Psychologists Reveal How to Shift Into A Positive Mindset on a Bad Day


Do you ever wake up in a bad mood? It doesn’t matter how much sleep you get or how good you feel; your spirit is off. Sometimes, you wake up feeling great, but the smallest thing can tick you off and put you into a negative mood. However, you will live a happier, more fulfilling life by shifting gears into a positive mindset.

Someone at the office may make a snide comment, or you may find that you’re out of coffee, and it’s only 10 am. All the negative things that you must deal with within a day can affect your mood. However, you can’t stay in this mood as it’s not productive or beneficial for a happy life.

Why Do Your Moods Fluctuate?

Did you know that your moods can have everything to do with your ego? Research suggests that folks use up their determination to prevent temptation, but they drain rational resources.

Each person has a stress-threshold that dictates how much they can take without blowing a gasket. Once you get beyond that threshold, it alters your mood. You may become grouchy, irritable, or syndical of others.

While you see what’s going on outside your body, do you know what’s going on inside to make these changes? Your blood pressure goes up and down as you encounter stressors from the day. With these blood pressure fluctuations come the increase of cortisol, which is also known as your body’s stress hormone.

Since each person’s threshold is different, it can be a small thing that alters your mood, or it may take something significant. If you need to change to a positive mindset and put the moodiness aside, there are some things you can do.

Five Ways to Change the Negative to a Positive Mindset

A negative mood comes from strong feelings that you’re having that you cannot shake. Rather than face the issue and deal with the feelings, you choose to react. Thankfully, when you resolve your problems and face the things that are bothering you, it helps change to a positive mindset.

Even if the coffee container is empty in the morning, take a 15-minute break and run to a store to get more. Sure, it’s an inconvenience, but rather than stewing about such a minor issue, you can fix it. Here are some ways to help you stay optimistic.

1. Catch up on Rest

According to the Center for Disease Control, one out of three people in this country does not get the required hours of sleep they need. Do you know what happens to your body when you don’t get sufficient sleep? It increases your chances of developing mental distress, high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart problems.

If you’re not getting at least seven hours of sleep each night, it can put you in a negative mindset. When you don’t feel good in your body, it can affect your mood. If you’re having problems sleeping, then you need to talk to your doctor.

There are many herbs and things that can also help you get a restful night, such as melatonin. When you get your sleep back on track, it’s easier to keep a positive mindset.

2. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is the ability to switch your mind from a pessimistic state to an optimistic one. Today’s society makes it extremely easy to get sucked into a negative mindset. However, you don’t have to live in a place of discontent when you can change your brain’s molecular structure by using gratitude.

Did you know if you focus on your blessings instead of the things you don’t have, then you will be healthier and happier? There have been many studies that have proven that when you have an attitude of thanksgiving that it stimulates the hypothalamus in your brain to improve your mood.

If you find it hard to do a 180-degree turn on your gratitude level, start with small things first. Notice the beauty in your child’s face, or be appreciative of the lovely, cozy bed you climbed out of this morning. Did you know that gratitude can be just as addictive as being negative and grumbly?

positive mindset

3. Calm Down with Meditation

If you can’t seem to master a positive mindset, then you should try meditation. It can be overwhelming to find time to fit everything you need to in a day, and all the stress can affect your mood. So, you can fix this by taking the time to channel positive energy and release the negative.

Sometimes, you need to breathe. Scientifically, there is a reason why mindful breathing and the relaxation that comes with meditation works. When you experience stress or have mood fluctuations, the prefrontal cortex in your brain goes into an overactive state, which can lead to depression.

Thankfully, meditation is the key to change those brain regions that are linked to the blues. When you’re using mindful breathing, you retrain the brain to focus on your success and not your failures. When physical sensations intrude on you, you will feel negative emotions like stress.

The rhythmic breathing that occurs in meditation helps you work yourself out of a bad mood, no matter what comes your way. It’s because you are taking time to stop, and you’re sorting out all those feelings that are causing you problems.

Did you know that there are specific mood-boosting meditations that can assist you in your goals? These meditations are especially beneficial for those who are new to this ancient practice.

4. Use Your Support System

You need a support system to make it in this life. People don’t realize how incredibly important it is to have someone that you can call when the whole world seems to be going wrong. When you feel negative, reach out to a friend or family member to talk too about what’s going on.

A third party can look at the situation from the outside and put things into perspective. You can make a bigger deal of the situation often because you compound it with all the other stressors you have in your life. Getting good advice and support is much needed to keep you in a positive mindset.

Psychologists did a study and used brain imaging to see how your brain is affected by your moods. They found that people who verbalize how they feel often have fewer problems with sadness and anger than those who try to keep it all inside.

When you avoid talking about the troubling things, you give them power. However, when you vocalize these issues, you release the energy they have on you.

There’s all this noise inside your head that gets louder as your stress level rises, and you become overwhelmed. When you find somewhere and someone that is your safe place, you can release all the noise and have clarity.

5. Exercise

You already know that you need to get so much exercise each week to maintain a healthy weight. However, research shows that your mental health benefits just as much from a workout. The evidence and studies that have been done on this subject are overwhelming.

When you exercise, your body begins to release neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine. It also releases endorphins, which all work together to make you feel good. When you are depressed, it’s likely caused by an imbalance in these neurotransmitters.

However, a doctor will give you a medication, or you take some herbal treatments to rebalance them. Many people don’t realize that exercise is so powerful that it can be the equivalent of taking anti-depressant medication.

When you’re struggling with negativity, you need to go for a walk, run a mile, or do some intense cardio. You will release those happiness chemicals to put you in a positive mindset.

Here are ten vital reasons why you should take the time to count your daily blessings.

Final Thoughts on Living a More Fulfilling Life by Shifting into a More Positive Mindset

No one likes to be in a bad mood. Consequently, you are responsible for your actions and your attitudes. The smallest of things can trigger you and put you in a negative frame of mind, but you can control how you respond to those triggers.

You have the power to move beyond the problem and live in optimism. Thankfully, your bad mood won’t last forever. If you need something to help prod you to give you some perspective, then you should look to the future and not the past.

Do you remember that day in 2018 when you were so angry you could spit nails because you were late for work? No, of course, you don’t remember. The good news is you won’t recall these little mood fluctuations because they are a fleeting moment in time.

Focus on your future, and live in a mindset where you count your blessings and not ruminate on everything that is wrong. You will be surprised at what a difference it will make in your life when you focus on the positive things.

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Life Coaches Reveal How to Plan Your Day in 5 Simple Steps


Some people are so structured and seem to plan every detail of their day. Yet, others tend to fumble around, hoping they don’t miss something vital that they need to do. If you want to learn how to get everything you need to do in a day, there is no secret or magic trick.

It’s not difficult to plan your day, but it takes some determination and a few life-changing tips. Why should you plan your day? Well, here are a few reasons.

Four Excellent Reasons to Plan Your Day

Here are some useful planning tips for implementing today.

1. You’re Better Prepared

When you have everything planned, then you know what to expect. Your goals for the day are clear, and unless something unforeseen arises, you’ve got things covered. When you have a prepared mindset, you will have a higher chance of having a good and productive day.

The problem comes into play when you don’t have a clue what’s going on. You will struggle through the day fighting hard and have a low chance of success. When you wake up ready to tackle the day, you will be motivated and drive to accomplish the tasks at hand.

Your brain needs to be prepared to be able to have full motivation. If you’re in doubt, you should know that this method works, and it will help you finish the tasks you have to do promptly.

2. You Prioritize

How many times have you worked all day long and haven’t seemed to accomplish anything? You might feel like a dog chasing its tail around in circles. You must know that this is a rookie mistake, and it must be avoided.

When you plan, you have the chance to prioritize the tasks you must complete making sure each one is fulfilled. If you don’t have a plan, then you can run in 100 directions and do whatever comes to mind first. When nothing is connected or coherent, your entire day is run very haphazardly.

It’s essential that you give time to the things of the highest priority. When you start your day armed with a plan, then you can make sure that all the urgent tasks are handled. If you need to see a doctor or attend your child’s school play, then you can ensure those tasks get worked into your day too.

The fact is that you can get where you need to be, and you don’t have to compromise your responsibilities to yourself or your family to do so.

3. Improves Time Management

Your day and productivity level come down to your time management. Do you need to manage every second of the day? Well, no one is perfect, and it’s hard to have a life so scripted.

Thankfully, you can schedule your day and make good use of every minute of it. The most important task should go into slot one, followed by the next important thing, an hour for lunch, and so on until you’ve filled your schedule.

Make sure that you have a list and don’t let anything overlap. You have deadlines, personal commitments, and you must ensure that everything is planned out for 24 hours so that you don’t waste any time or feel burdened.

4. Create Structure

Do you have days when you seem to wing everything? Spontaneity is the spice of life, but you can’t live every day in that manner. It sounds fun to throw caution to the wind and not let life become too structured and regimented, but did you realize that living like that will take a toll on your mental health?

It’s not fun to deal with surprises and urgencies as they can affect your personal life and your work efficiency. When you plan your day, it brings order to an otherwise chaotic time. Planning gives you structure and order, and it will make your life seem more systematic.

Now, you shouldn’t mentally confuse a scheduled day with an uninteresting lifestyle. Having composition means that you have a plan and know what you need to do to be successful. Your routine must be pre-planned and thought out clearly.

You can boost your productivity and keep a structured life, but this type of lifestyle can help you get rid of all your bad habits and strengthen your good ones.

When you are accomplishing tasks and reaching goals, then it gives you a boost in your step. It does incredible things for your self-esteem to mark items off your checklist as accomplished.

5 Tips to Planning the Perfect Day

If you want to plan your day and boost your results, you need an effective method. Here are some tips for you to consider.

money saving

1. Begin with Clear Goals

You must first start each day with clearly defined goals. Never start a day without a plan. It’s essential to keep your daily goals on track to achieve all you need.

While setting precise daily goals, you must also keep in mind your plans for the week. You want to make sure that one day flows into the next, and you’re not left wandering around.
When you have not only your daily but weekly goals in mind, you can plan in advance. Your goals must allow you to accomplish all you need to do and allow time for the unforeseen events.

2. Each day must Be Part of the Bigger Picture

Please don’t get so caught up on a single day that you forget it’s part of the bigger picture. Remember, Monday is only one-seventh of your week, so you can’t single it out over the whole week or month. Everything you plan must take into consideration the week, month, year, and your life.

Having a cohesive plan is advisable, and it should fit into what you want to achieve for the long term. Additionally, keep the events from yesterday and those from tomorrow in the back of your mind. If you have unfinished business from Tuesday, and it’s not Wednesday, you must consider what’s left and what’s on the list for Thursday.

When you have deadlines in both the business and personal parts of life, you need to be mindful of them daily rather than waiting until the last minute.

3. Classify

Your day should be about much more than your job. In every life comes the need for socialization, personal commitments, chores around your home, and family time. You must ensure that you include all these things in your schedule and learn to make time for each classification.

Self-care is an item that many people don’t make time for in their day. You are more important than dusting the furniture, paying the cable bill, and making a work deadline. Yes, all those things are essential, but if you don’t take care of yourself and your needs, you will never accomplish all you need to do.

You should have no less than 30 minutes each day to reflect, create, and boost your mental strength. When you have it all planned according to then, it’s easier to balance your day.

4. Allow for Flexibility

When you plan your day, you don’t want to make the time restraints, so regimented that there is no time for flexibility. Life is full of surprises, and you never know what each day will hold. You must have room for adjustments.

Your boss may throw a surprise assignment on you, or your child may wake up sick. There always needs to be a plan b or backup to your day. You must be able to move things around so that you can handle life’s unexpected challenges.

5. Sustain Balance

You only have 24 hours in your day, so you don’t want to put so much onto your schedule that it’s not humanly possible to do it all. When you plan your day, you want to give yourself about one or two major tasks.

Once those big tasks are handled, then you can schedule about three or four smaller ones. Remember, some jobs will take more time than others, and you need to allow for interruptions, phone calls, and other things that can get you off schedule.

You also need to have some sort of balance. Your day cannot be all about work, or you won’t have time to relax and read a book or watch your favorite television program. Don’t cram so much into one day that it stresses you out and take the rest of the week to recover.

plan your dayFinal Thoughts on How You Can Achieve Better Results When You Plan Your Day

Are you convinced that planning your day is worth the effort? Make sure you make those plans the day before to wake up knowing exactly what you face that day. It’s all about keeping things into perspective and seeing yourself reach each goal that you set.

Don’t feel pressured to tackle all of these suggestions at one time. Small steps will equal big changes in due time. So start with little goal-setting and work up from there.

The goal is to see growth and development in your life, which can happen when you plan your day and make time for all the things you must do.

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15 Organization Habits to Help All Working Moms on Busy Mornings


Working moms juggle two crucial roles as full-time workers at home and on the job. Staying organized is essential for your sanity, especially in the mornings when you’re trying to get yourself and the kids out the door.

The challenges that a working mom faces are well-known and backed up by studies. Researchers point out that working moms juggle career, children, aging parents, and keeping every family member on track. The result can be a chaotic, stressful life.

Thus, working moms should try to develop good habits to offset the morningtime rush. Many organizational strategies work, some work better for you than others. See if any of these 15 organization tips could help you with your busy mornings.

15 Useful Tips to Help Working Moms Get Out the Door Faster

  1. Rise and shine–before the kids do

Set your alarm to awaken you at least 30 minutes before your kids get up, even earlier if you prefer a little more peace and quiet. Use your time alone to drink a cup of coffee, shower, and dress. You’ll feel calmer and mentally prepared for your day once you’re dressed and ready to step out the door.

  1. Wake the kids up around the same time every day

Your older kids should be responsible enough to get up on their own. Have them set the alarm to ensure they wake up. If they don’t get up, have a plan to wake them. One parent tells us that she went into her teenage son’s room and blew a whistle loudly on the days he wouldn’t get up. He quickly learned to set his alarm to avoid his mom’s wake up technique. It was too annoying, he said.

  1. Give your kids a morning routine

Research supports the claim that children need a set routine.

Once your children are old enough, around four years old, teach them to navigate their morning routine. Show the younger children how to make their beds, brush their teeth, and get dressed. Have their clothes laid out in a spot of their choosing so they can easily dress without asking you for help.

Let the kiddos practice over the weeks and encourage their attempts, even if they aren’t perfect. Young kids love the independence and usually rise to the occasion. Of course, your kids will get distracted, but a simple reminder will help them get on track.

  1. Teach your kids simple breakfast prep

Provide easy to make breakfasts that your kids can make on their own. Toaster waffles, cereal, yogurt, or bagels are easy for kids to navigate. You can make smoothies the night ahead and serve those to your kids for breakfast, too.

  1. Make lunches the night before

If your kids take their lunch, prepare them the night before. There are great lunch boxes now with easy to clean compartments. Fill their lunches with fruit, veggies, and other yummy foods. Buy easy to send foods like carrots, celery, granola bars, and hummus packets.

Have your kids help you pack up their lunches so they can choose what they want to eat. It’s a great time to chat about what’s going on at school. Lunchtime at school is sometimes hard for kids because the cafeteria is crowded, and there aren’t many teachers around to supervise the conversations. So, find out what kids are saying and how your child is processing all the talks.

  1. Layout kids clothes and your clothes the night before

Every night before bed, have your younger kids help you choose what they want to wear the next day. It’s usually more manageable for the boys to pick out their clothes than the girls, so if you need to negotiate what they’re wearing, it’s better in the evening than the morning of school. Your older kids should lay out their own clothing. You can go check to see if they look okay. Some older kids resent this, but it’s a great habit for them to establish. Make it a house rule. Every house has rules, so tell them it’s just an easy house rule to follow.

  1. Ensure that homework gets done the night before

What parent hasn’t woke up to find out that their sixth-grader is frantic about an undone project due that day? It is typical for kids to forget their homework assignments. Hang baskets near your front door for homework assignments to be kept so you can get a quick glance at them before they go into your kids’ backpack.

If you see something left undone, you can show your child and have them finish it. Or if there’s not enough time, have your child contact their teacher on their own to tell them they didn’t do the assignment. Teaching your child to bear the weight of responsibility and to fix it is helpful. Teachers are usually happy to cut kids some slack when they’re honest about their mistakes.


  1. Schedule interruptions (all busy moms know these things are inevitable)

Life happens even to the most organized schedule. Things like lost shoes, kids arguing, and lost car keys happen. One mom shared how she was all dressed for work, nursing the baby just before stepping out the front door when her three-year-old daughter walked into the room and threw up all over her.

Plan for the unexpected.

Make sure your boss knows you have small kids. Hopefully, they’ll be sympathetic and understand that unplanned things happen. Pad your time schedule to allow for little interruptions in your mornings.

  1. Get help

It’s okay to need help. Not a soul will think anything less of you, and if they do, it’s their problem. Find an early morning nanny who can help your kids on the bus in the morning and off the bus in the afternoons. Once your kids are older, they’ll be able to do this on their own, but while your kids are young, it’s good to have the help.

Hire house cleaners when your kids are little. This way, you can concentrate more on your family and less on housework. Order fresh meals delivered to your home that you need to prepare. Again, some of these things will work for a season, when you’re especially busy with little kids. You can re-evaluate after six months or a year to see if you still need this help.

  1. Get your partner’s help.

Ask your partner to do the morning shift once in a while. Taking turns helps both of you understand what mornings are like. It can also be helpful if there need to be changes made. One partner may come up with a creative solution the other partner hadn’t thought of. When you divide and conquer the mornings with your partner, you’ll feel less stressed and able to get out the door calmly.

  1. Try to keep work at the office.

If possible, try not to do office work in the mornings. If you need to do some work, get up earlier, so you’re finished by the time the kids wake up. In the mornings, give your kids your full attention, so they feel like their mom is aware of their needs for the day. It’s tough on a kid to go to school all day and feel like their mom hardly noticed them. Tell your co-workers you aren’t taking calls till after a specific time. Don’t look at your emails until you’re at the office. You’ll be surprised how “pressing issues” aren’t as pressing as they are presented to be.

  1. Tell your kids you love them.

Kids have stuff going on at school. They need their parent’s support and love. Every day, be sure to tell your kids how much you love them and how proud you are of them. Make sure they leave for school with a sense of confidence in who they are and knowing how much they are loved and also supported. If you’re traveling, of course, you can easily text your kids or give them a phone call before they leave for school. Youmay never know the impact you are making on your kids’ life by a simple statement. Later on, when they’re older, they’ll tell you how much it meant as they faced their daily challenges.

  1. Keep a sense of humor.

Kids are kids. They cry, whine, complain, and stomp their feet. Don’t sweat the small stuff like mismatched socks or smug teenager looks. These are things you should overlook as not that important. Most of the things you’re obsessing over will all be different in five years. So relax, and don’t let the small issues get you down. Plus, your example of how to navigate stress is an essential lesson for your kids as they face their own challenges.

  1. Keep a schedule in your kitchen.

Wall calendars seem so 90s, but a paper calendar is helpful to keep your family updated on the weekly events. Hang a large paper calendar in your kitchen marked with sporting practices, games, and family outings. Your kids will always know what’s going on. In the corner of the calendar list, the family dinners for the week. This way, when the kids ask you what’s for dinner, you can point them to the calendar. Plus, having a dinner schedule will help you with grocery shopping and meal planning.

  1. Plan a routine that includes playtime

Routines bring peace, but they’re so easy to break. Who doesn’t want to sleep in when you’ve been up all night several times with the baby? But the more you can keep your routine, the better for you and your family. Kids thrive on routine. It’s actually good for kids who get stressed out quickly. So, if you strive to make it work, your kids will too. Motivative your kids by having family meetings once every couple weeks to praise them for their efforts in the mornings and how well they’re doing at keeping the routine.

Plan fun family weekend movies and outdoor activities to offset the weekly schedule. Make weekends sleep in-days, so your kids will learn what a day off means. It’s easy to be too work-focused. Teach your kids the value of resting and play so they can be well-rounded people.

working momsFinal Thoughts on Trying These Organization Habits for Busy Working Moms

Busy days with a family need good organizational habits to make it through. Try to incorporate some of these easy tips to see if they work for your family. Add others as required. You might need to tweak some of them to make them work well for you, but try to keep a predictable routine. Kids thrive with routine, and they’ll enjoy the weekends more when they’ve worked hard all week to get up and off to your daily destinations on time.

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Cosmic Views for September 2020


September is traditionally a return to our routine: to work, school, and projects that need to move forward. The cosmic views for September 2020, however, are different from other years.

Unfortunately, none of that is certain, with Covid-19 still not under control. You are being asked to get out of your routine and find new ways to create order. If you’re not in search of a new comfort zone, you should be. No matter how organized you are, the challenges this month will not be resolved with ease.

Mars goes retrograde on the 9th and remains so until November 14th. Tempers and frustration are strong. It’s important to keep yourself calm, getting upset will not help. Take up meditation if you haven’t already, it’s a great way to find your center and keep it. The square Mars makes to Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn in Capricorn adds to the feeling of being stuck. Remember, just give the best you can and let go. If you do, you’ll find a way to handle the impossible. Uranus in Taurus continues to shake up your values by showing you what’s important. The boundaries of your life have been changed, and those who can adapt get ahead.

Don’t complain — adjust. Neptune in Pisces is powerful this month. It opposes the Sun and Mercury in Virgo and trines Venus. Yes, you long for the good-ole-days, that’s your Neptune fantasy, now switch to your creative side and use your imagination to find new ways of socializing and being happy. It’s within your power. Humans succeed in a crisis because they can adapt. The Full Moon on the 2nd in Pisces opposes the Sun and sextiles Uranus. Once again, the need to be flexible is emphasized. Get passed being “right.” It doesn’t work in this environment. What does work is going with the flow and being grateful for what you do have?

Astrologer Linda Joyce explains the cosmic views of September 2020.

Aries (March 21st – April 20th)

The sign of Aries, with its ruler Mars, has the role of the troublemaker. Mars goes retrograde this month, and it unleashes pent-up tension. Mars is the warrior of the universe, so if you have an issue that is making you unhappy, you’ll be on it like a dog with a bone. If you’re tired of conflict, then let it pass. So much of what will arise can’t be resolved or at least not without hard work.

Whomever you find yourself battling will take a strong stand and not hear you, especially if you’ve waited too long to rectify the problem. If the conflict is not a battle, but a project, then tackle it with a positive attitude and then take it one step at a time. A major source of your anxiety comes from having a new vision of where you’re going. This demands a change in plans. Not something you embrace with ease.

Mars goes retrograde on the 9th and becomes the driving force of change for the next three months. Embrace the new vision of your life, do the work, and shape it according to your needs. Then and only then will it be yours. With Neptune opposite the Sun, you may find reality and truth in your face. It’s time to look at life in a very practical way and set yourself up for the next phase. Be positive, and don’t avoid responsibility. Uranus trine the Sun helps you embrace change.

The Full Moon on the 2nd brings up issues of your authority and where you disagree with everyone else. This is a time to be both selfish and selfless. Know what’s important, and only then will you know what can be compromised. If you’re in a relationship, you are working together to change your goals. If you’re single, the person you’re attracted to is not available. And that works for you now.

Taurus (April 21st – May 20th)

Taurus is the sign of love. However, this month with Mars in the 12th, it’s difficult to manifest anything other than anger, perseverance, or anxiety. The 12th house permeates the chart and affects everything in a subtle but powerful way. It represents your spirit, the driving force behind all that you do. With Mars retrograde on the 9th until November 14th, you feel obsessed with accomplishing your goals.

Your ideals will shift along with the cosmic views of 2020. You will see that you have either not asked enough of yourself or asked too much. Finding balance is the key to success. Saturn goes direct on the 29th and begins the final journey back into Aquarius, where it will stay for 2 12 years. Next year you’ll be challenged to structure yourself in new ways. You hate boundaries that limit your freedom, but these will be put in place by you because they are necessary for your growth. Uranus trine the Sun helps you accept change, rather than question it.

The Full Moon on the 2nd in your 11th house of friends asks you to reevaluate a relationship that has let you down. If you can’t trust someone, then they shouldn’t have access to your private world. Venus opposite Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn reveal how you feel and what you want. You’re ready to take the steps toward transforming your life. This is a good thing. Don’t let the unknown frighten you. You’re good at being spontaneous and finding your way in the dark. If you’re in a relationship, then things are both challenging and exciting.

If you have a good partner, then all will go well. But if it has not been good for a while, then things will get worse before they get better. If you are single, you might meet soon someone you care about and not be ready to handle it. Don’t get discouraged; just move slowly.

Gemini (May 21st – June 20th)

Gemini loves to stir up trouble, the kind that’s just annoying. Your power comes from knowing what buttons to push and how to make others think in new ways. Your ruler, Mercury, has been under attack for a while, but this month it connects to whatever is helping you change. It lends support and provides creative ideas. Mars is still causing trouble.

The square it makes to Saturn, Pluto, Jupiter, and Venus creates unnecessary challenges and resistance from others when it comes time to get things done. Mars goes retrograde on the 9th, and the anger you feel goes within. If you don’t resolve it, it will burst forth at the most inopportune time. Mercury, your ruler, is the messenger. When you have a kind heart, you want to make the lives of others better, but for now, you need to take care of yourself. Be an example, and stop preaching or teaching.

How you live your life is the way to peace and success. Put yourself first. Know what makes you happy and what you want. Now give that to yourself. Don’t expect it to come from others. The Full Moon occurs in the 10th house of career. You may have news that will bring about a change or a new opportunity. Venus in Cancer helps you pull in your emotions and protect them from the anger of others. It’s important to protect yourself.

The New Moon at the end of Virgo indicates that at a deep level, you’re ready for a greater truth, one that unifies all parts of yourself. If you are in a relationship, you’re being asked to look at what’s not working and what is. It’s time for a reality check. If you are still single, you may meet a special someone that challenges your mind. It’s up to you to decide how much they also connect to your heart.

Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd)

Cancers rule the inner world of your emotions. The Full Moon occurs in your 9th house of ideals, beliefs, and truth. And yes, your beliefs are the building blocks of your life, so it’s important to pay attention. Neptune has been in charge since 2011 and will remain there until 2025. It’s pushing you to reach higher and heal any place where you feel like a victim. Own where you are, if you want to change it.

Then envision the way you’d like it to be. Your unconscious will help you bridge the two, but you’ll have to take a risk. Communication is important now. You need to express how you feel instead of holding on to what’s going on. Your feelings need the light of day. Take the risk. With Mars in Aries and going retrograde on the 9th, it’s your career and goals that need digesting. Once you are very clear on what you want, then make a move.

If nothing else, cast that vision out into the world and start the invisible support that will come your way because you’re letting the universe know what you want. Remember, that’s half the problem – being clear on your vision. The atmosphere of the Mars retrograde is challenging. The environment is tense, and anger is too easily accessed by all. The source of your strength is your ability to adapt and change. Those who adjust to the new challenges will not just survive. They’ll get ahead. This is what you dislike the most. You’re a soul addicted to routine.

If you’re in a relationship, it has not been easy. The planets that are challenging us all reside in your house of partnerships. It will get better, but it’s important to see the truth. If you’re single, you want love, you’re looking for it, and yes, you could find it. However, there are a lot of challenges, and it’s up to you to overcome them.

cosmic views for september 2020

Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd)

Leos are driven to be recognized for their talents and what they do right. Yes, that’s a good thing, as long as it’s balanced with common sense and the ability to not always be in the spotlight. The truth is, one needs both desires to be successful. The difficulties this month reside in your house of health and work. In some areas, it will be easy, but people will still make you angry, and you won’t want to cooperate.

If you have children, it may have to do with their schools. There are so many choices that have to be made with serious consequences. Rely on your intuition and the facts. It has to feel right for you and make sense for you to move forward. Venus enters your sign on the 7th, and it will bring the ability to socialize in some way. Connecting is such a big part of being a Leo. You shine a light on others and are a magnet for a good time.

With Uranus at the top of your monthly chart, your direction is still in a state of becoming. You need to keep an eye on the new idea or offer that will knock on your door. The Full Moon in Pisces indicates a need to transform your life. It may seem strange that the message is so strong, after all, the whole world has to adapt, not just you. However, what the planets are asking is for you to look deeper into what was working and what isn’t now.

It’s time to embrace a bigger truth without letting fear interfere. Mars goes retrograde in Aries on the 9th, and it will challenge your beliefs. Others may even argue with your position. The opposition is there for the right reason. If you’re in a relationship, it’s changing for the better. What’s needed to be fixed will either be fixed or separate you more. If you’re single, your attention is not on relationships. It’s on your schedule and the work you do.

Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd)

Virgos have the attention this month. The Sun is in your sign. The Full Moon on the 2nd in Pisces indicates you’re in a position to make important decisions. The path and truth should be easy to see, and it’s happening early in the month. Pay attention. With Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn in your 5th house, of authority and a good time, you are probably working on your control issues more than anything else.

You attract uncertainty and the unknown, and at the same time, you dislike being indecisive or having to figure things out. It’s there to make you comfortable when you’re not in control. This is the real position of power, with Mars going retrograde on the 9th, anxiety, and anger rules. Be careful whose button you push. Don’t dismiss your feelings or they’ll come forth with a vengeance. Try keeping a journal or talk things out with a friend. The mission is to move through your emotions, which diminishes their power.

With Uranus trine the Sun, you are more willing to accept change. You know that it has to happen, and what you will examine is your tried and true beliefs. It’s time to reconfirm or refine what you’ve always believed in and align it with the new reality. With Jupiter and Saturn turning direct this month, things will begin to advance. There is less need for a review before moving forward.

It’s a great month to adjust your position, so you are in alignment with what you want to achieve. Mercury trine Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn make communication easy. If you’re in a relationship, you are positive and optimistic, but what you need is a dose of reality. If you’re single, there is opportunity all around you, but you have to make the first move.

Libra (September 23rd – October 22nd)

Libras begin this month in opposition to or resisting the challenges in your life. It’s important to take your time and get a perspective on the issues presented before you try to fix them. Don’t bury what’s bothering you. What you deal with now makes your life easier later on. You are either a Libra who avoids confrontation or very good at negotiations – you can see both sides of an argument, which leaves you in the position of choice. Do you know your truth and what you want? It sounds easy, but for a Libra, it’s a major issue.

If you have the answer, then this month will work in your favor. Certainty allows you to embrace change. Mars won’t be helpful for a long time; it goes retrograde on the 9th and adds energy to your anger. When it squares Venus, Pluto, and Saturn, tension is high, especially when it comes to family and goals. If you have mother issues, they can reveal themselves now. Try and work through them or just step back and give yourself the space to let them go. Jupiter goes direct on the 13th, and communication improves.

The trine it makes to Mercury helps you get your ideas across. When others listen, advancing your goals is easy. Saturn goes direct on the 29th, and will soon enter Aquarius. The shift it makes in December will help you focus on establishing your authority and power.

The more you connect to you, the easier it is to get respect from others. If you’re in a relationship, it’s not going to be easy this month. Your partner is ruled by Mars, an angry planet. He or she may need space. If you’re single, it’s not a good time to compromise. Your truth is not clear when it is things will happen.

Scorpio (October 23rd – November 21st)

Scorpios have the reputation of being great lovers. Perhaps they’re drawn to both the power and transforming qualities of sex. And yes, you’re sexy. Whatever you love receives power from your attention. With the Sun in Virgo, friendships get emphasized. You can be a loner, primarily because you don’t’ believe in superficial relationships.

Either you connect with someone at a deep level, or it’s not worth the effort. Mars goes retrograde on the 28th and brings work issues to the fore. You may have trouble with your schedule for the next few months. Mars stirs up anger, change, and trouble for this month. Find an outlet for your frustration. Use the energy to advance your position when it comes to the work you do.

With the Sun trine Uranus, you’ll be noticed and attract opportunities because you’re out of your comfort zone. This is where your path can be found. When it comes to investments, you’ll have plenty of options. Do not be in a hurry to put your money in the right place; do your research. Listen to your gut and the facts. They work well together. Saturn goes direct on the 29th and begins its journey out of Capricorn and into Aquarius, ruler of your 4th house of the home. Saturn will give you a report on what needs to be fixed.

It may be harsh or difficult to hear, but it will be truthful. Finances should get better when Jupiter goes direct on the 17th. This is a planet that knows how to create abundance. If you’re in a relationship, it’s been going through some change. Hopefully, new challenges have improved your life. If you’re single, you may discover there are more opportunities than you thought to meet new people. Don’t let the chaos distract you. Right now, anything is possible.

Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st)

As a Sagittarian, you feel stuck, and it’s very uncomfortable for a free spirit like you. With Jupiter, your ruler, in constant contact with both Saturn and Pluto, there is not a lot you can do to express yourself without judgment. Things advance without problems as soon as Jupiter goes direct on the 13th. The only obstacle you need to pay attention to is Mars.

This is the planet of war, and it’s looking for trouble. It goes retrograde on the 9th, releasing any pent-up anger you’ve been holding on to. It has not been easy for you to keep yourself constrained. However, getting into a fight won’t make things better. The picture becomes more challenging because Mars is square both Pluto and Saturn, two powerful planets that love being in control.

It’s not a bad thing. In fact, the more you place the focus on yourself and how you can handle all that is happening around you, the better off you’ll be. Don’t waste energy on blame; just adjust and keep moving forward. With the Full Moon in your 4th house of the home on the 2nd, the family becomes the focus. Once again, listen and stay calm. So much of what is happening can’t be fixed, but if someone feels heard, it’s often enough to dissolve many of the problems.

Saturn rules your 2nd house of finance, and when it goes direct on the 29th, things should begin to improve. Now it’s not about earning new money and more about protecting what you have. If you’re in a relationship, things are good. Communication is strong, and so are your instincts. You will know how to make your partner happy. If you’re single, it’s a great time to meet new souls, and yes, one of them may turn into someone special.

Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th)

Capricorn rules limits and boundaries, and so it is not the most popular of the signs. However, knowing your limits is essential to success. What it insists on is that you narrow your focus, which helps you advance at a faster pace. There is nothing wrong with a little meandering if you need to discover who you are and what you want. The vital thing is to listen to yourself and understand what makes you happy.

With Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn still in your sign, you may feel empowered and held back at the same time. What is required is simple patience and the ability to be present on your path. Know what you want, do everything you can to achieve it – then let go. It will come back to you with something changed.

Repeat the process. When Saturn and Jupiter enter Aquarius at the end of the year, your finances will improve, and your focus will be on the next stage of your creative ideas. So, keep the faith. Uranus in trine to the Sun makes change less threatening and easier to embrace. Venus trine Neptune enhances career opportunities and your sense of authority over whatever you’re doing. It empowers fantasy and creativity, so don’t be afraid to leave the earth for a few moments and explore your dreams. There are many gifts within your reach at this time, just let go and allow them in.

Here is a warning from the cosmic view of September 2020. Mars goes retrograde on September 9th, making home-life challenging. Your frustrations and anger may make you hard to live with. If it’s not you, then it’s everyone around you. Saturn goes direct on the 29th, and everything begins to move. If you’re in a relationship, there may be a surprise that makes the relationship even better. If you’re single, you’ll either meet someone unexpectedly, or it won’t happen. This is not a time to make serious plans, stay spontaneous.

Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th)

Aquarians love their independence, and they are in love with love. It is essential to your being, and it gets your attention, no matter what’s going on. Loving the wrong person can restrict your freedom, so keep that in mind as you open yourself up to the arrows of cupid. With Uranus, your ruler, in Taurus and trine the Sun, relationships should be good, or you’re about to meet someone.

Mars in Aries goes retrograde on the 9th and stays there until the middle of November. Communication is strong and full of passion. It challenges you to express yourself in a truthful and direct way. Mercury trine Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn add communication skills and opportunities to the moment. Don’t be afraid to share your opinion. Neptune trine Venus helps you focus on what’s important.

Neptune has the power to go right to the heart of any matter. This month is about questioning your choices. Are you on the right path? Is this what you want? Have you been pleasing others or listening to yourself? It’s time to expand your awareness. Mars square Venus causes conflict between the sexes or just shifts your inner harmony to issues that create anxiety or tension.

Don’t let it get to you. Pluto in your 2nd house transform your earning power. If it interests you, finances can improve. Good things happen from challenges. If you’re not challenged, you don’t go inward and question your choices. Jupiter goes direct on the 13th and begins its journey into your sign. This happens along with Saturn in December – a great month for change. If you’re in a relationship, things are going well. Idealism is high and positive thinking rules. If you’re single, you may find that an obligation brings new people and possibilities. Keep yourself open, and all will be well.

cosmic views for september 2020Pisces (February 19th – March 20th)

Pisces opens with the Full Moon in your opposite sign – Virgo. This occurs on the 2nd, so be prepared for challenges as the month unfolds. Opportunities are everywhere. The key is to see them. This reality requires you to step out of the past and into the chaos of the moment.

The challenge is to shift your energy and embrace the new. With Uranus, trine the Sun, relationships are going through as many changes as you are. It’s not about being comfortable. It’s about taking a risk. Venus square Mars makes getting things done nearly impossible, or not without conflict. Social events are still very challenging, and that frustrates you – you’re not always happy with your own company.

Mercury in trine to Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn make home a peaceful place. Everyone is getting along, for now. Mars, in Aries, goes retrograde on the 9th and will remain so until November. This enhances your anger and anxiety and makes it difficult to keep under control. If you have things in place, don’t be surprised if you’re forced to cope with the frustrations of others. It’s not an easy time because tension gets bottled up or released in destructive ways. With Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn in your 11th house of friendship and humanitarian causes, the truth of who you are and what’s important becomes clear.

There is nothing like a crisis to realize who your friend is. If you’re in a relationship, changes are going on, and they make the relationship difficult. Virgo rules your house of partnerships, and you’re comfortable with extremes. However, try to remember that balance is what keeps you safe. If you’re single, the cosmic views of September 2020 hold excellent possibility. It’s a great time to meet new people through friends. You will be connected through others who know you and understand who you are. Trust them.

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10 Money Saving Tips to Stop Impulse Spending


Financial problems cause emotional suffering and lots of turmoil in your life. When you have a spending habit that is out of control, it can cause anxiety, depression, and even relationship issues. Impulse spending is the worst type because it’s as powerful a drug and just as addictive.

You may become a serial shopper or someone who shops to fill that void in your life. This type of impulse spending happens more than you think. Do you find that you are wasteful with money? Think of all the savings you could have right now if you just started conserving when you were younger?

Even if your bank account has more zeros than the national deficit, there’s no time like the present to make some changes. If your mindset is “Carpe Diem,” and you have no thought for tomorrow, then it’s time to alter your thinking.

Here are ten easy ways to stop your impulse spending and stash cash into a savings account.

1. Return Products You Might Have Sitting Around (Don’t Live with Your Buyer’s Remorse)

Most people have things sitting around their homes that they have every intention of returning, but they never make it to the store. It could be things that you order from a catalog, which are inconvenient to return.

The sad fact is that you probably have a lot of money sitting around in those returns, and you could put that cash into a savings account. If you waited so long that you are past the return period, no worry. Post your unused items on a local Facebook yardsale page, sell it on eBay, or host a tag sale.

So, reject your buyer’s remorse–return those items and stash that cash for a rainy day.

2. Wait 24 Hours Before You Make Purchases

How many times have you bought something on an impulse, and it sits at your home unused? What about those designer boots you had to have but live in a tropical climate? Sure, you had the best of intentions, but you didn’t give much thought to your purchase.

If you feel that you need those new shoes, a purse, or a wallet, you should think about all your purchases before you spend the money. The chances are if you go home and think about it for 24 hours, you will change your mind.

Think and rethink each purchase, and you will see a big difference in your checking account. Buying on impulse is a dangerous habit.

3. Seek Counseling

Do you know there are support groups and counseling specifically for those who have impulse spending problems? Spending money can be addictive, so you may need a therapist to help you make better choices regarding your money.

If you cannot find local support groups, then you can find some online help. Many times, there is an underlying mental health issue like anxiety or depression that can fuel the fires of impulse spending.

4. Start Eating and Drinking at Home

One of the biggest money wasters is eating out. Do you grab a gourmet coffee on the way to work each day? If you spend $5 for a large frosted cappuccino, and you did that for five days a week, you would spend approximately $1,300.

Now, think of all the things that you could do with an extra $1,300 each year? If you got a coffee maker at home, then you could make coffee and save. Coffee savings is just the tip of the iceberg; think of all the other ways you can conserve.

Stop giving your money to fast food establishments. You pay $2.49 for a soda at a drive-through, but you can get a whole 24 pack for less than $8.00. Do the math, and you will see how much you waste by eating and drinking out.

5. Set a Household Budget and Stick with It

Do you have a household budget? Did you know that more than 33 percent of the population doesn’t maintain a budget? Budgeting is important because it’s like a financial roadmap from where you are today and where you want to be in the upcoming months.

So, the best thing that you can do is to plan for tomorrow. If you want to buy a new home or a car, you must start setting money aside. It’s better than waiting until the time comes and having no money to put down. Sadly, you will get higher payment amounts because of the lack of cash.

6. Start a Savings Account and Make Automatic Deposits

Do you have a savings account? Did you know that the average person only has about $4,000 in their savings? While that may seem like a nice chunk of change, it’s barely enough to survive one month without income.

If something should happen that you lose your job, have a major medical setback, or have other financial hardships, small savings like that could be depleted overnight. Try having money taken out of your check and put into a savings or money market account.

Even better, why not start a 401K where your money is waiting for you when you retire, and you can always borrow from these funds if you need it.

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7. Do The Envelope Method

Most people don’t like to use cash these days, and with safety concerns, it’s not advisable. However, for those who have impulse spending issues, a credit card is deceptive. Many people spend cash more frivolously because they can’t tangibly see it.

The envelope method is an old trick where you put so much cash that you allow yourself to spend in each envelope. Once the money is gone, you can’t spend anymore. Some people prefer money because they feel they can keep a better handle on their finances with it.

You can also do this method electronically if you have a bank or accounting program that tracks your spending and separates it into categories.

8. Talk to a Financial Advisor

A financial advisor can look at your income and tell you the best ways to make your money work. They will look at your current standing and how your retirement will be if you don’t change your ways. With the instability in the Social Security system, it’s not safe to take bets on this program for retirement.

It usually doesn’t cost anything for an evaluation. When you learn how to invest your money correctly, it can net you some serious change.

9. Make a Menu and Meal Plan

One of the greatest expenses you will face each month outside of your mortgage is your grocery bill. Did you know that the average family of four spends over $1,287 each month in groceries? Thankfully, you can reduce that bill by a few hundred dollars by learning how to meal plan.

Remember the old Adam Sandler song, “Lunch Lady?” The song states that yesterday’s meatloaf is today’s sloppy joe. You need to develop that mindset and repurpose leftovers. Do you think these restaurants that you patronize don’t recycle?

Take, for instance, the legendary chain you love called Wendy’s. Their famous chili is made from the hamburger leftover from the day before. If you’re shocked, you shouldn’t be as all eateries do things like this to save.

Those hamburgers sit in the warming drawer for a certain amount of time. When the time limit expires, they move them to a container to save in their walk-in cooler. The next day, they use them to make their soup.

It’s a considerable saving to them because they would throw away all that meat if they didn’t have such a plan. Now, you need to implement the same kind of philosophy.

You can take leftover hamburgers and turn them into a soup, tacos, or delicious shepherd’s pie. Just think of all the food that goes to waste that you could repurpose.

10. Learn How to Effectively Grocery Shop

If you run into the grocery store when you’re hungry and shop for the things you need for the day, you will probably do some impulse spending. Did you know that there is a right and a wrong way to go to the supermarket? Here are some tips that you should follow.

•Never shop when you are hungry

•Make a list and stick to it

•Shop early morning for discount prices and markdown deals

•Use the sales flyer to plan your meals

•Sign up with a service that will pay you money for trying products you use

•Do not go to the store every day or every couple of days

•Make one big trip a week and don’t keep going back

•Have a dedicated shopping day

•Buy in bulk and divide and conquer your budget

The list seems to be overwhelming, but it’s not that bad once you get the hang of it. Smart shopping can save you hundreds each month and thousands on the year.

impulse spendingFinal Thoughts on Knowing When It Is Time to Stop the Impulse Spending

It’s important to stash money into savings for a rainy day. Those rainy days happen to everyone, whether you’re prepared for them or not. Thankfully, even if you only have a dime in your account, you can change that quickly.

It doesn’t have to be big and significant changes, just start small and start building. You will be so glad that you stopped the impulse spending once you have a nice nest egg built for your family. Who doesn’t want to stash money into savings?

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12 Signs Your Partner Is Killing Your Self-Esteem


Your relationship seemed so right, but now you’re having doubts. You feel like your partner isn’t 100% behind you. They are preying upon your insecurity, making you feel vulnerable. Could your partner be killing your self-esteem?

If you’re feeling like this is happening to you, it may be time to step back and evaluate your relationship with this person.

Check out these 12 signs that point to your partner killing your self-esteem.

If your partner makes you feel wrong about everything, you probably also feel a drop in self-esteem. Here are the indicators that you should re-evaluate your relationship.

  1. Controls everything in the relationship

If your partner makes every decision without consulting you, that’s a sign your relationship may be breaking down. When your partner feels the need to control the budget, the bills, the household decisions, it means they don’t trust your opinions or care what you think. They are, in essence, saying you have no voice in the relationship like you’re don’t existent. They aren’t interested in you but need to feel powerful and in control.

According to one NIH study, this behavior is a classic red flag in a relationship. In some partnerships, this need for control can morph into physical abuse down the road.

Please take note of what’s going on, because it looks like your relationship is headed for failure.

  1. No effort to encourage you

In a strong and healthy relationship, two people work together to make their relationship secure. When one partner isn’t contributing to the relationship, it’s noticeable. A partner who doesn’t show interest and doesn’t encourage you is withholding love. Encouragement means the person loves you and wants you to thrive. Lack of support is a sign your partner doesn’t genuinely care for you.

  1. Doesn’t try to understand

Does it ever feel as if you’re speaking to the air when you’re trying to communicate with your partner? Do they seem to care less about what you’re saying? Perhaps they don’t try to understand your feelings but brush them aside. You may feel like you should keep your opinions to yourself because they won’t know what you’re telling them, anyway. You may feel less confident in yourself.

According to NIH, this lack of confidence is a symptom that you are losing your self-esteem. Over time, it can worsen if you don’t regain control of your life.

Ask your partner a few questions, such as the following:

  • You don’t seem interested in me, is something wrong?
  • Does our connection mean anything to you anymore?
  • Why aren’t you not listening to me?

If they respond humbly to your questions, that’s a good sign. But if they are defensive and try to push back at your concerns saying you’re imagining things, they aren’t being honest about how they feel. You may not get a straight answer out of them.

  1. Talks down to you like you’re a kid.

There’s nothing worse than seeing one partner talk down to the other like they’re a little kid. No reasonable adult likes to be treated like a child. When one partner mocks or belittles their partner in public, it’s embarrassing. You feel demeaned and worthless. If your partner speaks to you in this way, they aren’t showing you the proper respect you deserve.

  1. Demeans you, even in front of other people

When a partner treats you like you’re below them, it’s humiliating. They act like you’re in their way, almost a burden to the relationship. This treatment makes you feel insecure and unsure of how to respond. You lose your confidence in yourself. Studies found that when one partner is emotionally abusive, it causes an immediate relational breakdown. Demeaning your partner is not a sign of love, it’s a sign of a dying relationship.

  1. Shows conditional love

If you feel as if you need to earn your partner’s love and approval, it can cause you to feel as if you are not good enough for them. You begin to work hard to keep the peace, trying to do the right things. This behavior does not indicate a healthy relationship. Your partner is acting unloving towards you. Don’t settle for a relationship where you need to perform to be loved. You deserve to be loved for who you are, not what you can do.

  1. Criticizes your every move

A critical partner corrects everything you do. They don’t like the way you cook, how you dress, or wear your hair. You’re never good enough for them. They treat you with disrespect, making you feel like you’re inadequate as a person and a partner. They make you feel unappreciated and unloved. A relationship with a critical person steals your confidence. You begin to feel like you can’t do anything right. This red flag is a sign your self-esteem is dying. You must start to stand up for yourself and stop allowing your partner to kill your confidence.

  1. Blames everything on you

Blameshifting is blaming someone or something for your failures. When your partner refuses to take responsibility for their actions, blaming you instead, it ruins your feelings of being loved. Blameshifting is abusive. If your partner blameshifts you, don’t stand for it. This habit isn’t normal behavior in a loving relationship. You must refuse to be blamed for things you didn’t do.character

  1. You feel trapped by your relationship.

If you’re beginning to feel trapped in your relationship instead of feeling loved and appreciated, it might be the ideal time to step back and evaluate. Feeling trapped causes you to lose confidence in yourself. You feel vulnerable and unable to control what’s happening. Find a trusted friend to talk to about what’s going on in your life. If you need expert advice, seek the aid of a professional therapist.

  1. Won’t listen to your thoughts

If your partner refuses to hear your concerns about your relationship, it’s a bad sign. Being shut down and denied the chance to talk out your thoughts is frustrating. Are you making excuses to stay away from your partner? Do you avoid them because it’s so stressful? You must decide next if you want to continue exposing yourself to the abuse of this unhealthy relationship.

  1. Looking at others or flirting

When your partner stares or flirts with others in front of you, it’s a sign of their lack of love. It shows you that you aren’t enough and they don’t care if you know it. It’s outright disrespectful. You should not have to deal with this kind of insult, don’t allow yourself to live with someone who acts like this. Tell your partner you’re disappointed in their behavior. If they admit it and apologize, that’s good. But if they deny or minimize your concerns by saying you’re just overreacting, then it’s probably time to work your way out of this relationship. No one deserves this kind of disrespect.

  1. Preventing you from following your dreams

If your partner crushes your dreams, they aren’t a loving person. They don’t care for your thoughts or ideas. They may feel competitive and want to push you back because they’re jealous of your successes. This kind of attitude eats away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. You feel like giving up your dreams. Don’t allow your partner to steal your joy and happiness. You deserve to pursue your dreams and enjoy your successes. A healthy, loving relationship involves the encouragement of the other person’s accomplishments. It means having someone in your corner to encourage and help you.

self-esteemFinal Thoughts on Looking After Your Self-esteem

If you sense your relationship is crushing your self-esteem, it may be time to re-evaluate your commitment. Living with a partner’s criticalness, demanding language, and blame-shifting isn’t right for you. Don’t allow yourself to feel trapped. You have a choice, even if your partner makes you feel like you don’t. You are strong and able to make your own choices.

Remove yourself from this toxic relationship and begin the healing process. Talk to a trusted friend or counselor to help your self-esteem recover. Begin discovering who you are as in an individual. Renew your dreams and find joy again in your life. You deserve to be happy and have a healthy, loving relationship.

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Experts Reveal 9 Health Benefits Of Being Kind To Yourself


You may know of the importance of caring for yourself physically. You are likely aware of the need to eat well, exercise often, and live a healthy lifestyle. But did you know that these habits are not the only way you should care for yourself?

A commonly overlooked aspect of looking after yourself is about your mental health. Sure, you might be careful about things that can trigger depression, but how compassionate are you to yourself? Did you know that acts of kindness directed internally can be even more beneficial for your overall health? Here’s how experts reveal nine powerful health benefits of being kind to yourself.

1. Stronger Immune System

When you’re under stress, the body experiences the fight vs. flight instinct, causing the body to focus all its efforts on survival instead of ensuring individual organ and function strength and power. Everything gets slowed down, and you can suffer as a result.

According to research spanning three decades, immunity is considerably impacted by stress, meaning a lack of positive thinking can lead to a higher risk of contracting all sorts of diseases.

According to the University of Texas professor and author Kristin Neff, Ph.D., this means that self-compassion can successfully increase or improve the function of your immune system. There’s a chance you’ll experience:

  • Fewer colds and illnesses
  • Fewer symptoms of illnesses
  • Lower stress reactivity
  • A better balance of hormones and microorganisms
  • Healthier appearance and body

In fact, self-compassion “meditation” is a real way to help promote healing. Simple meditation allows for mindfulness practices that can teach you to be kind to yourself and exert more control over your thoughts and emotions.

2. Stress Reduction

When you’re too hard on yourself, you’re constantly criticizing yourself and, potentially, everything around you. This kind of criticism leads to stress and – as you’ve probably guessed – a fight or flight response, says Stanford University Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education science director and author Emma Seppala, Ph.D.

When you critique yourself, you cause your body to release the stress hormone, cortisol. Cortisol is fine in small amounts and when needed, but when released chronically, it can lead to health issues such as:

  • Acne
  • Easy bruising
  • Weight gain
  • Thinned skin
  • Reduced rate of healing
  • Irritability
  • Concentration loss
  • Headaches
  • Weak muscles
  • High blood pressure
  • Fatigue

According to studies, it’s possible to use positive techniques of self-compassion to break the cycle of negativity, stress, and cortisol production. This is because thinking good thoughts can lead to surges of the feel-good hormone dopamine, says Adelphi University psychology professor and award-winning author Deborah Serani, PsyD.

3. Changing How You Think

When you’re kind to yourself, you begin a new cycle and process of thinking. With long-term practice, you can completely change the way your brain usually functions, allowing for a more efficient structure and a more positive overall thought pattern, says Neff.

This is because being kind to yourself can thicken the cortical, which is the brain portion responsible for communication across the brain. Actions such as meditation can further rewire the brain to be more beneficial to you and your everyday life.

On top of that, self-compassion is crucial to social connection. Essentially, Seppala states that being kind to yourself is a great way to connect with others, and her research shows us that this can help you find common humanity. Instead of losing itself in wrongs and flaws, the brain learns to observe, relate, and empathize.

4. Healthier Heart

You’re probably already very familiar with how stress affects fight vs. flight responses, given the fact that we’ve talked about this multiple times! Naturally, that extends to more than just the cortisol production that we’ve mentioned again and again. After all, that kind of stress response isn’t limited to only one function.

When your body is in this fight or flight mode, you:

  • Experience spikes in blood pressure
  • Have an accelerated heart rate and pulse
  • Cardiovascular strain

Just like with cortisol, this isn’t a bad thing when it only happens when your heart needs the boost – like in a real emergency situation where the rush to your heart helps you survive. On a chronic basis, though, it indicates that your body is attempting to solve its problems by attacking itself, says Neff.

Learn to relax and be kind to yourself instead of allowing stress to take over your body. Your heart will, in the long run, thank you.

5. Exercise Motivation

People often falsely believe that they need to exercise to feel good about their bodies, their appearance, and their overall selves. Ironically, for most people, it works the opposite way. The act of pushing yourself to work out and succeeding in completing that task can give you a massive boost to your self-esteem.

So instead of hating your body and demanding exercise to ease those negative feelings, love your body instead. Sure, it is easier said than done. However you can take baby steps by being kind to yourself. When you care about your body and your mind, you’ll be much more motivated to do things that are good for them, says Neff. Here are some tips to make this happen:

· Do Mirror Exercises

Every day, look in the mirror and repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Positive self-talk has been proven to work wonders for you and your self-perception. Instead of pointing out your worst features, tell your reflection, “I love you.” Appreciate the parts of you that you do love!

· Understand What A Real Body Is

Social media is full of people using angles, editing apps, and careful photo selection only ever to show their best side. The media is full of celebrities with expensive personal trainers and professional chefs at their disposal. Your body is real, and it’s realistic. It is beautiful and doesn’t need to measure up to these unreal, unachievable standards. Remember that!

· Be Grateful

Thank your body for the wonders it does. Appreciate it for keeping you healthy. Acknowledge it for your talents. Thank it for its strength. Thank it for being beautiful, Expressing gratitude towards your body is a huge step forward in being kinder to yourself and reaping the exercise benefits that follow.

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6. Reduced Vice Dependency

A lot of times, a lack of self-love can cause someone to depend on external factors to help them feel happy or better. This type of co-dependency is quite unhealthy and can be very toxic, especially if you find yourself relying on other human beings to feel satisfied. Vices can include:

  • Smoking or vaping
  • Taking drugs
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Eating in excess
  • Self-harming tendencies
  • Obsession and hyper fixation with fantasy
  • Co-dependency with loved ones

When you’re kind to yourself, you learn to be self-dependent. You learn that you’re a great person to rely on. As such, you’re less likely to turn to unhealthy vices. Studies indicate that even severe addictions can be helped through kindness.

7. Mental Resilience

One of the very, very best benefits of self-compassion is that you become mentally stronger. It’s much harder for the world to bring you down when you are your support system.

Does this mean you’d never seek out help from external parties? Of course not! Everyone needs help sometimes. But, according to Seppala, when you practice self-compassion, you:

  • Don’t burden yourself with excessive criticism.
  • Can keep a more definite peace of mind
  • Manage to retain emotional energy
  • Are more mindful of how you speak to or think of yourself

These factors combined contribute to your mental fortitude when you’re more self-compassionate, so it’s a fundamental trait to try to maintain!

8. Pain Management

Chronic pain and other similar conditions and issues can be debilitating. Worse still, they’re known for having less than stellar effects on positive thinking. In fact, considerable, untreated, or difficult-to-manage pain levels can contribute to and be affected in turn by symptoms of anxiety and depression.

According to Serani, acts such as meditation and mindfulness, which work to improve your self-compassion, prove to help relax the body enough to reduce chronic pain of all kinds. In fact, because self-compassion is so deeply interwoven with chronic pain – as found by plenty of studies – it’s not an exaggeration to say that they do go hand-in-hand.

When your self-compassion is low, your pain is worse, and when your pain is worse, your self-compassion gets even smaller. You need to break the cycle! Aside from focusing on being kind to yourself, you can also manage chronic pain and your kindness by:

· Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy are both typical go-tos for those dealing with chronic pain, according to Ted Jones, Ph.D., CPE. This kind of thinking shifts your thoughts from self-loathing or self-pitying to considering future options, which puts the power back in your hands.

· Pacing Yourself

When you’re not kind to yourself, feelings of guilt may cause you to push yourself extra hard. You may work yourself down to the bone, even when your body needs a break. Jones encourages the act of learning your body and pain’s limits and respecting them with the knowledge that you deserve to rest, too.

· Chill Out

Holding tension in your body due to stress is often a clear sign that you’re not kind to yourself. Worse still, holding that tension causes stiffness that can further worsen chronic pain.

9. Diabetes Management

Diabetes is a severe condition, and it’s not something any proper mindset can cure, of course. This fact is not to say, though, that positive thinking can’t aid in overall management. In fact, according to Neff, a lot of the additional problems of diabetes can come from stress and distress. Learning to manage those emotions can lead to more stable glucose levels.

Considering the concept of cortisol and how cortisol presence boosts blood sugar, this isn’t a surprise at all. As such, though it sounds a little outlandish to say, being kind to yourself can indirectly help with the management of diabetes!

kind to yourselfFinal Thoughts On Some Powerful Health Benefits Of Being Kind To Yourself

Self-compassion is a crucial skill, not just for your mental state, but for your physical one as well. The overall effects of kindness on your whole being go to show just how crucial it is to care about yourself on a deeper level. Never be ashamed of loving the person you are!

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Life Coaches Explain How to Create an Action Plan to Attain Your Goals


You have goals. That’s wonderful. Believe it or not, you’re doing great. Life coaches everywhere will tell you that a lot of people haven’t even made it that far.

Now you’re probably wondering how to achieve those goals. Many people psych themselves out at this step. It can be overwhelming trying to figure out how to achieve these grand goals you have floating in your head.

Life coach Lauren Handel Zander suggests that people haven’t really taken enough time to figure out what they want out of life. Taking the time to sit down and map out what you want can help guide your life. “Whatever you’re chasing in life — it needs to be you true north,” says Zander.

The best way to not get overwhelmed, and to achieve goals is to create an action plan. When you have a plan, you can see the journey step by step and suddenly your goals seem easy to attain. Here is the best way to create a great action plan based on advice from several life coaches.

A Ten-Step Action Plan to Help You Reach Your Dreams

Step 1: Relax.

As stated before, a lot of people can be overwhelmed at the thought of trying to achieve goals. Just relax. You need to get rid of stress first before you embark on this journey because you need a clear head.

Whatever you need to do to take the edge off, do it (as long as it’s nothing harmful to yourself like drugs or alcohol). Take a couple of days off, do yoga, read some self-help books, and get yourself in the right state of mind. You don’t want to start the journey off as a frazzled mess. That isn’t going to help anything.

Step 2: Clearly define your SMART goals.

You may have goals, but your goals need to be clearly defined. According to life coach Alexis Robin, co-founder of pLink Coaching Center, “when you get crystal clear about where you are going on a project, in your career, or in your life, each decision you make will get you closer to or further from that vision. If you are struggling with big decisions it may be because you don’t have your destination clearly identified.”

To clearly identify your goals, you should use the acronym SMART. This stands for:

  • Specific – your smart goal should be as specific as possible. For example, instead of just saying you want to save money, you should specify how much you want to save and give yourself a deadline.
  • Measurable – you should be able to keep track of your progress. It’s essential to be able to see the progress from week to week or month to month.
  • Attainable – you should always aim high, but the goal needs to be reasonable and attainable. For example, don’t say you want to save a million dollars in six months if you’re currently only bringing in $20,000 annually.
  • Relevant – the goal should be relevant to your life, skills, and needs. For example, don’t have a plan to buy a new car if your goal is to save money.
  • Time-based – you should be able to set a deadline for you to achieve the goal. The deadline should be reasonable.

Step 3: Figure out your reason why.

It’s important to understand why you want to reach the SMART goal you’re striving for. Your reason why could be simple. You want to save money so you’re not living paycheck to paycheck. You want to lose weight so you can live a healthier lifestyle. These are simple, but sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to find the real why.

This could take some self-exploration and it may be a little scary to do that. However, understanding why you want to achieve that goal will provide you with the motivation you need to do it.

For example, you might want to save money so you can enjoy more time and activities with your children before they completely grow up. That’s much more motivational than simply saying you don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck.

Step 4. Create actions and a timeline.

You have your SMART goal in place, and you’re motivated to accomplish it. This part of the action plan is where you map out exactly how you’re going to do that.

You should be able to create a list of actions or tasks that will take you, step by step, to your goal. Essentially, you’re going to divide your main goal into smaller goals. Remember to keep the smaller goals attainable.

Step 5: Get started.

You would be surprised how many people create an entire action plan but never put it into action. Now that you have your plan all set, you have to start doing it. A plan without any action isn’t a plan at all.

This is where your real why is most important. It’s going to give you that fire to get started. Keep that in mind and don’t be afraid to take that first step in your plan.

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Step 6: Delegate tasks and designate resources.

Parts of your plan may require the help of other people and outside resources. Don’t be afraid to seek out that help. However, make sure you’re counting on reliable people.

For example, if your goal is saving money, you might have a plan to get a promotion so you can have more money coming in. This means you may need to step up at work and take on leadership positions which include managing other co-workers. Here is where you’d delegate tasks and designate resources.

Step 7: Take your plan step by step.

Remember to take your plan step by step. Of course, you’re going to keep your primary goal in mind, but don’t allow yourself to think of the entire goal at one time. You may find yourself getting overwhelmed.

Remember, you made an action plan for a reason. Don’t focus on future steps. Focus on the step that you’re currently working on.

Step 8: Don’t give up.

Your plan makes it easier to achieve your goals, but it doesn’t make everything easy. There are still going to be challenges along the way. These challenges might push you to your limit.

You have to remember not to give up. Make sure you have a source of strength around you to keep you pushing towards your goals. Keep a reminder of your real why near you. Write daily affirmations, listen to motivational videos, and do whatever it takes to keep going. Remember, when things get hard, or almost impossible, don’t give up.

Step 9: Monitor your progress.

Keep an eye on the progress that you’re making. As you achieve each of your smaller goals, look at them as milestones. Look at them as points in the plan where you need to recognize your small successes so far and make sure you’re still on track.

In other words, hold yourself accountable. If your goal involves a team, hold your team accountable. Have meetings to make sure everything is going as planned. If you need to, meet with individual team members.

Pay attention to the needs that arise as you follow the steps of the action plan. Make sure you’re providing those needs so that your progress won’t stop. In fact, you may need to anticipate needs so that your progress doesn’t stall. You can’t anticipate needs unless you’re doing a great job of monitoring your progress.

Step 10. Celebrate your successes.

Everyone works better on a rewards system. Plan to reward yourself with the accomplishment of each small goal. It can be a small reward, or it can be something extravagant (although if you’re trying to save money you may want to go with a small reward).

If you have a team that’s involved in your plan, don’t forget to reward them for their successes as well. The reward could be as simple as recognition for their efforts. There are plenty of studies that show that employees (or team members) work harder and are more productive when they are recognized for their efforts.

This includes you recognizing yourself. It’s a great way to keep up your self-motivation.

action planFinal Thoughts on Creating an Action Plan to Attain Your Goals

Having goals is the first step to a better future, but you have to find a way to reach them. Action plans are the way to do this. Focusing on the big picture all at once can be overwhelming but creating a plan to get you there makes your goals much more attainable.

Life coaches everywhere will tell you that smaller, attainable tasks take the pressure off you and that taking the pressure off allows you to thrive when you’re pursuing your goals. Take this advice and get started on your action plan as soon as possible. Remember to stay focused and stay motivated and before you know it, your big picture will become a reality.

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Pros Reveal 6 Simple Tips To Help You Organize Your Kids’ Closets


Are your kids’ closets a jumbled mess? That likely scenario is not at all surprising!

No one is quite as disorganized as a child! With a little understanding of the importance of keeping things tidy, kids can create quite a mess and leave a trail of havoc wherever they go. It can be difficult for parents to keep up – and even more difficult for those kids to find what they need later!

That’s why it’s so vital to teach children to start being organized as young as possible. This way, organizing habits will come naturally to them, and they’ll learn how to keep things neat and orderly as they grow up. But with all the things kids have, how can everything be stored correctly? Here’s how pros reveal six simple tips to help you organize your kids’ closets!

1. Hang Things Up

Hanging things up is a simple and easy way to keep things off the floor. All you have to do is make sure your children have enough hooks and hangers, and you’ll naturally have things organized in some form! Morevoer, you will help decrease morning-time stress!

Here are several easy tasks you can start with:

· Figure Out How Hanging Things Works

Help your children create a system for their clothes. For example, their clothes can be organized by color and category. This way, they can grab and put away their clothes quickly later!

· Use Doubler Rods

Having two rods in your child’s closet not only increases the hanging space in the closet, but they also allow smaller children to put away their clothes with ease too. This will enable them to practice organizing their closet by themselves.

· Try Using Hooks

Putting on your child’s closet provides more organizational options for your child. They can use these hooks to hang bags, scarves, jackets, or even jewelry – which helps keep their things off the floor and their room free of clutter.

· Invest In Good Hangers

It may seem strange, but getting the right kind of hangers can make storage easier for your child’s closet. Slimline hangers take up less space than ordinary hangers, allowing you to squeeze in more clothes onto a rack. Some of them come with non-slip designs as well, ensuring that clothes won’t slide off the hangers while in the closet.

2. Figure Out How A Good Closet Works

To store things well, you first have to invest in a functional closet. Not just in terms of build quality, but also in terms of how usable it is from your child’s point-of-view. After all, it is much easier to encourage cleanliness and orderliness if the act of storing and retrieving their belongings is a positive experience!

· Make Sure Everything Is Accessible

Your child needs to have a closet that they can use to its fullest. This means making sure that baskets are within reach, and things can be easily seen and retrieved from the open shelves. This lowered height makes it easier for your child to maintain and organize their own space.

· Invest In A Working Closet System

Not all closets are designed the same. Look for one that has the right number and arrangement of shelves, cubbies, and drawers your child needs.

· Designate Different Spaces For Different Things

Organizing is easier for your child if they know where things should go. Help your child decide on a “home” for their belongings so that they are encouraged to return the appropriate items to their respective shelves. For example, their shoes’ home can be in a drawer, and underwear can have their home on a specific shelf!

3. Make Things Convenient

No matter how old you are, cleaning can come across as a menial chore and a drag. For children, this is understandably even worse – which can explain why they may struggle to keep their rooms and closets clean. Here are a few things you can do to help them:

· Have A Basket Or Bin For Everything

Using a mix of bins and baskets allows you to contain and store things that won’t usually fit onto a shelf or into a drawer. It also gives your children someplace to put the bulkier stuff they love, like puzzles, books, stuffed toys, or even shoes.

· Make Labels

Teaching your child how to label things can help them keep track of their belongings and their respective shelves. You can then teach them to match items to their labeled shelves for easy cleanup.

· Coordinate By Color

Color-coordination can turn fixing up the closet into a fun and easy task for your child. Have them put their toys in a basket of the same color, or place their books back onto a shelf with books of similar color.

· Use Closet Dividers

Closet dividers help divide up a closet into more spaces. This allows your child to get specific with their storage, and control the size of their shelves per their needs or wants!

4. Unique Storage Options

Typical storage methods may be just what you need for your children. This offers them more options to keep things clean, and may make organizing their closet and space a more exciting experience!

Here are a few helpful hints you can try for your children:

· Go For Hidden Storage

There’s nothing more exciting for children than a hidden drawer or bin. This can encourage them to put their things away while also doubling the amount of storage space for them.

· DIY A Hanging Pegboard

A pegboard wall with hooks offers both you and your child more versatility when it comes to storage options. You can use it to store books, knick-knacks, and various miscellaneous items – whatever organizational space you need, you can configure a pegboard for the task.

· Don’t Let The Door Go to Waste

You can quickly put up a set of hooks or a hanging organizer for additional storage space. This not only utilizes an unusual space that would otherwise go to waste, but it also allows your child to easily see and store their belongings.

· Bring Write Kitchen Shelves In

Kitchen shelves don’t have to be reserved for just your kitchen. You can also utilize them for your child’s storage, allowing you to put their belongings somewhere that’s visible. This not only leaves everything in sight and easy reach for your child but also offers plenty of vertical storage space as well.

· Mix Laundry Baskets With Shelves

Laundry baskets don’t have to be just for laundry. You can also use them as a shelf of sorts, and have your child use it as a storage spot for all kinds of miscellaneous items they may have.

closet organizing for kids5. Make Cleanup Easy

The simplest way to encourage your children to clean up after themselves is to make the task easy! It is often easy to forget just how difficult it can be for a child to remember to clean up after themselves. Lowering the energy and mental requirements for your children solves that issue, and it can be quickly done by:

· Set Up A Bin Or Two For Toys

Putting down some stackable storage bins for your children creates an easily accessible place for your children’s toys. You can help your child label said containers so that they know what goes where, which further incentivizes them to put things back “home”.

· Prepare A Laundry Basket

Give your children a place to put their dirty laundry. A basket with handles will not only create a logical place for dirty clothes but can also be carried by your child to the laundry room when full.

· Have An Open Bin Ready For Quick Cleanup

Simply have a large, open bin for bulky items. Have your child toss everything into it before bedtime – pillows, stuffed toys, throw blankets, etc. No questions asked.

6. When Losing Motivation, Remember The Benefits

No matter how much work you put in, it bears remembering that this is essentially an ongoing lesson you will have to teach them for the entirety of their childhood. That can seem like a long time on a bad day, and you might find yourself in despair instead!

It’s best to cling on tight to positive thinking, however. Research tells us that with enough time, the organizational skills you teach them scale up to other aspects of their life as well. For example, they become better at:

· Learning To Follow Directions

It may seem simple, but trying to follow directions is a lot harder for children than you might think. This is because it requires a child to be capable of focusing on the task at hand and mentally constructing a course of action for it. These two things need mental organizational and planning skills – something a child can learn from organizing their closet.

· Easier Location

With everything placed away from where they should be, you’ll find that it’s easier for both you and your child to find things.

· Gaining Math Skills

Organizational skills find their place in math, a subject that is also highly organized. So it should come as no surprise that studies have pointed out the relationship between a child’s organizational skills and their mathematical academic achievement. As such, teaching your children how to organize their closet – and by extension, teaching them organizational skills – may have a positive effect on their studies later on.

· Learning Confidence

The task of rewarding your child for cleaning up their closet may also be what helps build their confidence. Research shows that being specific about praise helps boost their child in the praised area. This means that regularly rewarding and praising your child for organizing their toys and clothing will help them increase their sense of self, their capacity for positive thinking, and their ability to organize!

· Gaining Literacy

When a child reads a book or writes a story, they have to keep track of several things at once. For example, they’d have to keep track of plot, story concept, characters, and their relationships. This actually all requires organizational skills that they can, fortunately, learn through visually organizing their space, as research has shown.

closet organizing for kidsFinal Thoughts On Following These Simple Tips To Help You Organize Your Kids’ Closets

No one expects, wants, or needs children to be the perfect depictions of a filing cabinet. We all know full well that kids will be kids! Being young involves being a little messy. But that doesn’t mean that children can’t begin to learn how to keep things tidy, and what better way to start teaching organization than through their closets?

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4 Simple Ways To Appreciate Yourself Every Day


There are many excellent things to appreciate in everyday life. You can always find beauty in nature and the world. There are friends, family, and loved ones. And, there are simple necessities. There are all your favorite things. But you might be missing out on the most crucial person to appreciate: yourself!

Yes, many things are worth appreciating, and you certainly should be grateful for them! But many people lose sight of their merit when they focus so much on how good everything else is. Don’t forget that you’re a wonderful person. Additionally, you deserve self-appreciation all the same. If you don’t appreciate yourself, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

But you might find this more challenging that one would think. It can be tough to learn not just to love yourself but actively be grateful for yourself, especially daily. To help inspire you, here are four quick and simple yet effective ways to appreciate yourself every day.

1. Surround Yourself With Good People

To facilitate self-directed positive thinking, you first need to create a positive environment that will appreciate and love you in turn. After all, it’s only fair that you receive back what you put out there into the world! So take care to vet your friends carefully, and find the people who will treat you the way you deserve to.

· Accept And Appreciate Genuine Compliments

Good relationships will try to build you up, which is precisely what we all need. It can be tempting to downplay or brush aside a compliment and instead await some grand display of affection, but this isn’t healthy or realistic. Instead, it is much healthier for both our self-esteem and our relationships with others to accept and internalize genuine compliments. A study has shown that receiving praise is related to a positive increase in our capabilities too!

· Remove Toxic People From Your Life

It’s easy to find yourself surrounded by toxic people who take advantage of you, without ever really returning the love and care you give them. This can apply to both parents, friends, and partners alike. If any of them either demands help without helping you in turn, belittles you repeatedly, or talks to you behind your back, it’s best to cut them out of your life directly. Set up firm, healthy boundaries, and stick to those who take care of your feelings in return.

· Ask A Close Friend To Explain What They Like About You

You may feel like this is unnecessary and selfish, but there’s no harm in asking your friends what they like or love about you – especially if you’re not feeling too well. Have them tell you or it down for you to read so that you can be reminded of what positive impact you have on those around you, and what you’re good at. This activity will give you something to refer back to the next time you find yourself questioning your worth!

2. Maintain A Healthy Lifestyle

Your physical and mental wellbeing are often two things that are strongly intertwined with each other. So it should come as no surprise that it’s easier to engage in self-directed positive thinking when you’re physically healthy and in good shape.

With that in mind, here are a few things to consider when trying to make yourself healthy:

· Eat A Balanced Diet

Studies have shown that there is a pretty strong correlation between nutritional deficiencies and depression. In other words, there’s a pretty good reason you should take a closer look at your current diet. Getting enough water, nutrition, and sleep will make you feel physically better – and, by extension, makes it easier for you to feel better about yourself.

· Exercise

Exercise has been proven by research to confer all sorts of benefits for both your physical and mental wellbeing. In this particular case, it helps with alleviating anxiety and depression. And this is before taking into account that workouts will help you feel and look better, which can help build your sense of self-worth. This is especially so if you’re doing strength training, which often has clear and visible progress you can refer to!

· Manage Stress Levels

This tidbit should come as no surprise to you. Stress has been proven by research to inflict a strong, negative effect on our psychological state. This means that doing your best to manage your stress and relax helps you appreciate yourself better!

3. Learn To Talk Yourself Up

Many of us often tend to talk down or belittle ourselves, whether out loud or internally. This is especially so if we had grown up in an environment that had been very hurtful while we were growing up, and in the process, internalized these negative thoughts.

To better appreciate yourself better, it’s better for your mental wellbeing to instead:

· Replace Negative Thoughts

If you find yourself faced with negative beliefs about yourself, try replacing them with something else. Statements like “I’m so fat” or “I’m so stupid” will naturally come up automatically after making a mistake or being embarrassed, but they should not go uncontested. Instead, rewrite them to be more realistic and positive. Bring up the good things you have about yourself, or remind yourself that your failures do not make you a bad person.

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· Don’t Fall Victim To Shame

Before you can truly learn to appreciate yourself, you first need to differentiate between guilt and shame, and the emotions they cause. Both of them are responses to making a mistake, but only one of them is potentially productive. Guilt often realizes and acknowledges that you’ve done something terrible, and can spur you to positive change. On the other hand, shame often makes you stew in feelings of failure. This, of course, isn’t productive in the slightest. If you make an error, it is always best to focus on remedying it the best you can, and then moving on.

· Use Mantras Or Positive Affirmations

Self-affirmation isn’t as silly as you might think it is. Studies show that repeated upbeat mantras – especially in reaction to adverse circumstances – can activate the reward center of your brain. As a result, the usage of mantras in the face of adversity can help reinforce one’s inner resilience and strength. This means that so long as it’s short, concise, and meaningful to you, that mantra you’re repeating in your head may just brighten your day!

· Leave Yourself Post-It Notes

Another way to saturate yourself with positive affirmations is by placing sticky notes where you can see them. Try writing down little notes like “I’m fantastic,” and “I am loved.”

Then place them where you could use some encouragement. For example, on your bathroom mirror, on the back of the door when you’re heading out, or even in your wallet. This makes self-affirmation a tangible and visible thing that, depending on how creative you get (and how quickly you forget), may serve as a way to boost your spirits at unexpected times of the day.

· Delve Into Your Thoughts

Far too often, we tend to accept negative self-assessments without ever really challenging them casually. As a result, we tend to simply take these negative ideas of unworthiness and belittling as fact, despite them often being mostly baseless. So the next time you find yourself coping with thoughts of worthlessness and the like, consider asking yourself what triggered them, and where do these thoughts come from. This way, you get to identify what is the actual root cause behind such negative perceptions of yourself and learn how to undo that learned thought behavior. Remember – you are not your thoughts. They are temporary and will pass with time. It’s best to allow them to leave without clinging on to them.

4. Be Kind To Others

Too often, we tend to focus on negativity, often to the point that we ignore everyone around us. It may seem counterintuitive, but turning our focus outwards and caring for others is often an incredibly effective way to feel better about ourselves. This is because we get to finally do something tangible that has clear and distinct positive effects, which often, in turn, uplifts our mood.

On top of that, kindness can also serve as both a way to practice gratitude – which in itself is a useful skill that helps with one’s self-worth. Want to get started? Here are a few tips to get started with:

· Thank Those Around You

Try taking a moment to recognize when someone did their best to help you out, and thank them in return. It’s a simple action that not only inspires positivity in others but also likely will inspire positivity in you as well! To do this, pay attention to the actions and behavior of those around you, friends, and strangers alike. While a general “thank you” will suffice, it pays to take one step further and try being specific about what good or help they’ve done for you. This way, you’ll also learn to be more appreciative and observant of the world around you.

· Go The Extra Mile

Instead of being a passive bystander, be deliberate in your acts of encouragement and understanding. Research has shown that performing acts of kindness helps the performer’s wellbeing as well. This is often because the act of thinking and treating others kindly inspires you to think about how you, too, can be kind and understanding towards yourself as well, and how you would want others to treat you.

· Volunteer For A Good Cause

Consider trying to help those less fortunate than you are in places like soup kitchens, orphanages, or nursing homes. In the process of assisting others, you’ll find that you might actually be uplifted in turn as well – and not just in an emotional way. Studies show that serving others not only reduces depression and negative thoughts, but also gives you a boost in oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin – all neurotransmitters that are responsible for feelings of happiness and joy!

appreciate yourselfFinal Thoughts On Some Simple, Yet Effective Ways To Appreciate Yourself Every Day

Appreciating yourself is about feeling good about yourself, caring for yourself, and taking note of your achievements and excellent qualities. You don’t have to do anything intricate or fancy to appreciate yourself fully – even the simplest of steps can help you appreciate yourself daily. Before you know it, that self-love will be ingrained in you!

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