically, mentally, and spiritually, you need to evaluate your current conditions and attitudes. If you don’t, your life will stagnate, and you’ll never reach success. A person who does not accept challenges can’t grow.

3. Fails to Self-Educate

Learning and education don’t end after you graduate from high school and college. It’s a life-long process that maintains your memory and cognitive functions. When you lack motivation, learning new concepts and different ways to do things may not be as important.

If you want something harmful enough, are you willing to work and study it all you can? What if you’ve always dreamed of owning your own business. How motivated are you to research starting a business from scratch and marketing your skills or products?

When you are determined to educate yourself on the necessary steps to achieve your goals, a lack of motivation won’t be a problem. If it’s learning a new skill or discovering better ways to complete tasks, self-education can give you the empowerment you need. Refuse to be the person who fails to self-educate.

4. Sets Non-specific Goals

Remember when you were in high school, and your parents and teachers asked you what your life goals were? Maybe you had a few specific ideas, but most of your plans were vague since young people have difficulty seeing that far ahead. As an adult, not having a solid plan can result in a lack of motivation and an unsure future.

Brainstorming is an ideal way to list all your goals and clarify them. In comparison, you may be optimistic about what you want in the next five years, the steps you need to take maybe hazy. Break each goal down into small, precise steps, and your path to success will be more apparent.

5. Defeated Posture

Have you ever seen marathon runners poised at the starting line? As they anticipate the whistle, their posture shows that they are confident and determined to win the race. For these athletes, the race is first won in their minds, and it matters how they carry themselves.

What does your posture say about your inner drive? When you have a lack of motivation, your posture has a depressive nature, and your whole body is slumped. Your head low, and you may appear to be moving in slow motion.

Be like the marathon runner and use the posture of a winner. Keep your back straight, shoulders back, and your head up. When you practice good posture, your body feels better, and you feel like doing more. People will also look at you and assume you are a self-confident person who knows what you want.

6. Low Expectations

It must have been a sad person who recommended always to expect the worst, so you can be surprised if the outcome is positive. How can you achieve your goals if you don’t even believe it can be done? If you have low expectations of what you can do, that’s probably what you’ll get.

When you are working on a project or goal, expect the best results. Don’t lower your standards because of fear that you’ll fail. Maintain a positive attitude and see what happens.

7. Feeling Overwhelmed

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you look at a project as a whole and not in small parts. When you feel frustrated, you often want to throw up your hands and quit. How do you keep focused?

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stand back for a bit. See how you can break your project into smaller ones and build on each success. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

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8. No Motivational Habits

What is your motivation style? Are you a thinker or a doer? If you don’t have any motivational habits, you can’t accomplish anything.

Cultivate good motivational habits, like setting goals and follow-through. If you are weak in one area, see how you can work to make it stronger. Consider what you did in the past to finish a project successfully, and you should utilize those skills to make future endeavors a success too.

9. Low Self-Esteem

When you allow negative attitudes to control your mind, it affects your self-esteem. If you don’t believe in yourself, then who will? It’s challenging to motivate yourself to try harder if you lack confidence in your abilities.

Identify self-defeating thoughts, and don’t allow them to crush your esteem. Be your cheerleader, and you must adopt a can-do attitude. You may be surprised at what you can accomplish.

10. Never Taking Responsibility

Are you the kind of person who will never admit blame, even when you know it’s deserved? To be successful, you must take responsibility when you drop the ball. Blaming others for your shortcomings will only hurt you in the long run.

When it comes to your personal goals, the buck stops at your doorstep. Learn to admit mistakes and learn from them. You will get more respect from others and for yourself.

11. Displays a Negative Attitude

Some people are like Eeyore, the sad-sack little donkey from the classic Pooh stories. No matter how good things are going, they will complain anyway. It’s almost like a dark storm cloud that follows them and fills the atmosphere with gloom and doom. Does that sound familiar?

Having a positive outlook is just as easy as being negative. Refuse to let a negative attitude sway you from your goals. Try to keep focused on the positive things you’ve accomplished and build on them.

12. Use Lack of Motivation as a Label

One of the worst excuses for a lack of motivation is to accept it as part of your personality. Are you going to give yourself a negative label and let your dreams fall through your fingers? It’s time to rip off that self-defeating label and bring on a new one.

Instead of accepting failure, hold yourself accountable to accomplish your plans or projects one step at a time. Do you have difficulties staying focused? Have your mate, a trusted friend, or family member be your go-to support.

13. Fear of Failure

Think of all the great American inventors throughout history, like Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, or Alexander Graham Bell. Do you think they got everything right on the first try? What would our world be like if these brilliant minds would have given up because they were afraid of failure?

Do you lack motivation because you are afraid of being labeled a failure? The only true failure would come from not trying at all. Take a lesson from successful people around the world who had their share of failures before realizing their dreams.

14. Unhealthy Lifestyle

When you don’t feel well most of the time, it stands to reason that you would lack motivation. A poor diet and a sedentary lifestyle can wreak havoc on your physical and mental well-being. It can lead to debilitating diseases or contribute to premature death.

If you want the energy and stability to realize your dreams, you need a healthy body. Talk to your primary healthcare provider about a diet and exercise regimen that is best for you. A healthy lifestyle may prolong your life so you can do more of what you’ve always wanted.

15. Lack of Patience

Today’s world is founded on instant gratification. When you go through a fast-food drive-thru, dial your phone, or log onto the Internet, you expect results. Making goals for your future doesn’t work like that.

Have you ever noticed that when you fumble through something to get it done, you never get the results you wanted? Impatience can put a damper on your goals and make you give up in frustration.

Patience is a virtue worth having, especially when it comes to being motivated. Using a timeline for your goals can help you stay focused. Keep in mind that things can always change, and you must be flexible and patient for long-term success.

lack of motivationFinal Thoughts on Identifying a Lack of Motivation–and Striving to Overcome the Challenge

When you are determined to succeed, lack of motivation won’t be an issue. People can inspire you to some degree, but you are responsible for your hopes and dreams. Once you identify that keeping on track is an issue, you can address it head-on and overcome it. So stay motivated, work hard, and you will see the results.

The post 15 Habits That Reveals Someone Has a Lack of Motivation appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

20 Text Messages to Send to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Surprisingly, sending text messages to your partner can help strengthen your relationship. When they know you are thinking of them, it’ll deepen your connection and let them know you are supportive. Even if you think your partner knows how you feel about them, they still need to hear it. They’ll appreciate the thought, and it’ll make their feelings for you more substantial, too.

While sending text messages can strengthen your relationship, it can harm the relationship if not done correctly. Sending sweet text messages to let your partner know you are thinking of them is perfect. On the other hand, you shouldn’t use text messages to:

-apologize

-discuss important issues

-make decisions

-send too many text messages without getting anything in return

Text Messages to Send to Strengthen Your Relationship

Every relationship needs consistent work to strengthen your relationship. New relationships require work to build and maintain the bond that is developing. Send these text messages to strengthen your relationship and show them how supportive you are and how much you care.

1. “Good morning! I woke up thinking of you, and I still can’t stop.”

When your partner knows you’re thinking of them first thing in the morning, it’ll make them feel good. They’ll see that they are essential to you and that you want them to know it. Plus, it will make them think of you, too, and they’ll be looking forward to spending time with you.

2. “I can’t focus on anything else today because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

When you can’t stop thinking of someone, let them know. Better yet, if they are making you distracted, let them know that, too. They will be flattered that you are thinking of them so much, and it will make your relationship stronger.

3. “Good night, my love. I’ll be thinking of you while I drift asleep tonight.”

Telling your partner that you’re thinking of them before falling asleep is sure to strengthen your bond. It’s a sign that you want to be more serious and that you aren’t thinking of anyone else. When they receive that text message at night, they’ll likely spend their night thinking of you, too.

4. “I am so proud to have you in my life. You’re an inspiration, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for our future together. You amaze me.”

When your partner knows you are supportive and proud of them, they’ll love you even more. You should always praise your partner’s achievements and efforts. Plus, you should always let them know that you are impressed by them.

5. “You make me a better person. I love who I am when I’m with you.”

Spending time with the right person can make you strive to be better. Without even realizing it, you will be the person you want to be when you are with them. Let your significant other know this, and you may find out they feel the same way about you.

6. “I woke up thinking it was going to be a bad day, but then I remembered that I get to see you later. I can’t wait for that moment.”

Reaching out to someone you love is the best way to make a bad day better. Thinking about spending time with them later will make it even better. If you let them know this, they’ll feel giddy and excited about seeing you, too.

7. “I still get butterflies when I think about you. You’re on my mind all day, and I am so grateful that you are mine.”

If you let your partner know you still get butterflies when you think about them, they’ll be happier, too. Since these feelings tend to wear off, they’ll appreciate knowing you still feel excited about being with them.

8. “I feel at home when I’m with you, and right now, I’m missing home. I can’t wait to cuddle and spend some time together.”

When you feel at home with someone, you know you’ve found something special. They’ll know it, too, as long as you communicate those feelings with them. It’s a sweet and romantic text to send, and they’ll be looking forward to the time together, too.

9. “I never knew I could love someone as much as I love you. Thank you for coming into my life and choosing to stay here. You mean so much to me.”

Those who haven’t found the right person may not realize how strong that love will be. Once you know it, however, make sure to keep that person around. Let them know you are appreciative of your time together and let them know how special they are.

10. “I can’t stop thinking about your smile, and that look you get in your eyes. I’m fascinated by you, and I spend all my time looking forward to seeing you again.”

Pointing out the things you love about your partner is sure to strengthen your relationship. They will learn to love those things about themselves, too, if they know that you do. Never underestimate the power of flattery with someone you love.

relationship-quote

11. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. All of your secrets, thoughts, and memories. Mostly, I want to listen to your voice as your eyes light up while you tell me.”

Wanting to know the deepest secrets of someone means you want a stronger relationship. You have likely already realized it, and your partner will recognize it after receiving this text. It will give them a good feeling all day, and they’ll look forward to sharing.

They’ll want you to share your secrets, memories, and thoughts, too. This will give you a stronger bond and bring more meaning to the relationship.

12. “I’ve been thinking about you all day. Can I see you tonight?”

Letting your partner know you have been thinking of them will make them excited and happy. Then, letting them know you hope to see them that day will make it even better. They’ll be excited to make plans and spend the rest of their day looking forward to it.

13. “Because of you, my life is amazing. I’m so proud of all you have accomplished, and I’m thankful for what you do. I’ll support anything you do in the future because I want to be there for it all. I love you.”

Always let your loved ones know when you are proud of them. They’ll see that you are supportive and caring. Plus, if you let them know you are thankful, too, they’ll feel even better about the relationship.

By telling them that you look forward to being by their side in the future, they’ll know you’re genuinely invested. This will help them open up to you, ensuring the strengthening of your relationship.

14. “I can’t stay away from you. My life seems perfect when you’re around.”

When you can’t stay away from someone, and you’re happy to be there, let them know. Letting your loved one know how special they are to you will deepen the relationship you have. Never keep these feelings to yourself if you want to see the relationship grow.

15. “I don’t know a lot about life, but I do know I never want to let you go.”

There are so many unknowns in life, and pretending to know everything doesn’t help. When you admit you have faults and don’t know everything, your partner is more likely to believe you. So, when you follow it up with not wanting to let them go, they’ll believe it.

16. “You deserve everything you want in life, and I want to make sure you get it. I’ll spend my time making sure you’re happy.”

When someone knows you want to do anything in your power to bring them happiness, they’ll be more trusting. This will allow them to open up more quickly and come to you for comfort.

17. “Thank you for being so good to me. I’m glad you are in my life.”

Always thank someone for being good to you and making you happy. Show your appreciation for them, and they’ll be sure to love you more.

18. “I keep thinking about the fun we have together. You always make me appreciate life more. I had the best time, and I can’t wait to do it again.”

Bringing up positive memories from the past can help strengthen your relationship. It’ll bring back those happy feelings and make them want to experience it again.

19. “I’m so lucky to have you. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you more than you know.”

As stated before, letting your loved one know that you appreciate them is beneficial to your relationship. When they see that you feel lucky, they will feel blessed, too, knowing they have someone so thoughtful.

20. “I can’t help but smile all day, thinking about how happy you make me. Spending time with you is the best part of my day.”

When your partner knows how happy you are to be with them, they’ll feel the love. Let them know you enjoy spending time with them and that they are important to you.

strengthen your relationshipFinal Thoughts on Text Messages to Send to Strengthen Your Relationship

Remember to let your partner know when you are thinking of them. Tell them your deepest feelings, and make sure they know how special they are to you. Studies show that communicating in intimate ways is essential to building a healthy relationship. These types of text messages can allow you to communicate more effectively. When you can read and edit before you hit send, you’ll be sure to send the right message.

The post 20 Text Messages to Send to Strengthen Your Relationship appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

7 Simple Ways To Change How You Think And Live

change-your-life-2

Change is inevitable. It can be frightening, it can be sought after, and it can even be so subtle that it goes unnoticed, but one thing remains constant: change is always happening all around you.

If you’re looking to change aspects of your life for the better, you’ve probably found that it’s much easier said than done. Luckily, with the right habits, you can take steps towards improving yourself and enacting change in yourself in the best ways possible. Here are seven simple ways to change how you think and live.

1. Don’t Dwell On Regrets

Regrets are a part of life. It’s normal to experience some degree of remorse over past actions, missed opportunities, and bad decisions. But that outcome does not mean you should dwell upon your regrets and let them consume you. According to research, there are six familiar sources of regrets:

  • Career
  • Education
  • Leisure
  • Parenting
  • Romance
  • Self

Be aware–your mind may automatically fall to these regrets if you have any within these subjects. You must learn to work past these feelings if they exist. Speak to a therapist or similar mental health professional about working through feelings of regret. You’re more energetic when you learn from them without letting them weigh you down.

2. Learn To Reflect By Asking Why

Self-reflection is an indispensable tool for those seeking to impart positive change in their lives and thoughts. When something happens that you feel could have gone better or that you know went badly, pause and dig deep into yourself. Why did this happen? Some questions you can ask yourself are:

  • Why does this situation bother me?
  • Why did their actions hurt me so much?
  • Do I have difficulty with this task or circumstance?
  • Where are these emotions stemming from?
  • Why did I have such a strong reaction to that situation?
  • How can I prevent a lousy reaction next time?
  • Could I have avoided this?
  • How could I have aided the situation?

These questions encourage you to look inward and find answers that exist in your subconscious. They allow you to think, hard, about your actions and thoughts and where they come from, thus allowing you to begin making changes to prevent repeats of the same incident.

Don’t forget. You can also self-reflect when good things happen! To self-reflect on the positive, ask yourself these questions:

  • What led to my success?
  • What motivated me to reach this achievement?
  • How did I feel when I was in that favorable situation?
  • How can I replicate this again in the future?

3. Learn To Love Learning

School systems can make us learn to dislike the process of learning and gaining knowledge. But without all the confines of those rules from your school days, you can, instead, begin to learn on your terms. This new habit can be a lot of fun and is a great way to sharpen your mind and gain the knowledge you need to change how you live and think.

But where do you begin? How can you start learning and enjoying the process? Here are some ideas:

  • Read more books
  • Watch informational documentaries or videos.
  • Take a class in an exciting subject.
  • Start learning a new hobby.
  • Learn from friends or mentors

4. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are powerful tools. They are often used as mantras to be repeated to oneself every morning in the mirror before work, school, or other responsibilities. These affirmations have a fantastic effect on positive thinking, allowing you to slowly fake it till you make it, growing to believe in yourself more and more in the process.

Think about the kind of change you want to see in your life. Then, pick a confident, specific, and forceful statement that moves you towards your goals by affirming that you are the person you wish to be. Finally, repeat this statement for at least ten minutes, once a day:

  • I am strong enough to overcome all odds.
  • My intelligence makes me a valuable worker.
  • I maintain healthy relationships with my friends.
  • My efforts bring fruit.
  • I am smart, beautiful, and valued.

When making your affirmations, try not to make these mistakes:

Using The Words “Will” or “Shall.” These words put your success permanently in your future and never in your present. Stick to terms in the present tense.

· Putting Anything Negative In Them

Don’t make your affirmations negative, even when the overall message is still right. For example, instead of saying, “I am not harmed by adversity,” say, “I overcome adversity.” It doesn’t seem like much, but that negative spin can affect your chances.

· Giving Up

At first, you will feel silly saying your positive affirmation. That’s normal, and it may take a while before you don’t feel weird repeating them. The goal here is a fake it till you make it type of deal. The more you say these words to yourself, the more you will believe them, and soon when you tell them, you’ll know you’re speaking the truth.

positive affirmations

5. Focus On Your Goals

Goals are what motivate you. They’re what you strive towards, against all the odds. When you turn your attention to them, you give power to yourself to change to meet them.

Of course, additional problems can arise if you don’t set goals in a positive or helpful way. Luckily, there are a wealth of tried and true scientific methods to ensure that you set goals correctly. Here are some actionable tips that could be helpful:

· Set Goals You Can Hold Yourself Accountable For

Vagueness is a death sentence for goals. Only set goals that you can actively hold yourself accountable for. To do so, make goals that have definite deadlines, have specific requirements, and can be easily kept track of.

· Make A Motivational Board

Goals are often intangible. You can’t really touch them or even view them directly on a daily basis; they exist only in your mind. A motivational board, also known as a dream board, can give your goals some physical substance to hold onto. Stick pictures, articles, handwritten goal lists, and similar items onto your motivational board and look at it every day. You’re manifesting your goals into a physical form, and that can be very powerful.

· Be Flexible

A lot of people are a bit too steadfast with their goals. Yes, perseverance is a beautiful thing, but that doesn’t mean you have to set your goals in stone. If situations surrounding your life change, your goals can change with them. There’s no shame in needing to make changes to goals depending on your abilities or circumstances. In fact, that’s part of the best method to set goals in the first place! So be flexible.

· Make Sure You Feel Challenged

Goals aren’t worth much if you don’t feel like they’re actually challenging you. Too-easy goals will make you become complacent, and your progress will stagnate or, at best, you’ll achieve a goal that won’t actually be that significant. Make sure your goals are challenging and challenging – but not impossible or too tough – to attain!

6. Be Grateful

A little gratitude goes a long way. Research proves that being grateful can improve social interactions, boost positive thinking, and reduce the risk of developing symptoms of depression.

Still, sometimes, it’s hard to feel grateful, and you may get caught up in the downsides of life. If that applies to you, never fear! Here are a few tips for being grateful in your everyday life:

· Appreciate What You Have

Every day, stop and take stock of all things you have in life that you appreciate. This list can range from something as simple as a roof over your head and having a job to more complex situations, like your witty personality, sharp thinking skills, or the strength you have to overcome difficulties. If you like, you can even keep a gratitude journal, where you write three things you’re grateful for each day.

· Learn To Move Your Thought Patterns To Gratitude

It’s natural for many people to take notice of the bad in their lives before even beginning to notice the good. This is often because the positive parts of life can be quite constant and quickly are taken for granted, while negative things impede areas of life and draw your attention and annoyance. The next time something bad happens, stop. Then, engage in a deep breath and shift your thoughts to blessings and little things that bring you joy. You’ll find plenty of wonderful things you may have been overlooking!

· Savor Your Successes

A lot of us don’t take a good amount of time to celebrate our successes and achievements. Don’t make this mistake. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself credit or celebrating a little when you achieve a goal or find success. Cement this victory in your mind and remember that feeling of joy, excitement, and fulfillment. This is a win that you should remember and look back on, so you appreciate your achievements and how far you’ve come.

7. Accept Who You Are

Here’s the truth of the matter: there is only one person who can change how you think and live, and that person is you. The irony of it all is that you can’t change yourself if you don’t like yourself first. Yes, really!

Why is this the case? Well, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to work towards improvement in the way that you want to. Think about it – do you want to help people you don’t like? The same concept applies to yourself. You’re not going to want to help yourself to the true best extent of your abilities if you dislike who you are as a person.

It can be difficult to accept yourself, but here are some ideas for how to begin working on it:

  • Practice regular self-care
  • Admire yourself in the mirror
  • Give yourself treats now and then.
  • Repeat positive mantras
  • Appreciate the person that you are

changeFinal Thoughts On Some Simple Ways To Change How You Think And Live

It’s certainly not easy to enact big changes in your life. The way you think can be so ingrained in you that you struggle to overcome it. But by following these seven simple ways to change how you think and live, you will, slowly but surely, find methods that work for you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help from loved ones or mental health professionals if you need it!

The post 7 Simple Ways To Change How You Think And Live appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com

Lifestyle

7 Ways to Beat a Toxic Family Dynamic with Positivity

family

Do you feel like you have a toxic family? You can pick your friends, but when it comes to your relatives, you have no choice in the matter. There are many family members both near and far that have qualities that you don’t like, and it’s not always easy to deal with them.

However, what about the family that you live and communicate with daily? Every family goes through certain seasons where things are rough, and dealing with these each other at these times can be overwhelming. You will experience bumps in the road, such as financial difficulties, job losses, and medical problems, but outside frustrations don’t equal a toxic dynamic.

How do you know if your family’s relationship is toxic or if the complications you face were brought on by circumstantial problems that will eventually even out? Here are some classic signs that your family puts the fun in dysfunctional.

7 Ways to Identify and Overcome a Toxic Family Dynamic

Here are seven red flags that signal a toxic family relationship that might exist.

1. Punishment and Discipline Are Blurred

Many people confuse discipline and punishment, as they are not the same. When you discipline your children, you are teaching them something or correcting behavior. Punishment is something that is done out of frustration, and the parent teaches the child nothing.

If you are in a toxic family pattern, then punishments can become excessive, and the behavior is never addressed. Many adults that don’t know how to handle a situation effectively may use the silent treatment as a method to manipulate their children. To combat this situation, the parent should sit down with the kids and explain to them what they did wrong, why there is a punishment, and how things could be handled better in the future.

Make sure they understand why they are in trouble and how to correct their actions. This is one of the reasons why spanking and things of that nature don’t work. Adults have temper tantrums and take out their frustrations on their children, but they never address the real issue.

2. You Play the Blame Game

Folks who have a toxic family dynamic often have problems with members not seeing the wrong that they do. Sadly, finding fault with others comes easily to them. When a family is toxic, one person may blame others for their issues as they see themselves as always right.

Additionally, they can’t comprehend taking responsibility for his/her actions because it would mean they must admit they are wrong. This should not be confused with people who don’t truly realize that they have made a mistake. To combat these issues, you need to make sure you address the problem with the person.

While it’s never popular to point out the wrongs of others, an ongoing issue of this nature can certainly make for some uncomfortable living conditions. Sit down and discuss the problems and make sure you don’t point fingers but recognize the question that needs to be addressed. In these instances, you will almost always find poor self-esteem or other issues that drive the person’s need to always be correct.

3. You Threaten Each Other

One way to tell if you have a toxic family dynamic is if there is physical violence in the home. Did you know that anger is one of the easiest emotions to show? However, there doesn’t need to be slapping and hair-pulling to be toxic.

If you have one family member who tends to use threats to punish others, then it’s a toxic family environment. An example would be if the parent were upset because their child was going through a rebellious stage and wanted to control them. The parents could tell the child if they don’t follow the rules or do what they wish, they will make them go live with another relative or parent.

While a child should know that there are rules that they must follow, their home and the security of their “safe zone” should never be compromised. Many split families often must consider where the child should live, but this decision should be based on the kid’s best interest and not as a punishment.

When a child is acting out, it means there is something under the surface that’s bothering them. There could be hormones that are raging out of control, or they could be bullied at school. To send positive vibes to this adverse situation, sit down and talk to the child openly and honestly. If you can’t get through to your child, get a therapist involved to keep the toxic aspects of the situation under control.

4. You Deal with Control Issues

Control issues are not uncommon in families. Children often feel that their parents are controlling because they can’t do what they want. There’s a difference in having control issues and being a concerned parent.

If you want positive vibes and don’t want others to feel like they walk on eggshells, then communication is vital. Never put tracking apps on phones of other adults in the home, and you should never use money as blackmail to get someone to do what you want. Finally, while you may not agree with clothing choices or makeup, you must allow people to be comfortable in their skin.

Many people try to control others when they feel like things are chaotic. The way to combat this is to get to the crux of the issue. A parent may be controlling because they fear the decisions their children make will hurt them. However, parents must give their kids room to make mistakes as it’s how they grow and learn.

Rather than talking about the issues at hand, people often use underhanded methods to control an out of control situation. Sit down and have family meetings often and make sure that you are all on the same page.

relationship habits
Avoid these toxic relationship habits.

5. Critical Towards You

Do you ever feel like you can do nothing, right? If you have a toxic family member in your household, then you may feel like they are never satisfied with anything you do. You could pay off all your debt, get a promotion, and have a credit score of 850, and it still wouldn’t be good enough.

When one party likes to criticize and undermine others in the home, it can be very frustrating. You will generally find a miserable person at the crux who is battling feelings of not accomplishing goals they had for their life. It’s often that they will project their feelings of frustration on you.

Since this is truly not your problem, you need to get to the root of the behavior. It would help if you had a pattern for recovery and goals that this person and the family needs to meet. You can recover from this toxic behavior with help.

6. Sibling Rivalry is Taken to Extremes

If there is more than one child in your home, there will be some rivalry. It should be noted that not all rivalry is terrible as it can drive someone to succeed. Sadly, these behaviors can become toxic or even dangerous.

When one sibling tries to blame the other every time they get into trouble, there is an issue that needs to be handled. A parent should never allow a child to humiliate another sibling even if it’s comical. Lastly, any competition within the family should never be allowed to become personal or vindictive.

Parents must foster a healthy relationship between their children by never playing favorites, ensuring all children receive the same discipline types and giving them each equal attention.

7. They Dismiss Your Feelings

If you have a toxic family situation, you may feel that your thoughts and feelings are easily dismissed. Again, this all comes down to control, and the need to be right. The party displaying these behaviors may feel that your opinions are insignificant to theirs, or they don’t’ t value what you have to say.

You need to tell this person that it hurts you when they dismiss your feelings and work on a sufficient resolution for change. Call them out now as you don’t’ t want to wait and let things fester. When you tell them about your issues in the heat of the situation, it’s easier to address it head-on.

toxic familyFinal Thoughts on Handling a Toxic Family Situation

If you have toxic family dynamics in your home, you must regain control to change your environment to a healthy one. Here are some things you can do to shift your abode into one with positive vibes.

  • Let Everyone Have a Voice
  • Set Firm Boundaries
  • Stop Toxic Behaviors Immediately
  • Never Play Favorites
  • Treat Everyone in the Home as an Equal
  • Sever Ties when Necessary
  • Get Outside Help When Needed

It’s easy to have issues that can change the dynamics of the home. However, it’s crucial as parents that you set firm boundaries and say what you will and won’t allow. Your children will run the show if you enable them to do so. If your home is a war zone, you must take control of the situation and find effective ways to change the toxicity. You will all be much healthier and happier when you get rid of toxic tendencies.

The post 7 Ways to Beat a Toxic Family Dynamic with Positivity appeared first on Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude.


Source – powerofpositivity.com